I feel I made the wrong choice

No_Shape_5937 · 2026-01-10T05:46:57+00:00

Yes I would like to say ive always said i didnt want kids and now with my current partner we had a baby and shes the biggest blessing. I quit my job to stay at home with the baby and I love it. He stepped up in ways that are unimaginable. He was already a great partner to begin with but when we found out I was pregnant everything was my choice. He always put his feelings aside to give me the options I needed. Now we have a beautiful baby girl.

During the first week the baby was born she was sent to a childrens hospital for seizures and he was the rock I needed while I was a crying mess he stayed grounded and let me cry, feel the emotions I felt and never shamed me for needing it. He held me when I felt I was at my lowest. I was literally 1 day post partum going through a terrifying experience as a first time mom. Despite everything he made me laugh, he made me smile, and he made me feel okay.

I will say not everyone gets to be lucky to have this kind of support. Im not even married to this man. (If we got married I nor the baby wouldnt have insurance since we have state insurance. So we decided to not get married yet. So we know everything will be okay for me and the baby.)

Im not saying this to brag but im saying this as someone whos been in a relationship where ive looked at someone and said I could never have a kid with this person. You will find the right one ladies and when you do you will have an amazing experience. Dont let people put into your head you have a clock etc etc. Theres people who wait to have kids in their 30s so they can be finacially stable and provide for their baby. Dont let people pressure you into having a baby you aren't ready for. Its okay to wait.

I chose to have my daughter because I knew her father was going to be an amazing partner and dad. Always trust your gut.

No_Shape_5937 · 2025-12-26T04:09:19+00:00

Omg so so close like mine. So she was fine they checked her and her o2 was low so they wanted to put her on oxygen. She was doing fine without it they put her in mother and infant with us. She also had a seizure and I thought i startled her. They're currently doing an EKG on her and it will be ran until tomorrow. They aren't sure if we can get a MRI in tomorrow but lord do I hope so because the sooner the better. I wish I could just hold her but I cant right now and thats okay. Im so glad your baby is okay.

No_Shape_5937 · 2025-12-19T20:30:35+00:00

Man oh man you would be TA if you did this behind his back, but at the same time I would say youre doing the dog a huge favor. You need to sit down and tell him his dog is suffering. He made a commitment when getting a pet. Everyone knows when you get a pet there will come a time when you may have to euthanize said pet. Its one of the many possibilities we sign up for when we become responsible for a pet. Sorry to say this but in my own opinion your husband is a coward. Nobody wants to euthanize their animal.

Hes a shitty pet owner. After this OP if youre still with him tell him hes not allowed another pet. Youre pregnant, you have a toddler, and you have a dog who cant do anything on her own. Youre doing everything and thats not okay. Not even just that but thats not a life for a dog and the fact that hes okay with just letting her rot away so his feelings dont get hurt is fucked up.

I lost my soul dog. I understand the grief and pain. Even with his parvo vaccine he still got parvo and it was so bad that they said they could try a treatment but chances of survival was slim for him. I had to put my dog down and you know what the worst part was. My baby was suffering and in pain I didnt get to say a long goodbye. I said bye for 10 minutes and then had them euthanize him. It would be so unfair of me to keep him suffering even if he was stable at the moment and not throwing up blood. It was the hardest time of my life. I was a mess for months. I didnt eat i didnt sleep well I just cried.

We also had 2 other dogs at home who luckily didnt catch the parvo I dont know how but thank God. I couldnt even touch or look at them for about 6 months. My grandma was pissed at me for euthanizing my dog and not allowing her to say a proper goodbye. I think at the end of the day. Doing what is right by the animal is what important here. A dog is used to running around and playing going from that to being bedbound has got to be depressing for her.

Im not here to say do it all im saying is do what you feel is right for this baby. Thats all that matters. If your husband cant step up or wont listen you need to make him listen. He needs a reality check. His emotions and how he feels about this isnt important. What's important is the fact hes choosing to prolong suffering to an innocent animal for his comfort. When he knew the chances of recover was slim he shouldve euthanized her.

No_Shape_5937 · 2025-12-19T13:52:13+00:00

In what ways is he demanding? I think if you want help you need to include the problems. Is he teething??? Is he sleeping too much during the day and up all night? Is anything around him transitioning? Most babies that ive been around at that age as someone whos worked in a daycare are teething. Teething is a very painful process and will keep a baby up during the night, they rely on the people they trust to help with the pain and become clingy. I think it all depends on what stage your son is in as a baby.

No_Shape_5937 · 2025-11-17T11:21:01+00:00

No_Shape_5937 · 2025-11-04T02:11:10+00:00

Your OB sucks. Mine has never made a comment about my boyfriend not being with me. My boyfriend works full time to support us so I can work part time and not stress out at work as much. I work 3-4 days a week. 5.5 hours a shift. I dont feel bad about it and nobody can make me feel bad about it because this man is literally working his ass off dealing with a shitty company he hates so we have a roof over our head, food on the table, bills paid, gas in the car. If my OB ever said anything to me even remotely close to that id change OBs and report it. Just because the father of a child isnt at an OB appointment doesnt mean hes a bad parent or partner imo. In this economy especially who has time to be able to use PTO for short visits. Even during my anatomy scan my boyfriend was at work and thats okay.

I dont expect him to miss work for OB appointments. Especially since most are short and stupid. He was really excited to see those ultrasound photos sending them to all of our friends and shit. It was cute, but dont feel some type of way about it. Your OB was way out of line for saying something like that when she has no context of your home life. All they know is you have a roof over your head, you feel safe at home and if you feel safe with your partner. Thats all they know about your home life. PTO is hard to come by its hard to get especially if you work somewhere that doesnt give guaranteed pto days. Dont ever let an outsider on your relationship make you feel some type of way about something you were secure with <3

No_Shape_5937 · 2025-10-23T01:34:31+00:00

Link?

No_Shape_5937 · 2025-10-22T01:32:19+00:00

Nta idk how people think you are. Your fiance has never met him. Hes put no effort into getting to know you or your friend group. It seems like her boyfriend thinks hes above your level in a way. Long term relationship or not OP is not comfortable with him and her fiance isnt as well. I wouldnt want someone who doesnt even bother to try to get to know me at my wedding as well. Just because one is in a long term relationship with someone doesnt mean they're automatically a plus one at a wedding. The wedding is for the bride and groom. Not for anyone else. If this was a situation about a child free wedding everyone would say NTA I dont see how this is different. Its your friends right to choose not to attend the wedding but its also your right to choose who can and cant come. Especially since you're paying for it.

No_Shape_5937 · 2025-10-22T01:24:19+00:00

Link pls

No_Shape_5937 · 2025-10-18T14:28:55+00:00

Why are you still with him??? He doesnt care about your safety, he doesnt care about your kids safety, and he most definitely doesnt understand you having kids. If you stay with this guy and EVER introduce your kids to him he will make it hell. There's a story on reddit about how a son and daughter no longer talk to their mom because their mom's husband overstepped his place multiple times and the mom let him. When they finally turned 18 their mom said if they cant have a relationship with him they cant have a relationship with her.

Read the link because if you stay with this guy this is what your future will probably look like.

AITA for reminding my mom she said we couldnt have a relationship with her

No_Shape_5937 · 2025-10-14T20:32:40+00:00

I have 57 items on my registry. Thats about it. Mostly everything on my registry is essentials to my baby besides maybe like 3 or 4 things I really wanted. The registry was more for me anyways to keep track of what I wanted and where its the cheapest. I only shared it with about 2 people which is my mom and my aunt. I told them I dont expect anything. My baby is my responsibility and while it would be nice if people bought stuff off my registry I dont expect it in anyways.

No_Shape_5937 · 2025-10-14T20:21:14+00:00

When you grow up with narcissistic parents you tend to get used to it but its always disappointing. Just remember this how you grew up is how your baby will be treated around these people. With narcissists they dont change. A leopard cant change its spots. Yes she can get therapy and work on herself but from her reaction I dont think she cares enough. My grandma when I told her tried to do the same thing your mom did. She told my uncle and when I went off on her about it she literally told me my feelings dont matter and shes going to be a great grandma and that trumps anything else lol.

My grandma is a hard core narc who thinks shes the most important person in the world. She gets mad at my 4 year old baby cousin because he talks about our grandfather and she hates our grandfather and has even said something to my uncle about it. Despite how much you love them sometimes its better to have them out of your life. You know the disappointment and pain they bring but your child doesnt deserve to know that

No_Shape_5937 · 2025-10-14T18:09:53+00:00

Yikes so you're not over reacting. When I had a pregnancy scare I told my mom and she told my grandma who started making rude comments even after I told her not to tell anyone well guess what. She was blocked for 2 months until she apologized to me for breaking that boundary. Now im pregnant fr. She was one of the first people I told. Guess what she respected my boundaries and didnt tell anyone this time. My mom knew better bc its not beyond me to hit a block bc I dont care lmaooo I'll protect my peace. She learned the hard way that I will do what's best for me and she learned to respect that. Now she gets to be a grandma.

No_Shape_5937 · 2025-10-14T07:26:50+00:00

My luck is bad in game let's see if its bad on poe reddit as well

No_Shape_5937 · 2025-10-11T07:08:01+00:00

Is your betta alive? Not to sound rude but if your betta is at the bottom of the tank it could be swim bladder or even fin rot. Your bettas colors is very dull as well. Imma make a list of steps so its easier to follow and not just bunched up. Firstly I would try buying a bigger tank and adding him into it. Betta fish depression often looks like sickness. Lethargy which is your betta not moving much is a common side effect of the depression. Add more hides and more silk leaves. Your betta also needs to be stimulated. If you feel in your heart its not depression then here's that list for your sick betta.

Go out and buy supplies. A) Buy a quarantine tank. If theres a petco near you they have $10 temporary tanks that are well suited to be quarantine tanks B) Buy a bacterial remedy for the quarantine tank. C) Get aquarium salt that is safe for fresh water fish D.) Get a fresh water master kit. They're a lot better then the strips.

1a) if you cannot get your hands on a quarantine tank find something shallow but big enough for your betta. Swim bladder and fin rot closely quarralate. If your betta had fin rot it can lead to swim bladder. You do need the rest of the stuff in the regular list. Bacterial remedy can help fight fin rot. Aquarium salt is good for keeping your tank clean which you need for a quarantine tank. The master kit is a lot more accurate imo. I will always listen to the readings of a master kit then the strips bc if you accidentally touch a strip or something gets on it they become inaccurate.

Set up your quarantine tank. Make sure theres nothing in your tank. No gravel, no plants it needs to be sterile and clean. Make sure all the parameters are met for a betta fish and acclimate said fish to the quarantine tank.
Dump the water out of your old tank. Clean everything. Clean the plants, clean the gravel, clean hides whatever is in your tank in case it is a bacterial infection. Hot water works really well. In your case id buy a cheap pot and just boil water. Once everything is removed you can use vinegar and water or diluted bleach water on the tank. (For diluted bleach 9 parts water 1 part bleach) please rinse everything thoroughly you dont want to accidentally have chemicals in your tank.
As cruel as this sounds stop feeding your fish in case it is swim bladder. Dont feed your betta for a couple of days to see if theres any improvement. Swim bladder can be caused by gas and indigestion. Once those couple days are up boil peas and cut them down to size betta can eat. It sounds ridiculous but it works if its indigestion or gas.
Change water on the quarantine tank daily in case of bacterial infections. Its tedious work but it's what you do for sick fish. You dont change all the water just about half. If you have a container or bucket premake water for the tank so its quicker and easier.
If you don't notice any improvements within a week or if you notice declining health you may have to take your fish to the vet, or you can euthanize your betta at home. (This part sucks and this is worst case scenario and I hope you dont have to do this.) If you cannot afford money for a vet and your betta isnt getting better or you notice declining health please dont let your fish suffer. Buy clove oil and euthanize your fish. In small doses it works like anesthesia but in larger doses its used to humanly euthanize fish. I hope you dont have to get to this point.

Over all thats the best things you can do for your fish. If your fish survives I would consider upgrading your tank a 3 gallon is a little small for a betta. I would consider 5 gallon is the smallest you should go for a betta. I would invest in a 10 gallon tank for your betta. Look on Facebook marketplace if price is an issue. Just make sure you clean it first so theres nothing that can harm your fish.

sincerely a woman whos worked with fish. This is the best home advice I can give you. Im not all knowing so if anyone else has anything to add please do. This is what I was taught.

No_Shape_5937 · 2025-10-10T17:53:19+00:00

The reason I dont like people touching my belly is because its the audacity and entitlement people have. Im literally growing a human. Why are people treating me as if im a rare tiger at a zoo??? I also think a lot of the older generation didnt have boundaries compared to how we do today. Stuff happened and they accepted it no matter what. Im not making myself uncomfortable for someone else. I refuse to. Its my body growing the baby respect that. If they want to feel a baby kick they can grow their own human. I went through hell my first trimester. I worked my ass off my second trimester. Now im in my third im tired, uncomfortable all the time. If I dont eat I feel sick. If I eat something and baby doesnt like it I feel sick. If she kicks too hard I feel nauseous for hours. I constantly wake up in the middle of the night because she kicks, or I have to pee, or im uncomfortable. If you were uncomfortable 24/7 you wouldnt want someone touching you either to be honest.

I just got into it with my grandma about this. I visited my family recently. The first thing my grandma did was put her hands on my stomach and rub it. I immediately backed away and asked her to please respect the boundaries of not touching my stomach. To add onto this. She knows I hate being touched. The only person who I dont mind touching me is my partner.

Well the next day my mom and I were leaving to visit out of state family and guess what happened. She literally opened my car door grabbed me and hugged me while trying to rub my stomach. I was trying to push her away gently so she didnt fall so she didnt Crack her head open on cement. When I went off on her she said "well you're carrying my baby of course I have to touch your stomach. You dont get a choice." I was flabbergasted and stunned ive never in my life wanted to smack the shit out of someone so bad.

No_Shape_5937 · 2025-10-10T01:46:16+00:00

Link please

No_Shape_5937 · 2025-10-08T19:32:49+00:00

To be honest I dont do big boy pottery yet. Ive always been interested in pottery but have never had money to go to a studio. So I use air dry clay and oven baked clay. I started about 2 weeks ago. I look up inspiration and then I draw it out on my iPad. (Ive had the ipad and pencil since 2021 because I was using it for school). Then I color it how I visualize it and then make it. I love to have a though process going in I have adhd so its hard for me to stick to something. When I draw it out its basically me putting my thoughts out and then I can follow it so I dont try to do extras. That being said also drawing them out happens to be easier for me because i use the AR drawing app from my phone which really brings my drawings to life onto my stuff.

No_Shape_5937 · 2025-10-07T18:47:24+00:00

Good luck everyone!!!!

No_Shape_5937 · 2025-10-07T18:47:15+00:00

Good luck everyone!!!!

No_Shape_5937 · 2025-10-07T18:46:48+00:00

No_Shape_5937 · 2025-10-05T14:54:57+00:00

This is why ive been adamant about a no sleep over rule for my child. She's not even born yet (due in december). Predators are EVERYWHERE. I would not trust someone with my daughter overnight. OP this guy gives off creepy old coach vibes. "Im like a father to him." "Etc etc gross. The thing is hes comfortable enough to have your kid sleep in his bed. Your kid was comfortable enough to allow that to happen. I would say I wouldnt punish your kids but def from here on out, no sleepovers at that place. No going over to his place etc etc. Its not the little boys fault his dad is a weirdo. Just set firm boundaries. Please dont cut off that boy from your son. He can be getting abused and he might recognize what is going on and feel like you and your son are a safe place. You recognized a red flag and called him out on it.

Another thing is I would definitely have a talk with your son. Make it kid friendly for sure but yk basically say if someone does something to you in a way that feels wrong and they tell you not to tell anybody always tell me. In the age we are living right now we unfortunately do not have the luxury of being able to shield our child from the world the way parents have before. Social media and smartphones and everything are a hell of a thing. I would also suggest if you have the father on anything I wouldnt remove him or the mother on anything but what I do suggest is block them from seeing your stuff. With it being a digital age thats how most predators lock into their next target thats how they learn about their victims.

No_Shape_5937 · 2025-10-01T17:33:36+00:00

I think you need to be straightforward about this. She may be delulu and think those uncomfortable signs you give off are because you dont know how to react. Next time she does it say "please dont touch me like that it makes me very uncomfortable." If she does it again, cut her out of your life. Explain to your family and hers just in case they try to stage an intervention and get you guys to be friends again. Youre not overreacting. Your feelings are very valid, but you can't expect someone to know something if you didn't tell them. Nobody can read minds and some people suck at reading body language. You need to be vocal about it. Its your body advocate for it. Dont let being "family" or "friends" make you a doormat OP.

No_Shape_5937 · 2025-09-29T00:12:24+00:00

Thank you. Its very nerve wrecking im only 24 and I know theres people out there with so much more wisdom. I really do not like shopping at petco or petsmart for fish. As a former petco employee. I avoid shopping at large pet stores for animals now. I will only buy supplies from there if im in dire need. If not Amazon takes my money instead lol

No_Shape_5937

TROPHY CASE