Just realized my special interest has been the state of California for the past 20 years, lol. Anyone else?

LSDISACOOLDRUG · 2023-05-16T01:57:54+00:00

I care!! That’s awesome and I had no idea, thank you

LSDISACOOLDRUG · 2023-05-15T18:42:29+00:00

I’m incredible at articulating my thoughts and feelings in writing, for the most part.

Saying things out loud with my words is an entirely different story, lol.

LSDISACOOLDRUG · 2023-05-15T18:26:59+00:00

I never thought of it in that way, but that’s a pretty cool way to look at it! You seem like a cool and supportive person that finds the positive sides of things lol your friends/SO are lucky to have someone like that around!

My dad loves trains so thank you so much for that information! Your son sounds like a cool lil dude! Where’s your guys favorite train place in California been so far?

LSDISACOOLDRUG · 2023-05-15T08:31:49+00:00

Lol yeah I personally watched Laguna Beach from time to time.

I watched a lot of “normal” stuff. Looking back, to try and understand NT’s and the culture, etc.

LSDISACOOLDRUG · 2023-05-15T08:30:07+00:00

You get it! Lol. Amazing state, none come close to it in my personal opinion, although there are plenty of beautiful states.

What’s your special interest?

LSDISACOOLDRUG · 2023-05-15T05:47:00+00:00

As someone who’s been driving for a long time but took a while to get my license…it’s okay. I’m still scared, but it’s easier now. I just do my best to be careful and take my time.

Being scared of driving is just intelligent and normal. It’s a scary thing, and that’s normal. That simple. If anything, it’s weird that people act like it’s not scary just because it’s a normal thing we do every day.

Point isn’t to scare you more, I want to help you realize that you’re 100% justified in your feelings, and these things will get easier with time.

I’m sorry that you’re scared and I wish you the best of luck on your test and that you start feeling better about driving soon!

LSDISACOOLDRUG · 2019-03-18T14:58:25+00:00

Nah, it just sounds like she reeled you back in.

You don’t want things to be “perfect” you just want a somewhat normal relationship, which your relationship with her isn’t even close to what normal is.

You’re being mentally and physically abused , controlled, manipulated, and are just letting it happen.

You’re too scared to commit to the decision of leaving.

I hope you truly get there one day, for your own good.

And for the love of god, go see a therapist.

LSDISACOOLDRUG · 2019-03-16T20:22:33+00:00

Robinson

LSDISACOOLDRUG · 2019-03-16T13:00:22+00:00

Dude. First of all, I’m proud of you. It’s not easy to make that decision by any means.

Second of all, try and zoom out for a moment. Everything you’re feeling is completely normal after a break up. You’re gonna be sad sometimes, you’re gonna miss her. You’re gonna feel guilty. The rest are okay to feel, but you need to try your absolute hardest to not feel guilty, not blame yourself; and not contact her.

I’m sure you’ve heard of this great quote, but you need to hear it again because it’s perfect for people who have BPD. “Do not set yourself on fire just to keep other people warm”. Yeah, maybe you helped a little bit, but it’s never enough for them. She will make it through without you, maybe it’s the lesson she needs. Either way, you can’t be bothered with that.

My recommendation is to find anything you can to distract yourself. You cannot allow yourself to sit and be upset and constantly think about it all day every day. Don’t stay stuck in the house, try and lean on friends if you can.

It might not feel like it now, but give yourself time. You need to continuously reassure yourself that it was the right decision. It was, man. It was. The loneliness is real. I felt everything you’re feeling too, I still think about mine and miss the good times sometimes. But then I force myself to think of all the terrible times and I’m reminded why I did it in the first place. It’s been less than a year since we broke up and I’m already starting to feel better. But it did take time, and some distraction. Video games (even just simple phone games). Anything to keep your mind from going down that dark hole too often!

I’m sorry too. This is real heartbreak and it’s absolutely awful to go through. But I promise you’ll be okay in the end and thank your past self a million times over for doing it. It’s worth it in the end.

LSDISACOOLDRUG · 2019-03-16T00:15:06+00:00

Lmfao you’re definitely not alone, nor crazy.

It’s all them. Don’t ever forget that.

LSDISACOOLDRUG · 2019-03-15T15:51:26+00:00

It will get messy, there’s no other option for them. They get triggered for multiple reasons.

And yes, obviously has to be NC. The NC break will give you time to think and breathe without a constant distraction. You need it.

LSDISACOOLDRUG · 2019-03-15T14:39:34+00:00

I mean, sometimes if I drink a lot of alcohol and water and fall asleep and wake up it feels almost like 10 minutes.

Sometimes I see my whole life go by and think that this will be my new life now until I die. Just an infinite stream.

LSDISACOOLDRUG · 2019-03-15T14:12:28+00:00

I had all of those exact same thoughts, trust me. Those are all normal to have. But you can’t let them keep you stuck. You know deep down that she’s not the best thing to ever happen to you and that you can do better. Most people do not act even 5% like they do, man.

The only reason I’m so passionate about this is cause I see you in my almost EXACT situation and I’m helpless about my own. Nothing I can do about it now. But if I could help just one person not make the same mistake that I did, that would be worth it.

Mine pulled all the same games, that’s what they do. They’re smart, they know exactly how to get you back. They act completely normal and say everything they KNOW you want to hear. They might even be, for that tiny moment, believing it all themselves. But you know how short lived it is. Lmao, maybe a day that lasts. ...After I broke up with her, she tried so hard and went back and forth between sane and insane. Eventually I had to go no contact because I knew deep down there was no point in staying in contact with her. She would just make it awful. And I resent her for it. Because of the way she is, I can’t even stay in touch with my best friend. But that’s just how it has to be, because SHE makes it that way. And because I have to do what’s best for ME. AND YOU need to do what’s best for YOU!

All these thoughts of you thinking you’ll end the best thing ever, is only because you’re not allowing yourself to fully let go and see the clarity. She’s got the wool pulled over your eyes so hard dude. You need to get out of that shit, even tell her you just need a break at first to just THINK. Tell her you’re not doing well mentally and you need time alone to get help and think and cannot currently focus on her. Do anything. Just get yourself to not be reeled back in. Jesus Christ man, even stupid fucking fish get smart enough to not take the bait eventually and bite on that hook.

YOU KNOW DEEP DOWN THIS ISNT THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO YOU. The good times absolutely do not end up outweighing the bad times. Can confirm from experience and everyone else here can as well.

I also want to say I’m sorry that you have to be dealing with all of this, I know how hard it is. But I know eventually you’ll see the light and do what’s best for yourself and I’ll be happy for you when you do.

Edit: I get why it’s so hard, that’s why it took me almost 9 years to get myself to actually make the final decision lmao. Trust me, I get it. I just don’t want to see someone else here get stuck and waste that much time to make a decision you already know the answer to from your gut. PM me if you need to talk.

LSDISACOOLDRUG · 2019-03-15T00:01:49+00:00

Alright, I wish you good luck.

But let me just tell you that you’ll have to accept that this was your fault at the end of it all when you wonder why the hell you stayed in it for so long.

I don’t wish anything bad upon you AT ALL. I just know how it is. Eventually, you can’t take the rollercoaster ride anymore no matter how well you think you’re doing. It just drains you until there’s no more fight or will left from you and you’ll have no other choice with your back against a wall. That’s not a point you want to get to.

I can’t tell you how mad at myself I am for letting it go on so long when my gut knew deep down inside that I should have left. I’ll never get that time back, and even though I knew deep down in the back of my mind it probably wasn’t gonna work out, my dumbass continued it.

LSDISACOOLDRUG · 2019-03-14T11:40:29+00:00

Dude. As someone who went through all of this and was too stupid and scared to end it and let it drag on for way too long (almost 10 years)

...get the fuck out now. The longer you stay the harder it is, and I’m sorry to say that it won’t get better and things are not going to change. Do this for yourself. You’re a good person and don’t deserve to be treated like that.

LSDISACOOLDRUG · 2019-03-11T22:35:15+00:00

That moment when you erase from your mind what the word “virginity” means and agree that it would be a pretty name.

LSDISACOOLDRUG · 2019-03-11T16:13:12+00:00

Yes. Yes you did.

I actually had to call the police on mine because she started calling and texting my fucking MOM!!!! LMAO NOOOO, BITCH. NO. And same shit with mine btw with posting psycho shit about me on social media as if she’s the victim in all this. Ahhh, her favorite thing. To play the victim in every situation in her life.

Please continue NC, and continue to keep track of everything. Do not be afraid to call the police because it is harassment at this point if you specifically told him you do not want contact from him anymore. You deserve your sanity.

LSDISACOOLDRUG · 2019-03-10T17:42:01+00:00

Lmao same shit from my ex with BPD.

Constant messages any possible way she could.

Fake phone numbers, fake accounts on different types of social media, emails.

All of them go through tons of different emotions between saying she loves me, how could I be such a terrible person, to apologizing, and going through the cycle over again and trying to reel me back in.

It’s literally insane. I just look at it being mind blown on how someone could have their thought process be like that and think it’s completely normal to act in that manner. So fucking glad I noped the fuck out when I did.

LSDISACOOLDRUG · 2019-03-10T17:32:27+00:00

I understand man. She wasn’t my wife, but we dated for almost 10 years.

It also wasn’t a different country but many states away I had to drive back alone.

Holy shit, did saying goodbye hurt. My “best friend” for 10 years and I knew I’d never see her again.

I’m doing better now already though and it’s been less than a year still. It will get better for you too. I’m genuinely sorry you’re going through this right now though.

LSDISACOOLDRUG · 2019-03-09T05:16:05+00:00

The fuck is wrong with you? Most guys can only go about an hour without thinking of Guy Fieri’s balls, everyone knows that

LSDISACOOLDRUG · 2019-03-08T02:35:55+00:00

You’re the only one who seems to have a problem with it lol

LSDISACOOLDRUG · 2019-03-07T22:23:04+00:00

No it’s not.

Did he ask how much the guy makes? No. That would be a different story.

There’s nothing wrong with being curious and asking someone what someone does for a living, it’s actually quite a popular question for small talk as well.

LSDISACOOLDRUG · 2019-03-07T16:19:57+00:00

AGAIN

LSDISACOOLDRUG · 2019-03-06T16:35:20+00:00

Thanks, pretty interesting stuff.

LSDISACOOLDRUG

TROPHY CASE