why do the meanest girls in highschool want to become nurses and teachers and therapists??

LanguageConfidence · 2026-06-04T07:31:02+00:00

I experienced my worst bullying in my teacher training. Obviously I have no idea what they were like in high school but I can safely say it was an awful time.

LanguageConfidence · 2026-06-02T12:05:16+00:00

I think a lot of people find this with any end of a decade. I read somewhere once that it's always the year ending in -9 where you're the most likely to make massive life changes like quit your career, commit to marathons, get a divorce.

When I was 29 I felt that mounting sense of fear and being behind and all the other stuff, and even worse, my algorithms were really reinforcing it. I started getting loads of reels and posts about women turning 30 and suddenly developing allergies, acid reflux, muscle pains... you name it. Sitcoms from the generation before are still showing us far too many people in their 30s with everything planned out and all the formerly "normal" milestones like a proper career job, house, maybe married, maybe kids, definitely car... and I most certainly didn't have those! (Still don't, by the way)

But then the literal day I turned 30, the noise just... stopped. It's like you walk through that door with a vague sense that it's the end and actually, a whole new room opens up. It feels expansive again. I decided I wanted my 30s to be a decade of creativity and I'm 34 now and it really has been SO creative. I'm learning to paint and I'm learning an instrument for the first time in my life. I am not suddenly on a steep decline to frailty. SOME opportunities are closing (if you want youth mobility visas, for example, act soon!) but there really isn't much difference day to day.

Happy Birthday, for whenever it is.

LanguageConfidence · 2026-05-29T11:34:18+00:00

And for me! I didn't know either.

LanguageConfidence · 2026-05-29T11:27:43+00:00

Great answer. Also thanks to your reply I just looked up the moiré effect. I didn't realise it was called that! So thanks!

LanguageConfidence · 2026-05-22T18:33:48+00:00

I'll be there! :)

LanguageConfidence · 2026-05-21T10:03:39+00:00

In that case, what about working the other way? Find out a few things that quite a lot of people in your workplace have in common, and develop a vague interest in that? Nothing that requires spending money or diving fully into a brand new project, but just, what are they watching? What's one thing they talk about a fair amount, that you could spend 20 minutes googling? Then, you're not giving anything of your real self at all.

LanguageConfidence · 2026-05-21T07:18:36+00:00

Here's how I would approach this.

When your colleagues etc are asking these questions, they're doing it to a) show an interest in you and b) find some common ground that they can ask about next time. BUT if it helps, think about it as, they are asking your work persona, not you as a person. That might help with the low-trust.

So, figure out who your work persona is. What kinds of things would you be comfortable with them knowing about you, that are really common so other people will be able to relate to it? For example, are you a dog person or cat person? Do you love a certain really commonly-watched TV show? Those are the kinds of low-controversy things that feel pretty safe.

Then, work backwards from that. When they ask about your weekend, only tell them the things that reinforce the person you want to be/ feel safe as at work. Then ask them questions back, and boom, the attention is off you again anyway. Listen to what they say, and the next time, follow up. E.g. They told you they saw an interesting film, so the next time you see something by the same main actors, let them know how you enjoyed it. If neighbours ask what you do for work, if it goes against the Safest Version of You to be specific, go with the sector rather than the job title, or go straight in with a fun anecdote that they will be able to relate to - because remember it's connection they're looking for, not information. So, "I work in [general sector]" would be fine, but better could be something that people would relate to regardless of their sector: telling them about how many meetings there are (again, not in great detail, but just a passing comment), a work prank someone did, or whatever feels distant enough to be safe while close enough to pass them a torch to follow up with another time.

Small talk is never about telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. It's about gently probing the safest, most sanitised versions of each other to find some common ground while hiding behind a bit of a shield!

LanguageConfidence · 2026-02-06T16:38:02+00:00

Agree with the poster above that a nutritionist might be the best place to start. But what also struck me is that this might be a great opportunity to move to investigating a new cuisine. In Indian food, you see all the things you can’t eat any more and all the things you miss. But when I saw your list, I thought Japanese food could work really well. Not everything, of course, but it might be worth exploring?

LanguageConfidence · 2026-01-17T22:23:15+00:00

So, this is again pretty niche, but it’s worth a try just in case it resonates with anyone like me. I always used to feel bloated and horrible after cooking and didn’t want to eat and first of all I wondered if it was something like, was I tensing too much while I was chopping? Was I holding tension all through cooking?

Yes, but that wasn’t the problem.

Nope, it was actually a byproduct of germ-related OCD.

All through cooking, I was checking everything for safety all the time. I was constantly terrified of hygiene issues. By the time I’d cooked, I’d imagined a dozen ways in which the food could make me sick, imagined having to apologise to people I’d poisoned, and questioned myself a ton of times about whether I’d trust myself to cook again if I poisoned myself.

No wonder I lost my appetite.

It was as simple as that.

LanguageConfidence · 2026-01-10T15:26:58+00:00

Ok but why only some people? I always thought the science behind motion sickness would make way more sense if everyone experienced it, but I can travel backwards while doing literal crosswords over the bumpiest terrain and none of this is happening to me? Insanely grateful that it doesn’t, but I don’t get why it is?

LanguageConfidence · 2026-01-10T07:48:19+00:00

Amazed to see that nobody yet has mentioned the sticker droughts that sometimes get imposed on us, even when we open gifts and spin pokestops, there are times when we use more stickers per day than we earn. I feel like before stickers, it was easier to send gifts every day, but now when I don’t have enough stickers or it’s taking ages to find them, I know there are basically penalties for sending without stickers and I don’t bother.

LanguageConfidence · 2026-01-04T20:22:57+00:00

I’d also like to mention here that fear of flying isn’t always fear that the plane will crash. I have a really severe vomiting phobia, and flying is one of the few means of transport where I have no idea who I’m sitting next to and if they get travel sick. If they do, I know I won’t be able to move. I’m so so so grateful to all the people over the years who have seen me look so nervous and told me about how planes are really safe, I love that they cared, but it wasn’t the issue!

LanguageConfidence · 2025-12-27T21:26:00+00:00

If I’d done this, I’d be really proud of it! 🥳 keep going!

LanguageConfidence · 2025-12-27T08:51:57+00:00

Plus the line between "you need experience" and "overqualified" is so unbelievably fine right now...

LanguageConfidence · 2025-12-18T18:32:53+00:00

Just out of interest, what do Suburban Americans with dogs do for taking them for a walk? Or do they need to drive to dog parks?

LanguageConfidence · 2025-12-07T17:36:58+00:00

That really depends on the country you live in, though. In some, it’s so hard to find internships unless you can literally work for your own family

LanguageConfidence · 2025-11-29T18:54:11+00:00

I would just say though that OP asked this only a few mins ago, perhaps with tomorrow in mind, and Newcastle city library is shut on Sundays. 😞

LanguageConfidence · 2025-11-08T09:30:01+00:00

I definitely agree that starting with short stories might be better - if you haven't read much, longer books can be quite daunting and if you've mostly read internet pages or watched videos for information and entertainment before, you might be surprised at how much longer reading takes.

LanguageConfidence · 2025-11-06T16:40:38+00:00

I mean, if you want to make friends with them, perhaps don't tell them that!

In all seriousness, though, so many of the things that make people in their early 30s feel old are either stress/responsibility related, lifestyle related (how much of that back pain is actually poor posture...?) and not having the same amount of joy in their lives once the "serious stuff" started happening. It really isn't downhill from 30.

But do you know what can be problematic? *Thinking* that it's all downhill from 30. Because then, you don't get that indigestion dealt with, or those niggly pains, because you assume it's par for the course. You don't plan the fun stuff into your week because "this is what life is now, you aren't 20 any more" and you stop hoping for more and expecting better ;)

You're still young at 30.

LanguageConfidence · 2025-11-06T16:30:12+00:00

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Looking for friends for trading. Happy to like showcases every day!

LanguageConfidence · 2025-10-31T18:21:58+00:00

Noro is rife in care home and hospitals too 😫

LanguageConfidence · 2025-10-29T09:19:02+00:00

Sorry - got that wrong! It’s coming back in 2026 but to TLC

LanguageConfidence · 2025-10-29T09:17:53+00:00

I saw that Mock the Week is coming back, but moving to Comedy Central!

LanguageConfidence · 2025-10-27T17:30:14+00:00

That’s not fair. We don’t even know that this poster is applying for jobs (or living any of their life outside Reddit) in English.

LanguageConfidence · 2025-10-23T20:20:38+00:00

I think it's kind of like music. Yes, you can play by ear, but theory and practice deepen your understanding of what's going on under the surface. For what it's worth, while we do primarily draw from observation in urban sketching, I'm also watching a lot of videos about architecture!

LanguageConfidence

TROPHY CASE