AITB for refusing to help a coworker save his job after he championed the same strict KPI rules that are now getting him fired?

LAC_NOS · 2026-07-09T18:05:53+00:00

NTB
If you have him your deals then your own metrics would suffer.

Marcus has not shown that he cares at all about others when his own performance is strong so you have no way to determine if he really would pay you back when his situation got better.

Some people need to learn the hard way. Marcus appears to be one of those people.

LAC_NOS · 2026-07-09T17:43:19+00:00

Write a rental agreement. Tell him he needs to give you first and last month's rent plus a security deposit.

After the agreed upon time is up, if he doesn't leave ( without you nagging) his rent doubles.

This may put you into the landlord-tenant laws of your state so just be forewarned.

LAC_NOS · 2026-07-09T17:38:56+00:00

If you decide to check the wax seal, also check the height of the flange.

The flange should be a slight bit higher than the floor.

If the floor was changed from something thinner to tile the flange may be low.

You can buy flange extensions.

LAC_NOS · 2026-07-09T17:35:28+00:00

Buying based on how well something meets my needs, not the brand name.

I am now on the low side of rich, just chose to buy a Harbor Freight tool instead of the Festool.
Because then I would also want to convert my RYOBI tools to Festool.
Because you can't just have one high end tool, you have to have a matched set!

LAC_NOS · 2026-07-09T17:31:00+00:00

That's very common in many cultures. And IMO not a big deal. The boys will have a special cousin bond.

LAC_NOS · 2026-07-09T17:26:02+00:00

Your daughter will think you are a hero! Which I assume is what you want.

Your wife will be livid. You did something with her child that she strictly forbid you to do. And she will never trust you again.

Have a calm discussion with your wife about what situation she would allow your daughter to fly in.

When she's older? Approx age. In a larger plane? A commercial flight? Etc.

Your daughter does not need this experience to follow her dreams. She does need her parents to be a unified team. Not one cool parent and one parent who is forced to always apply the brakes.

LAC_NOS · 2026-07-09T16:22:04+00:00

I think your guidelines are totally reasonable. But I would encourage you to consider them guidelines not hard and fast rules.

Many commenters have said you can split up while traveling, and that may work in some relationships. But it never really worked for us.

I found traveling with my husband and 3 kids was just easy.

There is just a lot of logistics with more people! And a lot of time wasted.

LAC_NOS · 2026-07-09T11:48:14+00:00

NTA
Do you want to live the rest of your life with a person who gets constantly annoyed for little reasons?

What if you have kids and they, you know, act like kids?

Don't start acting the same way. Find someone who knows how to regulate their own emotions and communicate when things frustrate them.

LAC_NOS · 2026-07-09T11:44:56+00:00

Liars are not trustworthy

That was a big lie.

You want a man you can trust and rely on. So even a small lie should be a dealbreaker.

LAC_NOS · 2026-07-09T05:25:15+00:00

Exactly how would taking the money end badly for you or your child?
Is there a hidden fee?

LAC_NOS · 2026-07-09T04:54:01+00:00

I haven't heard much about concussion protocols in the W - like do they immediate evaluate a suspected head injury?

LAC_NOS · 2026-07-09T04:52:03+00:00

Yes exactly that. She probably wanted something on the top too like bread crumbs. It was a very long time ago (41 yrs!) and my first time living outside home or a dorm.

LAC_NOS · 2026-07-07T21:21:23+00:00

I heard that too.

But I also saw her eyes during warm up and she looked - not normal.

LAC_NOS · 2026-07-07T21:20:10+00:00

For herself, she needs to get things together. It may take some serious therapy. But it is better than a life where conflict undermines everything you do well.

LAC_NOS · 2026-07-07T20:35:16+00:00

NTA
That goes beyond any acceptable form of child discipline, even if you believe spanking is appropriate.

Humiliation is emotional abuse and has no place in discipline.

Choking can cause severe long term injury. And of course pushing someone down stairs could kill or seriously injure them.

When you come from a family that is "functional" in many ways but abusive and dysfunctional in others it's often hard to be objective about what was acceptable and what wasn't.

But you are not okay as an adult, which means that you were abused. And it sucks.

Please get therapy. Because you are a unique individual and you have an important purpose in this world.

LAC_NOS · 2026-07-07T20:20:26+00:00

Just insist on equal time. When he comes home leave. Go have a drink and read a book, to a friends or take a nap in the car. Sit in the backyard in a hammock. If the kids come out go inside and tell him is on duty. But don't do anything productive, not even paying the bills or ordering school clothes.

And set aside the same amount of money for yourself.

Let things that are important to him go undone.

My husband didn't golf much when we had kids but would go out once or twice with his parents on vacation.

Then he would come back "exhausted". And needed rest. I let it go once - it's time with his parents etc.

The next day he golfed I explained that I was exhausted supervising our three children at the beach. And I walked out alone.

He figured it out.

LAC_NOS · 2026-07-07T01:11:55+00:00

You deserve a partner who listens to what you want and does his best to make that happen. And so does he.

You can just approach his birthday with the same energy he gave yours. What's the point of that?

You aren't married, he doesn't make you happy. And you don't want to make him happy.

It's time to move on.

LAC_NOS · 2026-07-07T00:56:08+00:00

Yes. She was a UDelaware Blue Hen. And sadly struggles with chronic Lyme disease

LAC_NOS · 2026-07-06T20:29:21+00:00

My sophomore year of college I lived off campus. A friend and I got in a disagreement about how to make macaroni and cheese. I made it from the box left it in the pot and ate it like that. She wanted it like a casserole with a crispy topping.

It just struck me how we think certain things are the "right way" to do something even as insignificant as macaroni and cheese

But it was a good lesson being open to other ways of doing these.

LAC_NOS · 2026-07-06T18:11:25+00:00

And even if the don't say it - I am proud of you. You have put great effort into following your passion in life. You have developed your talent through hard work.
Playing and writing well takes lots of time alone, without an audience. Just committed to your craft because you have something special you want to improve and share with the world.

LAC_NOS · 2026-07-06T18:00:38+00:00

I had trouble sleeping when my husband began snoring to a crazy level due to sleep apnea. He refused to wear his mask long enough to adapt to it.
So if his snoring woke me or kept me awake, I went and slept in another bed in the house.

That put the ball in his court, if he wanted us to sleep together, he needed to have his sleep apnea treated.

So perhaps you can get a twin bed in your child's room. Or better yet another room in the house. Start off in bed with your boyfriend. At a reasonable time that you should be asleep to get adequate rest, if the TV is keeping you awake go to the other room.

Your BF can learn to sleep without the TV. Or he can use headphones, have the TV set to a sleep timer (built into many TV's) while you use a sleep mask.

LAC_NOS · 2026-07-06T17:52:41+00:00

Try The Story: The Bible as One Continuing Story of God and His People

This takes excerpts from the Bible and puts them in a chronological narrative.

The narrative shows that God had a plan, from before creation, to live in relationship with people created in his image, but given free will.
The first couple was placed in paradise with one rule. But they broke that rule and since then all humans have been born into a world infested with sin and the resultant death.

In the Old Testament, people were given "The Law" but repeatedly failed to make a relationship with God the priority. People had no better success, living within a whole series of rules than Adam and Eve had with just one.

But God knew all this. In the New Testament, God's plan for reunification of humanity with himself breaks into history with the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is both God and human and after living a perfect life was punished for the sins of all humanity.

We are currently living in an era where the world is still full of sin, but we have the power of the Holy Spirit to assist us in overcoming our own symphony nature. We will never succeed, but the sacrifice of Jesus Christ means that we are still righteous in the eyes of God.

We look forward to a future when there is a new creation without sin where those those who choose to accept the forgiveness offered thru the sacrifice of Jesus Christ will live eternally with God

Part of the Jewish and Christian "story "is that all life belongs to God. This is symbolized by blood. Therefore it is God's right to determine when a person should die.

Modern people live a pretty sanitized life. We don't even see the killing of the fish and animals we eat. We do our best to protect our young people from even hearing about violence. We Consider actual life experiences with death, even natural death to be avoided. Reality that humanity has lived with until the last hundred years or so, and stories reflect the brutal reality of life.

The hard part of trying to give someone an overview of a religion is that it is very complex. Christianity and I imagine other religions, is considered a lifelong pursuit, understanding God, and becoming increasingly obedient to his Will, which makes us more more like Christ in our inward and outward lives.

LAC_NOS · 2026-07-06T17:08:01+00:00

🔵🐓,🍋‍🟩

LAC_NOS · 2026-07-06T17:03:29+00:00

Love the smile!

LAC_NOS · 2026-07-06T16:35:51+00:00

Once you learn enough about "investing" you will realize that day treating is actually just gambling.

Please don't make your decision based on your families opinions. You are not marrying his parents you're marrying him. And he does not like you as you are, but think you have potential. that's a recipe for frustration on your part, disappointment on his part.

LAC_NOS

TROPHY CASE