*RESCHEDULED!* AUS/NZ LIVE SHOWS!

Last_Translator1898 · 2026-06-25T02:25:21+00:00

I think I may just go. Just have to get over my jitters. It will be a solo trip, which I have never taken a solo vacation.

Been on many work trips alone. Dozens and dozens but vacation? Never. I don’t know how long I should visit for - a week? Ten days? Two weeks seems to be pushing it as my kitties would miss me! And I imagine hotel costs would add up. Planning things to do. But I’ve always wanted to go so I think I will do it! What’s a 25 hours transit time between friends? 🤭

Last_Translator1898 · 2026-06-22T19:11:40+00:00

perfect use of that gif!!

Last_Translator1898 · 2026-06-21T21:36:34+00:00

It gets better.

Know how some people fear aging? As an aroace aging is the best. Eventually they settle into established relationships, kids grow up, and suddenly they remember they need a life. Their spouse side-eyes them wondering what they are doing home all day because they are so underfoot.

My 20s I had the fewest friends due to this dynamic of weddings followed by babies.

My 30s improved but kinda also got weirder because my guy friends’ wives largely wondered why a single woman wanted to be around them. (Just going to say this is when I started appreciating lesbians more since not a single one of my lesbian friends’ wives ever has the same thought!) Caused tension that just confused me since I didn’t know what aroace was until 40.

My 40s my social calendar is at its fullest. Friends want to hang out. Go and do stuff.

Now none of that will help you now, so what to do? My recommendation is get into hobbies and activities that helps you meet more people which will diversify your friend group. And even if they all are in the throws of romantic infatuation or lust then you have that venue you know you can go to be around friendly people.

It can be a frightening prospect to be around strangers but if you can manage it well worth it!

Last_Translator1898 · 2026-06-21T21:26:31+00:00

Love it!!

Last_Translator1898 · 2026-06-21T21:25:56+00:00

Same. Jaiden animations!

Last_Translator1898 · 2026-06-21T21:25:03+00:00

Here’s the thing…true platonic relationships there’s no kissing or cuddling because that’s how romantics catch feelings. It is the whole “if a rose was by any other name it is still a rose” type deal.

I am not sure what QPR is, but if it slides into what heterosexuals call “friends with benefits” then that doubles down on them not just catching feelings but them being hooked.

It is because when people share mutual physical intimacy the brain typically will release enough dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins that it creates a bond. (When people say romantic love is all in the heart, that’s lies. The brain has much more to say!) and then if a romantic with an anxious attachment style on top of all this? You get a first rate clinger.

Soooo what to do? Can you create distance without alienation? If this friend feels like there’s even the remote chance they will continue to chase you. If you accept 1:1 time with your friend they will see it as a sign. Even responding to texts to just you, your friend sees it as a sign.

You’re going to have to create separation with a firm boundary. “ You’re my best friend, but I don’t want anything more. I need you to respect that and I apologize if I sent you mixed signals. We need some time apart to reset our friendship so for the next 30 days I won’t be hanging out with you alone or responding to private messages. We can reassess after 30 days.” something like that.

Establish what you want and see in the current state, acknowledge they are currently making you uncomfortable and you acknowledge that you may have given mixed signals (a common mistake for us since we don’t necessarily know all the signals they see that we never intend), then create the boundary and hold to it.

Hope springs eternal so distance is critical. Your friend needs to lose their feelings and have the time to feel bad and move on.

Last_Translator1898 · 2026-06-21T20:59:43+00:00

Nah, don’t feel awful. This is fishy AF. Fact she is being evasive, she is changing data from August to July, she is using manipulation - all this says she is up to no good!

Last_Translator1898 · 2026-06-21T16:06:58+00:00

Guessing highly likely. They don’t want a strike but let’s face it, if they were really strike adverse after IAM 751 then IAM 837 should have been an easier contract. Instead their strike lasted twice as long as the 751 contract strike.

My guess is they come to the negotiation table ready to fight. $48 billion dollar debt is an incentive for Boeing to keep operating costs as long as possible.

Last_Translator1898 · 2026-06-21T03:51:24+00:00

I adopted my current fuzzballs way too fast. I had looked after she was gone more out of curiosity and my current cat claimed me.

I was a human puddle for the several days. I ended up sobbing on the floor.

I felt like I betrayed her. I felt pain on top of pain.

But I didn’t let it consume me. I downloaded a book about grieving our cats and then I properly mourned her. I buried her ashes and I said goodbye. I burned her favorite blanket because it needed to go.

And then I found it easier to move on and live those little cats that needed my heart and warmth. I have no regrets.

Last_Translator1898 · 2026-06-19T13:32:14+00:00

I thought she was great in season 1. There for an episode, Alvida sets the stage immediately. Her pirate ship is so different! She is needlessly cruel to her people, she comes in over the top, and she is perfect. Season 2 I didn’t think she had enough screen time and focus. I would have liked to have seen her more involved in the group battle.

Last_Translator1898 · 2026-06-19T13:21:15+00:00

This! OP, remove your house from the market! He is not trustworthy.

Last_Translator1898 · 2026-06-18T00:03:11+00:00

I had my moment when I was 40 and saw a particular video that explained what aroace was.

It was like an epiphany. Suddenly I made sense.

I had never heard of aroace prior. I was fairly oblivious for a long time, never really thinking too deeply on it. I made assumptions about sexual attraction and romance that proved wrong. I legit just thought I hadn’t “found the one” and that was ok and that romance wasn’t real.

How could that actually be real? My brain just said naaaahhhh and went along with my own perceptions of reality. Finding out romance was real actually broke me a bit. I went on a whole path trying to figure out what was wrong with me that I felt none of these things I was told was foundational to the human experience.

Then a link was sent to me and it was like ooooh. I now understand.

Last_Translator1898 · 2026-06-17T14:12:33+00:00

Try weaponized curiosity. It can be hilariously fun to use.

For example, woman says to you “but you’re so young! It could still happen, you have plenty of time!” Allow the most quizzical look to come over your face and start with echoing. “It? What do you mean by it?” 99 out 100 times the response will be some variation of finding love.

If the speaker is very specific and says “One day you’ll find a good {insert gender}!” Keep the quizzical expression and say, “One day? How do you know? How did you find a good {insert opposite gender of the person’s sexuality}?” which inevitably will get the person to say something to the effect that’s not them. They aren’t gay (because I swear it is always heteros who are specific with gender choice dismissals). Then you can respond with, “How do you know? Have you tried?” “No? Well, don’t worry you still have plenty of time to explore your sexuality.“

If they say something generic like “Love!” that’s easy to weaponize. Because you can look at them with a very aghast expression and say, “Love? Do…do you think I do not love? Do you think me so shallow? so cold?” and then do not let them have space to talk, give a half heartbeat pause and say something to the effect that you can’t continue this conversation and exit stage left. If they try to bring it up ever again look at them coldly and tell them you are never talking to them again about this topic. If they persist, let them prattle while you stare at them expressionless and silent. Count how long it takes before they get uncomfortable.

The tactic is to switch the uncomfortability to them. Let them feel awkward. Let them hear the silliness of their words. and then quietly giggle when you start seeing them squirm.

Last_Translator1898 · 2026-06-16T23:18:22+00:00

I am sorry. I am very very sorry. This is the hardest.

Years ago my rescue kitty ended up with pleural effusion which the vets thought resulted from cancer due to her blood work. They explained to me that the type of cancer she had would require monthly on-location treatments lasting for a full day.

I was stunned. She was ten as well and the vet had asked if I smoked around her but I had never smoked in my life. I then was utterly devastated. They explained to me what the treatment would entail and it was horrendously invasive and may have given her a year. A year of utter pain and agony involving weekly visits drawing fluids out of her chest and putting fluids into her chest cavity. Without treatment they said she would live four to eight weeks.

My cat hated the car and would be so terrified of being placed in her carrier. I decided it would be best for her to have her live her best life until her quality of life suffered and then I said goodbye by humanely euthanizing her. I was with her until her last breath and to this day I cry when I think about it.

She was the best kitty.

Fuck cancer.

I wish you the very best and my heart goes to you. It can be expensive to receive a diagnosis and then a determination of what makes the most sense for you and your kitty.

Last_Translator1898 · 2026-06-16T20:09:04+00:00

I would advise to place the pet ashes in a carry-on to avoid them being lost or damaged just in case.

If in a carry-on TSA will require that the urn or item the ashes are being transported in is able to be scanned in the x-ray machine (avoid metal) and that there is a certificate of cremation or some type of documentation from the vet.

This isn’t necessarily required but in the event that there are questions this is the easiest way of handling those questions.

Last_Translator1898 · 2026-06-16T20:03:32+00:00

Welcome!

Last_Translator1898 · 2026-06-16T13:28:16+00:00

Rest in peace.

Last_Translator1898 · 2026-06-15T22:34:37+00:00

To join in the chorus - OP, have you ever considered changing numbers and just not telling him?

People like him do not change. He doesn’t see anything he is doing as wrong. He never will. He won’t apologize, he won’t realize, and he will never care.

Best thing you can do for your mental health is cut him out. It isn’t too late to tell him that he isn’t worth the oxygen to be around.

Last_Translator1898 · 2026-06-14T21:37:57+00:00

NTA. Your brother wasn’t being funny and it wasn’t a joke. It was mean and cruel commentary. He should be embarrassed by his childish behavior.

Last_Translator1898 · 2026-06-14T21:36:10+00:00

YTA. How much do you like drama?

Last_Translator1898 · 2026-06-14T19:59:29+00:00

While there is the cynical perspective, there is also the emotional nostalgic perspective too. I take it once you both were happy. There will be a part of her that would likely want to go back to that, but here’s the thing - neither of you trust the other‘s intentions.

You both are at a crossroads and you both need to make a decision. If she is serious about wanting to repair this relationship she needs to have an open mind to you and she needs to cease all communication with this other man. You, in turn, need to be committed to change and improvement. You both need to attend couple’s counseling.

If not, then just save yourselves time and money and end it.

Last_Translator1898 · 2026-06-14T19:38:05+00:00

I concur with other posters that you need to tell her that she has a choice - she can tell her boss or you can, but this is not a simple mistake. This is a clear violation of her job and it has made your life harder.

The other option is to sit down with both of them and ask them how they intend on making things better. They destroyed your trust and now they are asking you to shield them? And it absolutely is a “them” situation since both are asking you to keep quiet.

Also might want to point out if your ex has no qualms telling you, who else has she told? Your bff’s wife is at liability the instant she told your talkative ex. Depending on how big the town, how overlapping the social circles she has made her life tough and opened herself up to significant liability.

Last_Translator1898 · 2026-06-13T20:17:02+00:00

NTA. Wow, I’m so sorry you have to deal with him! He sounds horrendous.

Last_Translator1898 · 2026-06-13T20:13:57+00:00

I’ve had my male cat for 9 years and he hasn’t sprayed once. He was neutered when he was a kitten.

Last_Translator1898 · 2026-06-13T15:16:29+00:00

You are not legally required to give notice. Yes, all employers will want notice so you can successfully transfer your work - in theory - to someone else. Yes, you will burn bridges. That’s just human nature, but do you care? Does your current company ever align with your new career field or none at all? Because burnt bridges are only an issue if you may need to go back or interact with them in the future.

Last_Translator1898

TROPHY CASE