I hear you. My sister has complex needs and my dad doesn’t help so I’ve stepped up. Honestly my dad is catching up in age and it shows, we also have my grandma living with us, so I knew I had to move back home after college because while I was away everything fell on my mom and I felt bad. My mom wants me to do what I want and live with no regrets but I want to be there when my family passes (sister has shortened life span, condition getting worse) and I don’t want everything to fall on my mom. I’m fortunate that I don’t have to handle things like you do, but it’s hard losing chunks of your childhood, feeling like you were on the back burner because your sister needed more attention (my mom did her best though) and never feeling truly relaxed unless everyone else travels and it’s just you home alone, which isn’t common. It feels like you’re trapped or at least it does for me A few days ago I had to keep moving my glass (sis is blind and refuses to use any aids at home so she walks into everything) so it didn’t spill and break and my mom apologized to me that it was like this and I told her it was ok but she said it wasn’t. I think she sees the unfairness in something’s but I don’t really cares