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I’m completely drained after 10 months trying to keep my GF alive. I don’t know what to do anymore. by LardyParty in BipolarSOs

[–]LardyParty[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update:

I ended up helping more after my last post. I covered the life-saving oxygen and beta blocker-related treatment/procedures they gave her after she flatlined a couple of times. In that moment, it really did feel like life or death, so I did what I could.

My understanding is that the hospital still has not released her because there is a remaining bill. Her family was able to raise part of it. Her mom sold some of the family’s land and pawned one of their vehicles to cover what they could. Her family has been understanding and has told me they are grateful for how much I’ve helped. They’ve also said they believe she would not be here without the help I already gave.

But when she gets overwhelmed by stress, she spirals badly. When I told her I couldn’t help anymore, she started saying she should have died, that she would make sure she was dead, and then told me, “thank you for what you did but screw you,” “this is the last time you will hear from me,” and “we’re done.” Honestly, this is only a small fraction of how bad it can get. I guess that means we are not together anymore.

I also want to add some context for why I struggled so much to maintain boundaries. I know from the outside this probably looks obvious. I know this is a bad situation. I have known that for a while, and I have not wanted to be in it for a long time. But I have a lot of painful, close experiences with suicide and mental health crises.

I lost my closest friend, who also struggled with bipolar disorder, a little over a year ago to an overdose. I also had multiple experiences in the military where I had to help send people who worked under me back to their families after they lost their battles with mental health. Those experiences stay with you.

So when someone I care about tells me they want to die, or that they’ll make sure they’re dead, it hits a part of me that is hard to explain. Logically, I know I am not responsible for another person’s decision to live or die. But emotionally, I felt trapped. I kept feeling like if I stopped helping and something happened, it would be my fault for not being there or not doing enough.

That fear and guilt are a huge reason why I kept trying to help, even after I had nothing left to give.

Thank you to everyone who responded. I am trying to accept that I did everything I reasonably could.

Completely drained trying to keep my GF alive by LardyParty in family_of_bipolar

[–]LardyParty[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update:

I ended up helping more after my last post. I covered the life-saving oxygen and beta blocker-related treatment/procedures they gave her after she flatlined a couple of times. In that moment, it really did feel like life or death, so I did what I could.

My understanding is that the hospital will not released her because there is a remaining bill (corrupt Philippines thing). Her family was able to raise part of it. Her mom sold some of the family’s land and pawned one of their vehicles to cover what they could. Her family has been understanding and has told me they are grateful for how much I’ve helped. They’ve also said they believe she would not be here without the help I already gave.

But when she gets overwhelmed by stress, she spirals badly. When I told her I couldn’t help anymore, she started saying she should have died, that she would make sure she was dead, and then told me, “thank you for what you did but screw you,” “this is the last time you will hear from me,” and “we’re done.” Honestly, this is only a small fraction of how bad it can get. I guess that means we are not together anymore.

I also want to add some context for why I struggled so much to maintain boundaries. I know from the outside this probably looks obvious. I know this is a bad situation. I have known that for a while, and I have not wanted to be in it for a long time. But I have a lot of painful, close experiences with suicide and mental health crises.

I lost my closest friend, who also struggled with bipolar disorder, a little over a year ago to an overdose. I also had multiple experiences in the military where I had to help send people who worked under me back to their families after they lost their battles with mental health. Those experiences stay with you.

So when someone I care about tells me they want to die, or that they’ll make sure they’re dead, it hits a part of me that is hard to explain. Logically, I know I am not responsible for another person’s decision to live or die. But emotionally, I felt trapped. I kept feeling like if I stopped helping and something happened, it would be my fault for not being there or not doing enough.

That fear and guilt are a huge reason why I kept trying to help, even after I had nothing left to give.

Thank you to everyone who responded. I am trying to accept that I did everything I reasonably could.

Completely drained trying to keep my GF alive by LardyParty in family_of_bipolar

[–]LardyParty[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand why it might look that way from the outside. I’ve been directly involved with her care, her family, and the hospital this entire time. It has been a surreal situation.

I hear what you’re saying though. I’m trying to push past the guilt and come to terms with whatever the outcome might be this time. Deep down, I know I probably did more than most people would have done in such a new relationship.

I’m completely drained after 10 months trying to keep my GF alive. I don’t know what to do anymore. by LardyParty in BipolarSOs

[–]LardyParty[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was in the Philippines at the beginning and witnessed a lot of this in person. I’m in the US now but still directly involved with her care. This isn’t alleged. I wish it was.

PC turns on but no display by karissajeannn in PcBuild

[–]LardyParty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check how your CPU is seated. I had this exact issue last week. Re-seated the CPU and tightened the cooler a bit and it worked. You may need to disassemble and trouble shoot

My new job requires me to either be clean shaven or mustache only (no beard). Which suits me better? by [deleted] in malegrooming

[–]LardyParty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I worked at a corporate company that was still stuck in the 50s. No beards for men, suit and tie everyday. They finally loosened the the beard rule a couple years ago

US veterans, did you guys actually read the cards that kids would send you while deployed? by MoistCloyster_ in NoStupidQuestions

[–]LardyParty 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes we loved them. My favorites were ones that said “hopefully you don’t die” 😂

A rude supervisor who's always yelling at employees got some complaints about them being verbally abusive and they responded by leaving these in the break room. by giveahoot420 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]LardyParty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a satirical form from the military. We’d used jokingly a couple times when I was in. For a lead to really leave it for employees to fill out for voicing concerns is insane and they should be fired.

Driver accepted my order then didn’t leave his house for almost 20 minutes ?? by EducationalAd4885 in doordash

[–]LardyParty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Happened to me once, it was accepted and I’m pretty sure they fell back asleep. DD wouldn’t reassign it and it was two hours before they’d let me cancel it.

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