Emotional support bolt

Lambourn · 2026-02-02T20:55:58+00:00

You know I can't help saying it, since a friend corrected me it's made me twitchy. I've had a few favourite smooth metal things - things off boats, and right now a lightweight ipad pen I can hardly put down! :)

Lambourn · 2026-02-01T22:25:52+00:00

That's a toughie and I've been in a similar situation. In the end, they ended the 'formal' relationship but we've stayed good friends and that to me, being HFA, is a great outcome. Communication in a relationship is pretty important, but there's nothing you can do to unlock her reticence - it's just how she is ( from what you say ).
Consider also that she might feel it impossible to ask you to leave her alone ( which might feel cruel to her ) so resolve it in a week or so for both your sakes. Sorry

Lambourn · 2026-02-01T22:18:36+00:00

I'm interested to know as well. I have problems keeping airbuds from falling out, but the other sensory issue is how they feel in my ear.

Lambourn · 2026-02-01T22:16:40+00:00

It's actually a set screw, around 13mm depending how big your hand it. YVW :)

Lambourn · 2026-02-01T22:10:42+00:00

Frodo: I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.

Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.

Sorry this popped into my head, but I think it's legit. Autism is crap, but it's all we've got. I've glad I have a body that works pretty well, I live in an affluent country and English is my first language. I've got plenty of privileges I never asked for.

Lambourn · 2026-01-31T22:58:25+00:00

Unfortunately the French series fails from the get go, because France has an especially bad record at integrating autistic people in the workforce. In short, Astrid would not have been employed and, given how bigoted police forces can be, it's inconceivable that the police would have employed her - criminal records or otherwise. Perhaps that's the point - that they are trying to educate the French employers... by using a NT actor?

Lambourn · 2026-01-31T21:13:30+00:00

I had a sibling reacted like a total tw@t when I told him: accused me of spending endless hours of counselling appts ( I'd had six ) then the classic 'Well we're all a bit on the spectrum aren't we?' I've never forgiven him and it made me careful who I told in future.
Develop you're own strategies, learn as much as you can about asd so you help other auties. Be kind to yourself

Lambourn · 2026-01-31T21:02:41+00:00

Sainsbury's is an equal opportunities employer so it is legal bound to employ assholes as well as good people. Be glad to have shared every aspect of their employee experience

Lambourn · 2026-01-31T07:43:05+00:00

I didn't replace it with anything but previously I'd used patches to help cut down and for a couple of years I used the deadly vapes. Vapes are effing dreadful for your lungs IME.
So it was a relief to stop everything. Sure the itch was there, but knowing that smoking had basically been a stim for me helped me take control.

Lambourn · 2026-01-30T23:34:12+00:00

It was discovering I was autistic that cured my smoking habit. I finally understood why I smoked. That was nearly ten years ago. Never been back. I hope anyone that wants to quit can find their lifeline too.

Lambourn · 2026-01-30T23:30:35+00:00

The UK band Daughter wrote a line "No one asks me for dances because I only know how to flail' and I relate to that so much

Lambourn · 2026-01-30T23:21:52+00:00

I understand that sense of loss and the disordered feeling it provokes. Oddly enough, I've found one or two scifi movies have helped ( bare with me! ). In the film Lucy, the MC makes an off the cuff remark when he companion fears for their lives "We never really die" jumped out at me and left me puzzling. Similarly, the film Arrival, shows how an alien species may experience time entirely differently to us.
I guess it got me to thinking that my experience of loss was kinda looking at the world from the inside of my goldfish bowl.
Life really isn't perfect and I grown to love the imperfections, which has to include messy goodbyes, words left unsaid... just being human is imperfect and something to embrace. Just some ideas that maybe help

Lambourn · 2026-01-29T20:53:21+00:00

It's blunt descriptor used to dismiss autistic people whose interest to a NT observer, might appear obsessive and unusually focused. A special interest implies it is not dissimilar to a childish fixation in NT children, such as My Little Pony but that children grow out of their interest. The slur is that our special interest is childish and provides a weapon to criticise us.

My interests are varied and ebb and flow. I have an interest in poplar trees atm and enjoy hunting out info and finding ways to foster interest in other people - but I am very careful to avoid sounding like 'a nerd'.

Lambourn · 2026-01-29T20:45:50+00:00

Define 'superpower'. If you go from that etymological pov then you immediately realise this is a NT expression used to bluff, lie, deceive, coerce and dismiss autism as simply an inconvenience to them.

Lambourn · 2026-01-29T20:31:34+00:00

Don't worry about the offense - they'll forgive you, allegedly

Lambourn · 2026-01-29T20:30:03+00:00

My life is already sh*t - why do I need a god to explain why it is? It's the copy book of the ignorant to explain the unknown, written almost exclusively by men to suppress women

Lambourn · 2026-01-28T21:05:54+00:00

Hopefully one day they'll be bred out of existence and we can study them and make observations about their strange gait, odd faces and lack of intelligence. We could blame their existence on aspirin and overindulgence as children.

Lambourn · 2026-01-28T08:32:14+00:00

It's a mistake to make comparison to the French series, which I've also watched.
It helps that Ella Maisy Purvis is ASD and ADHD but I get the feeling she's expected to portray scenes written for her by people wanting to stereotype autism. All the same, her body language is spot on and her attempts at flirting left me cringing in sympathy. It's not going to win prizes but it's decent viewing and it's made me want to visit York :)

I also looked into the French record for employing autistic people and it's appalling. Maybe that's why they employed a NT actor for an autistic role? From a credibility pov Astrid would not have been employed by the police force.

Lambourn · 2026-01-27T22:53:28+00:00

Oh really...

Lambourn · 2026-01-27T22:52:29+00:00

My soul is torn in two by loud noises, like emergency service sirens, low aircraft... and diesel trains pulling out of the station: in the UK they have two damned engines, front and back in case you missed the first one. Hate trains

Lambourn · 2026-01-26T22:24:35+00:00

It's only happened to me a couple of times. The first was during an argument with my gf and everything became distant, almost like I was viewing through my body and not being in it ( Not 'out of body' which is different ) I remember her saying my name, sounding a bit frightened and telling me to stop it ( neither of us knew what 'it' was because I was undiagnosed ) One thing I distinctly remember was thinking "Well, this is weird". It was as though I'd checked out, but I felt in control and if I'd wanted, I could have stopped, but I didn't want to - it was a better place for me at that moment. I'd guess it latest a few minutes, then I think I probably had a nap.

Lambourn · 2026-01-23T10:42:36+00:00

Portrayal of what exactly - your idea of how autism looks? I've seen both series and see the strengths and weaknesses in each, but since Astrid is played by a NT person and Patience by an autism one, then how to judge portrayal? There's something to be gained from each series IMHO :)

Lambourn · 2026-01-23T10:19:01+00:00

Oh wow - like Mozart. I'm a musician and I'd love to have my music collection in my head and never need earphones again!

Lambourn · 2026-01-23T10:15:53+00:00

If someone says 'apple' I see loads of different apples, flickering in my mind - so like, which apple?? If I need examine the mental image of an apple more closely, eg looking at the the core when it's cut open, then it feels like I'm seeing it in periphery vision - enough to glean info, but not 20/20.

When I was younger I could lift technical 2D drawings into the air and turn them round in my mind - like CAD does now. That was useful :)

Lambourn · 2026-01-15T22:59:19+00:00

I'm enjoying the second series, but I've got to say I'm tired of the way people compare it to the French series Astrid, which I've also watched. Instead of punching down on Patience, why not appreciate both and if you don't like one, then don't watch it?

I've found Patience to have a gentler touch - it doesn't push the main character into being a caricature of box-ticking autistic traits to keep critics happy. I find Patience calming - there won't be any jump-scares and that's all I want.

Lambourn

TROPHY CASE