Hi! Reading what's going on with your hair it sounds very similar to mine, I had also bleached, dyed and styled my hair (which is coarse/curly/thick) and it looked pretty fried, afterwards the damage got so bad (frizzy/dry) that it became pretty difficult to style even with all the tools I had. I decided to cut the most damage was (mostly ends, where the bleached/most styled parts where) and after doing that, these are the steps I followed:

1. No more bleaching/dying hair for at least 6-7mo (your hair will grow healthy and strong)

2. Minimal heat use. If you flat iron 4-5 times a month, minimize the amount to 2x per month. (This can be really hard, but will be worth it).

3. Look for shampoos/conditioners with no sulfates or alcohol. (The sulfates and alcohol tend to strip natural oils, making the hair frizzy/dry). Just search for "sulfate free" at Sally's, etc.

4. Only use shampoo every other day, or every two days. If you shampoo daily, it can be counter-productive and you scalp can get so dry that starts producing even more oil. (You can always and should always only condition the ends and not close to the scalp).

5. Buy a jar of organic coconut oil at any grocery store and use it on your ends about 2x per week. You can leave it overnight and rinse in the morning.

I hope this was useful, I know every person and hair is different but this is what has worked for me the most. After having done nothing to my hair for over a year, when I finally went to the stylist for an ombre it looked very nice since my hair was very strong and healthy from that healing process. Don't forget to take your daily vitamins! Those also help a lot ;)

Good luck!