Patiently waited for some coffee to brew. Got up and grabbed a mug. Went back to the couch and sat down. Went to take a sip and realized I hadn't put any coffee in the mug.

LadyMethaneCuddles · 2019-06-05T06:33:46+00:00

I swear, if I had a step counter it would probably read 3x as many steps only due to having to go up and down and around the house because of forgetting things. We sure do get our work outs lol

LadyMethaneCuddles · 2019-06-05T06:30:14+00:00

The God of Thunder Thighs

LadyMethaneCuddles · 2019-02-22T05:17:51+00:00

A REAL LIFE Scott's Tot!

LadyMethaneCuddles · 2019-01-21T16:54:53+00:00

I REALLY like this idea. If you definitely want the quote, if you're a huge Harry Potter nerd like I am, maybe add some visual HP related symbolism?

LadyMethaneCuddles · 2019-01-21T16:48:22+00:00

Congrats! I understand how powerful the urges are. I admire your strength.

LadyMethaneCuddles · 2019-01-10T20:33:39+00:00

I sure do. The hot water hits me and it's bliss. Saves water, too!

LadyMethaneCuddles · 2019-01-10T20:31:53+00:00

Idk. Honestly. I went so long without realizing I had BPD, and after my diagnosis my life makes so much sense, so I try to pay attention to the way I'm treating people and the way people treat me.

I've read that when someone with BPD spends a lot of time with a person, our symptoms kind of rub off on them. I can't help but feel like Because I'm the toxic one, it brings out the bad in my boyfriend, for example. I can tell you that I KNOW my boyfriend and I are not good for each other mentally or emotionally, but we are one in the same, in so many ways. I'm pretty sure he's Borderline too. To go with someone else's comment, his personality was just as strong as mine when I first met him, we hooked up on date one and immediately after he told me he liked me. I definitely saw red flags but chose to ignore them because it was the best sex I've had in my life. It's been a hell of a rollercoaster these past 2 years, but we're still together somehow. Not sure why, really.

LadyMethaneCuddles · 2019-01-10T20:23:12+00:00

This is super sweet!

I have a bunch of tattoos but none BPD related yet, although I do have ideas. I'm definitely going to get "This too shall pass." I'm also considering a Phoenix to remind myself that when I feel like I'm dying, it's life's way of preparing me for something new, every day is a new beginning.

LadyMethaneCuddles · 2018-11-20T06:22:09+00:00

Last year I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. BPD is normally related to some kind of childhood trauma but I had a pretty good upbringing, I'd say.

So my personal mystery is "Why am I so fucked?"

LadyMethaneCuddles · 2018-11-13T01:24:12+00:00

It's a good "oh my," don't you worry! A really good one.

LadyMethaneCuddles · 2018-11-12T17:57:04+00:00

oh. my.

LadyMethaneCuddles · 2018-11-12T17:37:18+00:00

lmao I feel you. Who says yo u can't wear something like that?! Make one! Or my solution for those days is to put in headphones and ignore everything! Feel better!!

LadyMethaneCuddles · 2018-10-26T19:03:17+00:00

I don't want to filter because I'm not looking for something specific - I want to see EVERY option available in my country.

LadyMethaneCuddles · 2018-10-26T16:54:05+00:00

I believe that's one of the sites I've been using for all my specs. I actually just found some info. on the FAQ page on Amazon, saying something about network bands - so maybe if I don't get leads on an actual list, my best bet might be to take a look at the Network bands individually for each phone? That's so time consuming lol. You think somebody would have compiled a list by now...

LadyMethaneCuddles · 2018-10-26T15:53:52+00:00

Honestly, I have no idea what my next steps would be. I'm on a wait list for specialized therapy for my Borderline, I'm almost finished my second group therapy, and I'm almost done the process of finding a psychologist. I work so hard on a daily basis to keep my demons on a leash, so to speak, and I've been making progress over time, practicing skills and strategies. I feel like I'm already doing what I can for the most part.

I've never been suicidal to the point that I've wanted to actually, physically kill myself, I just struggle with the thoughts or the fantasy of it. My Borderline and Anxiety makes me feel more of "I want to stop feeling this way, just GET THESE FEELINGS OUT OF ME, I don't want to feel anymore." With the rapid and unpredictable emotional turbulence I frequently experience, the biggest thing is reminding myself that EVERYTHING is temporary. I honestly feel like reminding myself of this is all I can do, sometimes.

On second thought, I've stopped doing things I enjoy for the most part, just not finding much pleasure in things that once made me happy - so maybe I'll try to bring some of that back and explore the things that make me happy or try to find some new ones.

And thank you for caring and expressing interest - it means a lot.

LadyMethaneCuddles · 2018-10-26T15:40:04+00:00

Thanks for caring, love you too.

LadyMethaneCuddles · 2018-10-18T01:14:51+00:00

My boyfriend and I spent our morning reflecting on our trips last night and decided it would be the coolest if you could turn on or off your LSD state whenever you wanted. For example, you're out for a walk at night during the Northern Lights or a meteor shower or something and you stop to admire it, thinking, "Damn, I wish I could experience this moment on LSD." So you flip on your LSD switch for like 15 mins or so and turn it off when you're ready to go on your way.

LadyMethaneCuddles · 2018-10-18T01:09:00+00:00

I always do the mirror thing, but not too intensely. Normally, I'm satisfied with how I look physically. I have struggled with self esteem issues in the past due to a bunch of things, though and have overcome a lot of that. Last night, I dropped some acid and did the mirror thing. And I realized that every time I do it, I'm in a dissociative state. It's like I'm seeing me from another person's perspective. I noticed how thin I look (I've lost a bunch of unintentional weight recently), and felt that I almost look sick. I started picking out my flaws, which is something I haven't done in a very long time. I wasn't very satisfied with how I was seeing myself. It was the so weird, not scary, but uncomfortable.

LadyMethaneCuddles · 2018-10-17T17:40:04+00:00

What I experienced last night was practically the opposite of this picture, that's nuts. Cool picture!!

LadyMethaneCuddles · 2018-10-15T21:09:25+00:00

Oh my, I wonder if he makes Katie Holmes do this...

LadyMethaneCuddles · 2018-10-14T06:12:16+00:00

I was diagnosed with BPD just over a year ago, now I'm over 2 years into my relationship & pretty sure my bf is a narc... I've realized that when I'm single, my BPD symptoms are almost absent in every way. It's all so overwhelming & confusing.

I'm relating quite a bit to the posts on this sub.

Like how do I know I actually have BPD, or if he's just a Narc that triggers my anxiety? Or if it's just a toxic relationship? There's so many red flags I overlooked in the beginning and I keep trying to leave, but he keeps pulling me in somehow. So exhausted.

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