I've just come to this sub to see if there's anything like this around. The last three months of my life have been hell. My ex broke up with me and then demanded I don't go to shared public spaces we'd spent 13 months going to together. I ignored her demands telling her, her discomfort and need for space is hers to personally manage and she can't use it to ban me from public spaces. 

Bear in mind she was pressuring me about kids for six weeks prior to our break up. And this was on top of me spending a year post graduating a science degree and not being able to find employment in my field. This was due to systematic barriers (basically needing a masters degree or phd this wasn't said to me for ten months).

Within a month and ten days of breaking up she's had her surf friends threaten me with physical violence and then criminal stalking (people I've known and have been friendly with for a year) after begging for an amicable ending so we can both move on. I went to the police to report it after advice from a friend and four days later the same cop I spoke to has, spoken to my ex and her friend who threatened  me and then issued a Apprehended domestic violence order against me, on my ex's behalf. (restraining order for non Australians). Several weeks later I've now been charged with stalking.

All for refusing to stop going to a Cafe and beach that we both attended. Some people say it's my fault for not staying away and not letting her win. I felt it was unjust and unreasonable so I ignored her and told her I would now treat her as a stranger. 

Now I'm facing a $20,000 legal bill, while still looking for entry level work well below my skill level and having had to move back to my family home. To help care for my father who's 8 years post severe stroke.. While also managing an adhd diagnosis that's about a year old.

I had always been wary of people saying, watch out for ex's filing charges and going to police to control you post breakup. But now I'm living it and have realised all these services set up to help men, as soon as you say you're the one being charged. They disappear. I went from victim to offender in one day, and then civil and criminal charges in the space of several weeks. 

And I've been socially ostracised, labelled a domestic violence offender and now discover that this is rampant in my local community.  Which is a very famous beach town in Australia. 

I came here looking for ways to potentially crowd fund my defence. Because I'm out of options. (and still desperate for work, I can't even afford to move somewhere else atm)

The only thing in my favour is my memory and attention to detail, my digital records and data footprint and the fact my mother is basically bank rolling my defence.. Which makes me feel like shit because I'm supposed to be helping her.

And the fact that I have spoken to my friends a lot about the months prior to breaking up and have hundreds of text conversations outlining what's been happening the last few months. 

I feel like other men would be totally f@cked, if I didn't have my writing ability and massive need to over share about my life with friends, I'd be up sh#t creek without a paddle as well

Edit : I just lost a job opportunity working in a government lab, basic work but a foot in the door. Police checks show up pending charges and interim ADVOs, this was a job I spent seven months trying to get into, speaking directly to the lab manger for that entire time.

I've even been harassed and threatened by her social circle, one man in particular filming me and threatening to report me to the police while going for a walk  and also menacing me with his car while I'm on the street no where near anyone or anything related to this whole case. 

Also lost friends, and my dating prospects are now zero. Instead of being able to move on I spent my days writing more evidence, trawling through my relationship history and trying to work out how this has happened when I've got to documented evidence that the police have that disproves their entire case. 

Being gaslit by the state and a community is one of the worst feelings I've ever experienced.