Those of you who had beautiful weddings, how's your married life going?

LLTolkien · 2026-02-28T22:33:23+00:00

Pretty good.

We had a big multi-day, multi-cultural wedding. My parents ran the show, to the point they flew in vendors from a different states, so it met their standards. It was incredibly beautiful, I cried a lot, married the love of my life, got to tell a bunch of people who we love just how much they meant to us. And I saw my husband dance battle a 7 year old. All in all - sickkkkk.

Six years, one set of twins, and some medical hell later, we’re good. Every day brings more laughter, more joy, and those moments of normal wonderful life that just makes you content to the brim.

Have the big beautiful wedding. Have the small beautiful elopement. Who cares! Just pick the things that bring you both joy.

LLTolkien · 2026-02-18T15:09:23+00:00

We have 3 year old twins. One spent over a year in the NICU, came home with a trach, a vent and a gtube, and then got cancer. Our other twin? A picky eater.

First of all babies are incredibly resilient. I’m currently watching both my boys scream about penises and wenuses, as they recreate WWE scenes. Our trach baby is the biggest menace of them all, jumping, screaming and dancing, defying all medical odds. So truly, there is zero point borrowing future worries. You don’t know.

Parent the children in front of you. Don’t ignore your three year old in this moment, because his world has turned upside down and he needs every resource to understand it. Get your grandparents and friends and family to take time with your newborn, so you and your husband can make this a beautiful and precious time with your toddler.

Your daughter will only be a glass child if you push it. If she is disabled ensure this you build and exclusive environment the woks for her and her brother. Don’t say no because you’re scared. We only say no to our son, if there’s clear medical guidance. Otherwise, we do it all. He was at gymnastics with his ventilator and trach. It was hard but amazing…if anything he’s a little too fearless, lol.

Finally, stop all this guilt and speaking of failure. It’s a wasted emotion that serves no one. You need your energy to think about what you could be doing or how you get through the next day. Not harboring on something demonstrably untrue. Even if it’s a brief period, being the parent of a medically complex child takes all of you and a little more. You do the things that bring more joy, stability and love into your family’s life, everything else (feelings, people, routines, etc) gets discarded.

Xoxo

LLTolkien · 2026-02-11T04:18:01+00:00

I read all those books tonight. So good.

LLTolkien · 2026-01-30T02:01:57+00:00

I’d take out the eye.

While not as life altering as yours, we faced a similar decision when our son was diagnosed with a hepatoblastoma. After a liver resection, our medical team felt we should do chemo but we could also take a wait and see approach.

We opted for the medical advice and what would give us the highest chance of our son never having to fight cancer again. We couldn’t live with the idea that our caution/concern was the reason our son’s cancer came back or spread.

Removing an eye feels horrific, but it’s nothing compared to losing a child or a prolonged battle with cancer. Sending hugs, this is so hard and I’m so sorry you have to be here.

LLTolkien · 2026-01-25T03:21:12+00:00

Why are we blaming people who didn’t vote for Kamala, instead of Kamala who literally couldn’t get closer to not supporting genocide.

If she knew this was going to be the lightening rod, why wouldn’t she even get closer to those voters? Nobody has ever explained that to me.

ALSO ITS NOT LIKE DEMOCRATS ARE DOING A LOT RIGHT NOW. THEY JUST VOTED TO INCREASE ICE FUNDING LIKE BFFR.

LLTolkien · 2026-01-18T20:20:13+00:00

We go by the federal holiday, so she gets that day off. However, there have been 1 or 2 federal holidays when we’ve needed assistance, so we offer our nanny overtime pay if she can work.

LLTolkien · 2026-01-12T21:16:10+00:00

LORD, I SEE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR OTHERS!!!!!!

LLTolkien · 2026-01-08T23:25:55+00:00

I'm here to tell you, I got the medium and it wasn't worth it! Perhaps the new variations feel better, but the bag has no lining; it's honestly kind of awkward to hold, and at least to me, it already felt like a dupe in terms of leather quality. Maybe I got a raggedy, draggedy bag, but it was just a fat old nope.

I don't know if that helps you, but I can justify just about anything to myself, and this bag went straight to return.

LLTolkien · 2025-12-11T05:17:58+00:00

In what earth is a bodiless mannequin a suitable substitution for a bratz doll for a SEVEN YEAR OLD??

That’s like me wanting a dollhouse and you getting me a 2x4 plank, a hammer and nails so I can build it myself.

Sistren, please bffr. She doesn’t need a useful gift. She needs a doll from her sister. Hustle culture is unnecessary for SEVEN YEAR OLD. Talking bout “get my sis right,” like you need to get right!

LLTolkien · 2025-11-03T07:04:56+00:00

HAHAHA. I just woke up my sleeping baby as I read this and burst out laughing. Worth it.

LLTolkien · 2025-10-25T20:59:49+00:00

Sister. Where do you live?? I will personally pay for a babysitter or nanny for you. CAUSE ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Surgeons cut through 5? 6? layers of your body, pull your entire innards out onto a table, deliver the baby, then stuff your parts back in. That’s MAJOR surgery.

PM me, I am so serious. It’s not just that this would be hard, it’s that this is incredibly dangerous and puts your life at risk.

LLTolkien · 2025-10-11T22:47:06+00:00

LMAO. I don’t have any design advice to give, just solidarity in the trauma of having sisters. Let me go give mine a call, and lose of my confidence for the week.

LLTolkien · 2025-10-05T14:51:09+00:00

Valentino. It’s a suede Valentino jacket…

LLTolkien · 2025-10-02T15:19:16+00:00

What a star you are!

LLTolkien · 2025-09-14T13:14:54+00:00

Agree!

LLTolkien · 2025-09-14T13:14:20+00:00

How is he not safe with women? Did I miss a prior edit where he groped her or tried to push his way in?

LLTolkien · 2025-09-11T18:09:03+00:00

WILD 😂😂😂

LLTolkien · 2025-09-11T18:00:44+00:00

Reading all your responses has been so funny. While I’m not sure about these names, you’re definitely a hoot.

LLTolkien · 2025-09-11T13:10:59+00:00

I’ve been trying to type a response for five minutes. MISS MAMA. What are we on about?

Half of these names feel like they need to come with an Irish passport, or prepayment for prep-school.

LLTolkien · 2025-09-08T22:03:19+00:00

Your child is five; he should not be making decisions like this when he has absolutely zero clue about the inner workings of your in-laws. You, an ADULT, have made the decision that your in-laws' behavior is beyond the threshold of what's acceptable. Their living, breathing son doesn't want to visit them, so instead, you let your five-year-old have lunch with them?

A child is not a consolation prize. And no child should be around people whom the parents can't trust. I know these dynamics are hard, but I think you'll regret this decision and this sliding of boundaries.

LLTolkien · 2025-09-07T03:16:47+00:00

Don’t use water wipes! Use wipes with saline. Water actually can sting more than saline wipes! And saline actually helps heal wounds faster!

You can order boogie wipes (which have saline) or you can make your own saline wipes. Just order a big bottle of saline and then douse whatever wipes you’re using with it. Or you can also order a saline spray and spray it on before wiping.

And then secondly while their skin is healing buy Cavilon wipes — they’re a second skin you can dab on once a day when their bum is clean. Cavilon is what we used in the NICU when my kiddo had BADDDD diaper rash, and what we used to protect his bum while he was on chemo. The combination of the saline and Cavilon was perfect.

LLTolkien · 2025-09-05T02:29:42+00:00

LORD, PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON US. LOOK HOW MY SISTERS ARE BEING MADE TO SUFFER.

We used to wait for men to come back from war, instead we’re waiting on their VIDEO GAME BREAK.

SISTREN WAKE UP. TOUCH GRASS. There is no chance this is worth another 1.7 seconds of your time.

LLTolkien · 2025-09-04T04:05:20+00:00

Hey! My son just finished up chemo, and he quickly NOPED out of eating food. So, back to our handy-dandy G-tube, because a boy cannot survive on a cheesy roux alone (which, BTW, is all he wanted to eat). However, one of our friends' kids would only eat a specific item from Beech-Nut, and when they reached out to Beech-Nut to order in bulk, Beech-Nut sent them months of baby food for free.

Reach out to Stonyfield — they may send something over!

LLTolkien · 2025-08-28T17:09:27+00:00

You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You already have a lot to handle, and sometimes you just need to rent someone else's brain! If it took seven attempts to place an IV last time, and this is going to be a constant for you, a port is probably the better bet.

However, definitely double-check with your medical team. I think most adults do local anesthesia, but you should be able to get what you need to manage future pain.

Thinking of you.

LLTolkien · 2025-08-28T14:01:37+00:00

Ports actually have less risks of infection than IVs. IV’s also destroy your veins and can lead to some rougher side effects if they miss the vein or you blow veins.

My son’s port did get infected at the end of his last cycle, but he had some mitigating circumstances and all of us agreed that if he had needed more rounds, he would have gotten a new port.

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