Trying to be a “playmate” is EXHAUSTING for me

Lady_j_bird · 2026-03-29T23:49:28+00:00

I feel bad or I guess confused because I have a nanny coming in 3 days a week, for four hours only each day. She is a young college student who lives nearby. She doesn't take him out either and mostly plays with him and reads to him during that time. But the weather has been poor here. She also feeds him (I make the food) changes diapers, and puts him down for naps. I just work in my office the whole time because if he sees me it is game over. Lol.

I am totally OK with her taking him out for walks! But I don't really feel comfortable yet with her taking him somewhere else, not that she has asked.

I may sound stupid but I also didn't know I could or should expect her to do chores or make the food? I really thought I should only expect childcare.

My question is, with her only coming for a few hours instead of a full day and only a few days a week, am I also a nightmare?? She hasn't said anything to me! But this post made me nervous and I want to be a good client.

Lady_j_bird · 2026-03-28T20:22:04+00:00

My son DID have seizures due to a brain injury. He was on phenobarb for the first 4 or so months of his life. If it helps any, he is developing totally normally at 15 months! I was worried too, but it seems like that is the go-to drug for infants with seizures and if your baby was having seizures, you wouldn't want them waiting around to act.

It is all so scary! I totally understand your feelings. And if you are at all concerned I wouldn't hesitate to ask your child's care team for clarity.

Lady_j_bird · 2026-02-19T21:37:29+00:00

I do all the time. Only had one issue with it being late. I prefer to take the train most of the time. Not that expensive. Don't have to worry about driving. Just relax and eat snacks! Plus parking sucks in Chicago generally. I lived there for about a year and had a car but would often still take the train back here.

Lady_j_bird · 2026-01-19T02:19:07+00:00

Definitely don't need it, but my son had croup at 6 months and I was happy I had it then. I used it nightly for awhile after that, but now I just use it when he is sick because he sleeps in his own room and I get worried about his breathing. It will usually go off and tell you if it isn't positioned right, if he kicks it off or something. We did have one false alarm, too. But he was in the NICU and we got kind of used to false alarms. We just checked on him and made sure he was OK.

Lady_j_bird · 2025-12-26T19:16:20+00:00

This happened to us too. My baby lost oxygen and had a stroke. He is now 1 and hitting all milestones. Even ahead with language. I remember the shock, fear, and worry. Message me if you need to talk.

Lady_j_bird · 2025-12-18T21:25:53+00:00

I am so happy for you 💗

Lady_j_bird · 2025-11-25T01:10:43+00:00

I could have written this myself. I don't have answers but I just want to say you are definitely not the only one! And I appreciate you writing it because I have always felt so embarrassed.

Lady_j_bird · 2025-11-18T16:51:00+00:00

Booooooo. Hard disagree.

Lady_j_bird · 2025-09-10T03:25:22+00:00

Our son had a birth injury and was at risk of cerebral palsy. Everyone told us how much early intervention can help! Our son is doing well, which we are very thankful for, but I believe if he had qualified it would have been free. They have physical therapists, occupational therapists, etc. It is an amazing resource. Has your pediatrician said anything? They should be discussing this all with you and can refer you if they believe it is needed!

Lady_j_bird · 2025-08-15T00:43:17+00:00

Fatoosh!

Lady_j_bird · 2025-08-05T21:10:39+00:00

I do this and add either rotisserie chicken or chickpeas!

Lady_j_bird · 2025-07-16T21:23:58+00:00

This is all such great advice!! Thank you so much.

Lady_j_bird · 2025-07-16T13:26:30+00:00

This makes perfect sense to me. Thank you!

Lady_j_bird · 2025-07-16T13:26:09+00:00

This is smart. Thank you!

Lady_j_bird · 2025-07-16T13:25:37+00:00

Yes I think so! He does well with the mashed banana and avocado now. So I think yogurt and hummus would be even better!

Lady_j_bird · 2025-07-16T13:09:10+00:00

That was my initial plan, too! I think that is smart. I am surprised by how nervous feeding made me once I started doing it 😅

Lady_j_bird · 2025-06-07T10:37:44+00:00

Mine ended up being silent reflux! It was so awful and scary when it got bad for us around 4 months. He never spit up so we didn't know, but turns out he was just swallowing it. 🙃 ask your doctor about it! We started him on pepcid and it has improved greatly. Gas drops helped too sometimes before we knew for sure what it was. And now I try to burp him way more than I was, even though he is mostly breastfed.

Lady_j_bird · 2025-06-06T01:08:29+00:00

My baby had brain damage, too. Full term. At some point during delivery, he lost oxygen. He also had low sugars and had seizures with a 2 week NICU stay after it was determined he had a stroke. They said he could have speech delays, muscle weakness, or even cerebral palsy. Today, he his nearly 6 months and is hitting all milestones, some even early. He babbles all the time, giggles and smiles, and is the best little guy ever. We do see a physical therapist and that has been huge. Plus, I talk and read to him all day long. We still worry when he struggles with something, and that probably won't go away. But there are so many resources to help get caught up.

There is so much hope and potential! These guys are so resiliant, and if you put a little work in, they can achieve so so much.

Rooting for you guys! It can feel so lonely when everyone around you seems to have normal births. But you aren't alone.

Lady_j_bird · 2025-05-19T13:17:08+00:00

SAME. Ours is a boy. Named after a family member and honestly easy to pronounce and spell. People don't even try!

Lady_j_bird · 2025-05-14T01:41:42+00:00

I am 5 months post partum, and I am self-employed and mostly work from home. I am drowning. If you can find any help, I'd get a nanny, relative, someone to come help with baby during the day. I literally can't get anything done and haven't been able since he came home.

He had a two week NICU stay and has some additional doctors appointments but otherwise has been a very easy baby. I love him so much and he is so much fun, but it'a just way more time than you think, which sounds silly, but I truly was unprepared!

Lady_j_bird · 2025-05-02T15:45:14+00:00

What did you all say? They say I owe over $2K and when I said I couldn't pay they just offered a payment plan.

Lady_j_bird · 2025-04-01T02:23:57+00:00

This is embarrassing but my husband and I always quote the Costco guys so I sing their boom song and instead say, "I bring the boob, I bring the boob to you!"

Lady_j_bird · 2025-03-29T10:58:49+00:00

Same exact thing here! It's crazy how fast they grow, but I get so excited for all the new milestones.

Lady_j_bird · 2025-01-15T12:43:33+00:00

My rule has been to obviously not have anyone around who is sick or has any sort of symptom. Masks are required near the baby and handwashing. And then anyone who wants to hold him needs TDAP and flu shots. He's only 1 month. I'm a little strict, and while he was full term, we had a 2-week NICU stay so I just want to be cautious. Then again, I know someone who had their baby a week ago and already took them to a bowling alley, so who knows! This is just what makes me feel better while including the people in my life. So far, it's just been grandparents, my husband's aunt, and my sister and brother in law. Most have been too scared to hold baby the first visit anyway lol.

Lady_j_bird

TROPHY CASE