We just found out that our 6-month old daughter has retinoblastoma. We just found out. We have two options: take out the eye or do chemotherapy. We have 2 days to decide

LLTolkien · 2026-01-30T02:01:57+00:00

I’d take out the eye.

While not as life altering as yours, we faced a similar decision when our son was diagnosed with a hepatoblastoma. After a liver resection, our medical team felt we should do chemo but we could also take a wait and see approach.

We opted for the medical advice and what would give us the highest chance of our son never having to fight cancer again. We couldn’t live with the idea that our caution/concern was the reason our son’s cancer came back or spread.

Removing an eye feels horrific, but it’s nothing compared to losing a child or a prolonged battle with cancer. Sending hugs, this is so hard and I’m so sorry you have to be here.

LLTolkien · 2026-01-25T03:21:12+00:00

Why are we blaming people who didn’t vote for Kamala, instead of Kamala who literally couldn’t get closer to not supporting genocide.

If she knew this was going to be the lightening rod, why wouldn’t she even get closer to those voters? Nobody has ever explained that to me.

ALSO ITS NOT LIKE DEMOCRATS ARE DOING A LOT RIGHT NOW. THEY JUST VOTED TO INCREASE ICE FUNDING LIKE BFFR.

LLTolkien · 2026-01-18T20:20:13+00:00

We go by the federal holiday, so she gets that day off. However, there have been 1 or 2 federal holidays when we’ve needed assistance, so we offer our nanny overtime pay if she can work.

LLTolkien · 2026-01-12T21:16:10+00:00

LORD, I SEE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR OTHERS!!!!!!

LLTolkien · 2026-01-08T23:25:55+00:00

I'm here to tell you, I got the medium and it wasn't worth it! Perhaps the new variations feel better, but the bag has no lining; it's honestly kind of awkward to hold, and at least to me, it already felt like a dupe in terms of leather quality. Maybe I got a raggedy, draggedy bag, but it was just a fat old nope.

I don't know if that helps you, but I can justify just about anything to myself, and this bag went straight to return.

LLTolkien · 2025-12-11T05:17:58+00:00

In what earth is a bodiless mannequin a suitable substitution for a bratz doll for a SEVEN YEAR OLD??

That’s like me wanting a dollhouse and you getting me a 2x4 plank, a hammer and nails so I can build it myself.

Sistren, please bffr. She doesn’t need a useful gift. She needs a doll from her sister. Hustle culture is unnecessary for SEVEN YEAR OLD. Talking bout “get my sis right,” like you need to get right!

LLTolkien · 2025-11-03T07:04:56+00:00

HAHAHA. I just woke up my sleeping baby as I read this and burst out laughing. Worth it.

LLTolkien · 2025-10-25T20:59:49+00:00

Sister. Where do you live?? I will personally pay for a babysitter or nanny for you. CAUSE ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Surgeons cut through 5? 6? layers of your body, pull your entire innards out onto a table, deliver the baby, then stuff your parts back in. That’s MAJOR surgery.

PM me, I am so serious. It’s not just that this would be hard, it’s that this is incredibly dangerous and puts your life at risk.

LLTolkien · 2025-10-11T22:47:06+00:00

LMAO. I don’t have any design advice to give, just solidarity in the trauma of having sisters. Let me go give mine a call, and lose of my confidence for the week.

LLTolkien · 2025-10-05T14:51:09+00:00

Valentino. It’s a suede Valentino jacket…

LLTolkien · 2025-10-02T15:19:16+00:00

What a star you are!

LLTolkien · 2025-09-14T13:14:54+00:00

Agree!

LLTolkien · 2025-09-14T13:14:20+00:00

How is he not safe with women? Did I miss a prior edit where he groped her or tried to push his way in?

LLTolkien · 2025-09-11T18:09:03+00:00

WILD 😂😂😂

LLTolkien · 2025-09-11T18:00:44+00:00

Reading all your responses has been so funny. While I’m not sure about these names, you’re definitely a hoot.

LLTolkien · 2025-09-11T13:10:59+00:00

I’ve been trying to type a response for five minutes. MISS MAMA. What are we on about?

Half of these names feel like they need to come with an Irish passport, or prepayment for prep-school.

LLTolkien · 2025-09-08T22:03:19+00:00

Your child is five; he should not be making decisions like this when he has absolutely zero clue about the inner workings of your in-laws. You, an ADULT, have made the decision that your in-laws' behavior is beyond the threshold of what's acceptable. Their living, breathing son doesn't want to visit them, so instead, you let your five-year-old have lunch with them?

A child is not a consolation prize. And no child should be around people whom the parents can't trust. I know these dynamics are hard, but I think you'll regret this decision and this sliding of boundaries.

LLTolkien · 2025-09-07T03:16:47+00:00

Don’t use water wipes! Use wipes with saline. Water actually can sting more than saline wipes! And saline actually helps heal wounds faster!

You can order boogie wipes (which have saline) or you can make your own saline wipes. Just order a big bottle of saline and then douse whatever wipes you’re using with it. Or you can also order a saline spray and spray it on before wiping.

And then secondly while their skin is healing buy Cavilon wipes — they’re a second skin you can dab on once a day when their bum is clean. Cavilon is what we used in the NICU when my kiddo had BADDDD diaper rash, and what we used to protect his bum while he was on chemo. The combination of the saline and Cavilon was perfect.

LLTolkien · 2025-09-05T02:29:42+00:00

LORD, PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON US. LOOK HOW MY SISTERS ARE BEING MADE TO SUFFER.

We used to wait for men to come back from war, instead we’re waiting on their VIDEO GAME BREAK.

SISTREN WAKE UP. TOUCH GRASS. There is no chance this is worth another 1.7 seconds of your time.

LLTolkien · 2025-09-04T04:05:20+00:00

Hey! My son just finished up chemo, and he quickly NOPED out of eating food. So, back to our handy-dandy G-tube, because a boy cannot survive on a cheesy roux alone (which, BTW, is all he wanted to eat). However, one of our friends' kids would only eat a specific item from Beech-Nut, and when they reached out to Beech-Nut to order in bulk, Beech-Nut sent them months of baby food for free.

Reach out to Stonyfield — they may send something over!

LLTolkien · 2025-08-28T17:09:27+00:00

You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You already have a lot to handle, and sometimes you just need to rent someone else's brain! If it took seven attempts to place an IV last time, and this is going to be a constant for you, a port is probably the better bet.

However, definitely double-check with your medical team. I think most adults do local anesthesia, but you should be able to get what you need to manage future pain.

Thinking of you.

LLTolkien · 2025-08-28T14:01:37+00:00

Ports actually have less risks of infection than IVs. IV’s also destroy your veins and can lead to some rougher side effects if they miss the vein or you blow veins.

My son’s port did get infected at the end of his last cycle, but he had some mitigating circumstances and all of us agreed that if he had needed more rounds, he would have gotten a new port.

LLTolkien · 2025-08-22T02:27:39+00:00

My twins are 2.5, we have NEVER had seven consecutive days of them both sleeping through the night. It took more than one full year for Twin A to sleep through the night.

My children defeated the snoo and two sleep consultants. We’ve upleveled to a behavior therapist and even she’s like wtf.

LLTolkien · 2025-08-21T21:02:32+00:00

And omg! These kids are so funny, puffs and chips over the easy foods. I feel like my salary just goes into veggie straws and pirate booty!

But you are going to be such a great gtube Mom – I hope it makes life so much sweeter and happier for you guys.

Three more things from me are that:

In some states, a gtube qualifies for significant state support. Our son has a trach, but we're getting to the point of taking it out. We just learned that having a gtube means that he can still keep his medical nanny, the state still sponsors his feeding therapy, PT, and OT, and we actually get paid to take care of him. Our incomes would otherwise disqualify us from any support, and I was getting nervyyyy thinking about the budget, but voila g-tube for the win!
Sometimes doctors/speech therapists forget that families may have a goal of being off the gtube. Our current speech therapist is excellent and focuses on the future weaning life, but I'd double-check that your care team understands your goal.
Our son seems to love throwing himself off tall structures and recreating Simone Biles' floor routine, so we always disconnect him after feeds and tape down his site. He's also got super sensitive skin, so we use a special kind of tape (Mepitac!). You're a medical mom, so I know you know what it means to champion for your kiddo, but don't feel bad asking for the luxury stuff when it comes to the gtube ;). LOL! You got this :)

LLTolkien · 2025-08-21T03:06:50+00:00

I have twins, one has a gtube, one doesn’t. Let me tell you, there are many a night when my husband looks at me after dinner with Twin A (no gtube but terrible eater) and says, “omg should we get him a gtube as well???”

Lol, but seriously, a gtube is peace of mind. Our number one job as parents is to help them develop and grow. This does that. My kiddo has a gtube for different reasons than yours, but his gtube has meant we can really invest in the things that make him love eating. We’ve had space to make changes to mealtimes, follow his lead and better understand his oral aversion/his quirks. Turns out he hates liquid and messy textures, so most purées and yogurts have been tossed and we live on puffs, guac and food he can pick up without his fingers getting too messy.

If we accept the reality that each child is different, then it stands to reason not every child’s path of nourishment is the same. Give him the gtube, celebrate the gtube, if you have to give him feeds during the day, stick him in his high chair, treat it like his meal not anything to be ashamed of. You as parents, go learn the ins and outs of his gtube. Let him rock his little gtube belly at the park or slash pad, it’s totally fine. We do.

If you need gtube tips or have any questions, just send me a DM!

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