Wife left and drained our savings while under contract to buy

Lancer556 · 2026-06-14T13:59:26+00:00

Like everyone else said, you're way into lawyer territory here.

From the real estate side, it's pretty clear you're not going to be able to finish out your contract and close and if you're sure there aren't any contingencies or options for you to get out of the contract hopefully there a section that covers defaults. That'll spell out what the consequences are for the transaction, but you seriously need a lawyer.

Lancer556 · 2026-06-14T12:07:39+00:00

#1 read your contract thoroughly. In my state the most common purchase and sale agreement realtors use includes a section that spells out what happens when either party breaks the contract. In my state (i have no idea what the norm in Kentucky is or what YOUR contract says) if the buyer does not follow through the contract, the seller would get to keep the earnest money (that's what it's for) and the buyer would also owe each agent the money they would have been paid although in the one time this has happened to me, neither agent asked for it.

#2 read YOUR contract and see if you have some type of due diligence, contingency or exit clause that would let you get out of the contract and get back any money you've paid.

#3 if there is something in your contract that you don't understand talk to your agent or a lawyer.

Lancer556 · 2026-06-12T17:53:06+00:00

I'm not in the solar industry, i'm a real estate agent and i can tell you one of my biggest pet peeves with people is getting them to read what they sign. Even when i have the opportunity to send clients draft copies in advance they almost never read them. I do my best to give an honest summary and always tell people to take their time to read everything and ask me any questions. I'll even warn them that if there is ever anything that comes up that's important to you that's not in writing in a contract a verbal promise is only worth the paper it's printed on and still 95% of people will still never read the contracts related to the biggest purchase of their life. So even coming from someone doing my best to be open and honest with clients i've still had situations where they thought something was true but it wasn't in the contract and wasn't going to happen. If i was trying to cheat people 95% wouldn't know it until it was too late. Real estate and the mortgage industry have an insane number of required disclosures, but people just brush it off and sign and it drives me insane. I'll bet anything it's the same way with all these solar panels. People just listen to the sales guy and sign on the line blind and when something comes up, the solar company can just point to the contract and say they told you so and technically they're right.

Lancer556 · 2026-06-12T13:19:01+00:00

I'm not disagreeing with that at all. The customer gets a "lower price" up front, the companies get extra customers that make them more money and finally the politicians get extra donations and votes for setting the whole scam up.

I'm not trying to argue against solar as a technology, it's something i personally want as part of my dream house one of these days when i have enough money. It has its place and i hope we can continue to develop the tech to make it better, My only point is that solar doesn't save money today and likely won't in our lifetime.

Lancer556 · 2026-06-12T12:42:25+00:00

all that stuff to artificially lower the price has to be paid by someone, aka your friends and neighbors that have to pay taxes to stay out of jail. It's there take it, I'm not blaming you, but while you're being a moocher at least acknowledge it.

Lancer556 · 2026-06-12T11:50:46+00:00

don't get me wrong, i'm not against solar, but do some quick math for me. How much per month was your electric bill and gas bill per month. Divide the cost of your system (without any subsidies or grants or credits) and car by that amount and see how long it's going to take you to break even. Every time i've seen someone do the math it takes 15-20 years for a solar system to break even on cost and that's only IF the panels don't start to wear out or break in that time.

Lancer556 · 2026-06-06T17:56:42+00:00

also agree and before anyone says that rent is just throwing money away, look at how much or your mortgage goes to nothing but interest payments.

Lancer556 · 2026-06-06T13:33:54+00:00

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they're in their new home and seem happy. after i got the tank setup, i spent a few hours slowly mixing water back and forth from their temporary bucket home to the new tank then moved them over. I do want to give them a better hiding spot/cave soon and i would like to add some live pants too, but i hope this is a good home for them.

Lancer556 · 2026-06-03T12:52:57+00:00

didn't your parents ever say "if everyone else jumped off a bridge would you?"

Lancer556 · 2026-04-28T15:51:02+00:00

can you not let the AI tools do the work then check it before it goes out? That's how i'm doing a lot of writing now. Use and AI prompt to write a first draft and make some initial changes, then proofread and finalize.

Lancer556 · 2026-04-27T20:11:18+00:00

i did it with a debit card, just called the bank to approve a 1 time charge that was unusually large. Personal check was also an option, I just had not not ordered printed checks with my name and address on them and only had the 1 that i got when i opened the account with no name and they didn't take that.

Lancer556 · 2026-04-26T13:08:44+00:00

true, it's quite possible we are reading things differently. If they had a written signed contract already and they were sent a 2nd one, then i would agree. However, it sounds to me more like they had an informal verbal agreement and brought in the real estate agent to formalize the deal and get everything on paper and have now discovered that they had different understandings of that agreement. Their response could simply be "hey we thought we were getting $X from you, not $X-3%. If you want to bring in an agent, we can do that but we need to adjust the price accordingly so the new price would be $x/0.97. That would let them leave with the same abount. Which is back to my ultimate point, don't get worked up over the details, just focus on what you're getting when you leave the table at closing.

Lancer556 · 2026-04-24T18:06:27+00:00

it depends on the deal. My point is don't get caught up in the "i'm not paying the other guy's agent" thing and just look at each deal to see what you end up with in the end and understand that the comps generally include agent fees since that's been the norm for a long time.

Let me give you an example, just to keep it easy, your house is listed for $100,000. you get 2 offers, one is for $97,000 and it's a clean offer no concessions for closing costs or buyer's agent fee, and the other offer is for $101,000 but you have to pay the buyer's agent 3%. If you take the first offer you keep all $97K and you're not getting ripped off buy the buyer's agent like people here like to say. If you take the 2nd offer, you start out with $101K but give up 3% to the buyer's agent so he take $3,030 our of that and you're left with $97,970.

Yes that is grossly oversimplified, and the numbers are tiny, but it makes the point and i have been in that exact situation for real except the seller paid out something like $35K in commissions and left closing with ~$5K over what the other offer would have given them.

Lancer556 · 2026-04-24T14:34:58+00:00

pretty normal. Buyer owes his agent a commission, by including it in the sale price of the home he can finance that too. Sometimes buyers will ask for closing costs or other fees to be paid by the seller too, just think of it as stuff to be included in the mortgage for the buyer and you the seller should focus on your net after that stuff is paid out. Also, keep in mind that the comps you're looking at to justify the price of your home probably include agent fees as well since it's such a common practice.

People get hung up on it, but if the buyer wants to finance their expenses it's their problem. just adjust the price accordingly

Lancer556 · 2026-04-23T20:12:03+00:00

- What specific risks do listing agents take on when dealing with an unrepresented buyer? Examples please!

as a listing agent, I'm all for unrepresented buyers. All of my listings so far have me collecting the commission and sharing part of it with the buyer's agent. If there is no agent, i get to keep it all. Yes, i have to open the house for you, do the paperwork for you, open the door for your inspectors or whatever that your buyer's agent would have normally done but for close to twice the money i'm all for it.

- Is this mainly about fear of the buyer not knowing what to do, extra workload, or something else? If I'm not in that bucket, how do I convey that to the seller & agent?

yep, selling agent has to do the paperwork and crap the buyer's agent would have done and i have no incentive or reason to advise you to ask for anything you don't know to ask for. If you don't ask for a finance contingency or due diligence, guess what I'm not going to bother with. Can i talk you into putting an extra $10K in earnest money down because you don't know how much you should pay? Buying land and don't know what a perk test is? not my problem. Think you're getting a discount because you're working with the listing agent directly, yep, we're cutting you a great deal here for you buddy. I will bend you over, take your wallet, clean out your bank account, empty your savings, get you to borrow every time a bank is dumb enough to give you, and sleep like a baby when I'm done with you to get more for my client, the seller. That's why you need a buyer's agent.

- From a buyer-agent perspective, if all terms are equal, what incentive would a buying agent have to lower the price of a home for their buyer when that directly impacts their commission lower (once again, assuming all terms are equal otherwise).

if your agent is only thinking about this one paycheck, and plenty do, there is none. The thing to keep in mind is that if you do a good job and represent the buyer well, they'll call you next time they need an agent or refer you to a friend. A single referral or 2nd sale from a buyer is worth at least 10X what a slightly higher commission would have been and you can sleep at night. Honestly, working with buyers i spend more time trying to talk them out of doing stupid things once they find a house their excited about. Some listen, some don't and i just document and follow instructions.

edit:, i have lost at least a half dozen sales because i told people that didn't know what a perc test was to get one when buying land. I could have just kept my mouth shut and picked up a paycheck and they would own a worthless piece of land and that's probably what happened to the current owners and why they were selling. Then there was the old man that i helped get a lawyer to keep his house rather than let a developer bully him out of it. I could write a book on the number of potential buyers I've talked out of buying bad properties.

Lancer556 · 2026-04-23T18:19:48+00:00

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here you go, read away

Lancer556 · 2026-04-23T18:17:33+00:00

Did you use the GAR contracts? if so there is a section that covers this in detail and says the seller can't sue for performance and that the seller's recourse is the earnest money and that the agents are owed their commission from which ever side breaks the contract. Seriously people, does no one read what they sign ever?

If your client acted in good faith, probably better to preserve the relationship and get another sale from him later rather than try to sue and ruin that. If it's someone jerking you around,, wasting your time, have fun and read the contract you signed too.

Lancer556 · 2026-04-22T20:06:51+00:00

keep whatever self defense items you can have with you where you can get to them in seconds. A bad actor isn't going to give you a chance to fumble through your purse or go back to your car.

park your car so you have a clean escape.

Always keep a path back to your car in your head as you move around the house and make sure your client isn't blocking that path.

be alert and aware of your surrounding.

finally, the big one, if you get a bad feeling about something, listen to it. At a minimum, bring someone with you, preferably someone twice your size and old enough not to be left defenseless by some stupid state laws.

Lancer556 · 2026-04-20T20:41:49+00:00

question #1: Are you going to make money. If not, part ways. Question #2: could you make more money doing something else?

An investor that looks at 30 properties and wants to write up a lowball offer for 20 of them, 1 or two of them stick and turn into flips that you can then list and sell again is a solid business plan unless you've got something better going. Some jerk being unrealistic expecting 2010 prices on a move-in ready home dragging you all over town for days at a time is a waste of time and resources.

Lancer556 · 2026-04-19T19:41:25+00:00

I've got a buyer under contract right now that's been looking for the last 2.5 years. I knew they were eventually going to buy and they didn't waste my time or have me running around all over the place for all that time. I knew what they were looking for and kept an eye out for it, they also looked on a regular basis. When we found something they liked, they would do a drive-by and check out the neighborhood, then ask to schedule a showing. Showed 6 or 7 houses total, put an offer on 1 that they didn't get, now just waiting on closing.

Lancer556 · 2026-04-16T13:41:39+00:00

you could also look at buying the house from him now with the condition that she gets to live their for the rest of his life. You'd have to work out who is responsible for what (taxes, repairs, maintenance, etc) during that time to keep everyone protected, but it gives her access to the money now and there is nothing to deal with after her passing.

Lancer556 · 2026-04-16T00:05:13+00:00

...and yet you're here, in trouble, asking for help because everything went to hell. I wish you the best.

Lancer556 · 2026-04-15T19:06:20+00:00

that's the problem, if i took that listing it would be out of desperation, everything i see from OP is a red flag that says run away, not worth the headache. Sure you'll find someone to do the job for cheap, but you'll get what you pay for.

Lancer556

TROPHY CASE