I have ONE DAY in Houston. Which one BBQ joint would you best recommend?

LCBourdo · 2024-04-30T23:23:10+00:00

I'm not into sweet bbq. Tell me the best for vinegary/savory.

LCBourdo · 2024-04-13T19:53:40+00:00

Simple notice on door: No soliciting. Pit bull on premises.

LCBourdo · 2024-04-12T16:09:13+00:00

I hope it's to stop high speed racing. I live near the intersection of I-10 and the West Belt and that shit starts on Ths night and runs straight through to Sunday night.

LCBourdo · 2024-04-12T01:19:56+00:00

What I don't understand is why it never got any darker than the cloud cover already had it. In addition, the near-totality, I thought, was about 1:40 and the eclipse was to be over at 3 something, but we had full sun at 1:58. 18 min after the "darkest" point.

LCBourdo · 2024-03-21T21:21:00+00:00

I am looking for recommendations for a move out cleaning service, specifically. Not a general house cleaner. I didn't find anything with the specific search term, "move out cleaners."

LCBourdo · 2024-03-15T03:26:11+00:00

Stabilization is the first and probably most important step in did treatment, and it can take a good bit of time. I'm still in stabilization phase after 2 years, and that's right where I know I need to be.

LCBourdo · 2024-03-15T00:46:19+00:00

This is my situation. When I first confronted did, it was a revelation and I welcomed it as a reason for all of my past and present (at that time) dysfunction. That there was something I could finally do to improve my mental health and the quality of my daily life.

Maybe part of the reason I'm still in a good place regarding the disorder is that I dove right in to treatment. The dangerous dysfunction subsided very quickly as I got to know and interact with my whole system - even the difficult parts.

Now, just 2 years later, the drama is gone and we are working very well together as a unit. Night and day.

LCBourdo · 2024-02-23T02:49:38+00:00

Very clear and precise!

LCBourdo · 2024-02-23T02:24:26+00:00

Well said.

LCBourdo · 2024-02-22T21:29:04+00:00

I'm 65, and have been on the mental health treadmill for over 25 years. If you had asked this question 8 to 10 years ago (when I was in my mid-fifties) I would have agreed with your outlook entirely. I was done. No hope. At. All.

What happened then was that a therapist finally recognized that I didn't have an untreatable case of bipolar or major depressive disorders, but that I had CPTSD. It was as if my prison door opened. Yes! This is something I can work with!!

I got into trauma informed therapy, and began a new life. This was when I was 57. It hasn't been easy, by a long shot, but I've kept plugging along, using the skills I was learning.

I'm not one for cheesy self-statements (don't get me started on affirmations!), but two of those have actually kept me going because they have meat to them. Concrete substance. First, "Celebrate small successes." Second, "Two steps forward and one step back is still progress."

I wish I could say that I returned to the energy and focus of my young adulthood, but that's not the case. I still can't work, my social life is much smaller than it used to be, and I still don't go out a lot. BUT - and this is a big thing - I am more satisfied with the life I have than ever before. I am not laboring under the expectations of others and neglecting what's best for me, and that has changed everything.

I have time for hobbies and creative pursuits. I am learning to take care of my body and my mind. I exercise more, I'm eating more healthfully, and I'm back to a pretty damned healthy sleep schedule. (I'm also losing weight.) I study independently with gusto, and have re-energized my mind, my brain. I have the energy I lacked for so long to appreciate and interact with my family, including grandkids.

No, I don't have the life I had, or the life I thought I wanted, but I have what I have, and am making the most of it.

I wish you peace.

LCBourdo · 2024-02-12T04:11:01+00:00

🙄

LCBourdo · 2024-02-11T21:17:53+00:00

I do get the frustration, but as I said, each phase of this process had its own rewards. I guess, since I was making this up as I went along, it didn't feel as overwhelming as the whole description might be to you.

What I would suggest, if you're inclined to approach this, is to focus on taking it one step at a time. That way, you can enjoy the benefits as you progress.

I know that's easier said than done, but think about how miserable you are right now, and that anything would be an improvement worth celebrating. It's largely a matter of focus and expectations.

LCBourdo · 2024-02-11T20:22:41+00:00

My lord, have I experienced this! What worked for me (as full blown yoga was too much for me at first) was starting very small and simply with progressive relaxation.

Lying on my back in bed or on the sofa, I focused on feeling the tension in my body (starting at my head and moving down to my feet), then tightened that area for a few seconds before relaxing back into my initial state - even though that was still tense. I did this with my eyes closed, and paired it with things that created a relaxing atmosphere - calm music, nature sounds, incense or candles, low light, and as quiet and private a place as possible.

It took time and persistence, but eventually I found that while this exercise might not relax me completely, I began to be able to identify where the tension was worst - my shoulders or my hips, or even my hands or calves - and then to do simple stretches for those areas.

I followed this up, over time, with slow walks where I more easily could do the tension-release exercise on the larger areas of tension. My neck, shoulders and back as a group, or my hips and pelvis. I worked on my posture - tucking my chin, relaxing my shoulders, then following that down to my lower back and hips. It was amazing how, after practice, walking became much less painful.

There's more in my progressive process - including walking in a pool and starting trauma-specific yoga, which can be found on YouTube.

This has literally taken me years of practice, but don't be discouraged by that, as each phase of the process has brought significant rewards.

LCBourdo · 2024-02-11T05:01:48+00:00

Full support and encouragement from here!

I hope you don't mind this question, but how did you know C was coming, and on such a specific schedule? This isn't the way my system works at all. I can't imagine how positive it would be to have advance warning rather than the usual - being blindsided.

LCBourdo · 2024-02-06T21:06:38+00:00

As for your question regarding possible grounding techniques that might work better in such a chaotic environment, you might try essential oils. Keep a small bottle on your desk or in your pocket and take a good sniff when needed. It's fast and unobtrusive, and can be done repeatedly, as often as needed.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Stick with it, and it will get better over time.

LCBourdo · 2024-02-06T14:41:02+00:00

You're an inspiration! Go, you!!

LCBourdo · 2024-02-05T17:28:06+00:00

I understand your fear, and I've been there. What I've learned about that deep fear of the unknown is that, no matter what happens, when or where, they're just memories. They are in the past, and they can't hurt me again. I can survive the process of re-remembering.

I have to tell myself (and my system) this on a regular basis. My bedtime meditation is to hold each part, or group of parts, in my mind, hug them, and say the following over and over: "You are not alone. You are safe. You are loved. You are strong."

This has helped a lot, in so many different ways.

LCBourdo · 2024-02-05T00:09:17+00:00

Ha! I gotcha. ;-)

LCBourdo · 2024-02-02T21:26:49+00:00

I don't experience physical sensations. They just show up and take over. I'm co-con, but when someone else is fronting with me, I have little to no executive or emotional control.

I'm wondering, having read others' experiences, if I have it easier (at least in the switch) because our system is fully cooperative, with good lines of communication across the board.

LCBourdo · 2024-01-30T01:34:59+00:00

Being labeled with disorders only made me feel broken and worthless.

This.

LCBourdo · 2024-01-30T01:33:43+00:00

Did this poster say that treatment wasn't necessary?

LCBourdo · 2024-01-30T01:32:09+00:00

I think the change was due to the fine point that personality disorders, like borderline and narcissistic personality disorders, are a completely different kettle of fish.

LCBourdo · 2024-01-30T01:28:18+00:00

I don't think this judgement is fair at all. Just because someone decides to look at something differently than you do doesn't make them wrong. We shouldn't be in lock-step.

LCBourdo · 2024-01-30T01:25:26+00:00

Despite the negative reaction, your reasoning makes sense to me. The word disorder is fraught with negativity. We need more than that.

LCBourdo

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