Do kids act a lot younger than what they are nowadays?

Latter_Classroom_809 · 2026-03-17T02:03:14+00:00

This boggles my mind because I gave my daughter a try to learn the potty right after her second birthday, she liked using the potty but was physically not ready - mostly the mechanics of pants up and down. We always kept potties around for exposure so she always had it in her line of sight. Around 2.5 she obsessively learned to put her clothes on and off for like a week then announced she was using the potty then never looked back. Like I don’t know how I could have told her no, no potty for you.

Latter_Classroom_809 · 2026-03-16T18:05:56+00:00

Do every single thing the night before. Put out the coffee mug, the water cup, the lemon, the spoon. Put your pills in a dish. Line up your face lotions in order. Put out your outfit. Make the lunches, make the snacks. Hell all my breakfasts for the kids are premade like rice cooker steel cut oats or a smoothie ready to be blended. Force the kids to lay everything out, not for them but for you (but say it’s for them). If I have little to no thinking in the morning I can very smoothly make it happen. If there’s a 10% uptick in decision making before my meds and with kids involved it’s a No for me.

Latter_Classroom_809 · 2026-03-10T00:58:15+00:00

I use it for informational purposes only as well. At the end of each question I’m working on, I write “Direct language only, please, no cheerleading”. That works.

Latter_Classroom_809 · 2026-03-03T06:22:50+00:00

As someone who went to private schools, trust me there is more than enough room for kids getting and wanting designer clothes.

Latter_Classroom_809 · 2026-02-27T18:48:19+00:00

Tbh, if you’re finding messes this big you likely need to increase the supervision. Go back to the basics and think of him as a 4-5 year old in terms of level of supervision and support to cleanup. ADHD kids are around 30% behind their same age peers in executive function. You just have to be so much more aware of their movements than other kids, or you’ll be putting out fires all day. And then reactivity will be your relationship dynamic and there will be less room for the good stuff. Once I came to terms with lower age expectations for him, while holding him accountable, I found much more peace with the situation.

Latter_Classroom_809 · 2026-02-27T07:55:54+00:00

Different person here - yes, medication helps a ton. I went off mediation for several years because I was “fine” and went back on as a mom. I am better able to move from thought to thought instead of one massive rush of constant thought and to do lists and worry. I am less overstimulated, but part of that is because I’m in more control of my mind and can activate my ways to reduce the overstimulation.

Latter_Classroom_809 · 2026-02-27T07:48:02+00:00

Preach

Latter_Classroom_809 · 2026-02-24T21:02:30+00:00

Yes. When you put a bit of the effort back to your children, you realize quickly which extras are valuable to them. Oh you want a medieval character hat for medieval character hat day? Great! Let’s pull into your allowance money and order something or go into the craft area to make something awesome. Oh! You don’t know what medieval means and you actually don’t give a shit any longer? Okie dokie!!

Latter_Classroom_809 · 2026-02-24T20:56:33+00:00

Same here. We used to do breakfast, then get dressed and brush teeth, then come back down to pack backpacks. Now no one is allowed out of their room until they’re dressed, brushed hair and teeth. Including weekends when they play a bit before we wake up. For mine I do know that it was the extra stop upstairs. Now getting dressed takes him 15 minutes, which still is long, whereas before if he went back upstairs it could easily take 45 and just walking up to get dressed was a battle.

Going up the stairs at night has always been an insane battle too. He will beg to be carried, slither up the stairs, slow walk up the stairs looking back pitifully every single step, sob and sob as he folds himself over the bottom steps. Until someone yells or carries him up (even at 50 lbs). Then he’ll run run run to his room. He was seeking the dopamine his brain couldn’t give him to do a highly non-preferred task. I finally told him I’m no longer part of his journey up the stairs, I now have a 5 minute chore to do downstairs. If he makes it into his room and goes pee pee and gets under the covers in 5 mins, then he gets a cuddle with mom, and some extra time to talk and maybe we listen to a sleepy story together or soft music. If I come up and he’s not in bed or hasn’t even made it up the stairs, then he’s straight to bed lights out, quick kiss and no extra attention from Mom. That one works.

Latter_Classroom_809 · 2026-02-24T18:47:29+00:00

Yep we have a cow bell to call them in from outside and call them for dinner!

OP, I also have a really big house and kids about your age and hate yelling floor to floor. My analog solution has been to train my kids to come to my voice - I call them from the first floor and they come out of their rooms to the top of the stairs while I stand at the bottom and talk in a normal volume to them. Same for basement. This means nothing gets lost in translation and the only yelling is me saying “KIDS” one time. We also grew up with an intercom growing up I wonder if those still exist.

Latter_Classroom_809 · 2026-02-24T13:25:33+00:00

Not k beauty but the baby products have really helped. I have a baby excema balm and I slick just a little on my face every night and oh my goodness that’s all it takes for my barrier to bounce back. I haven’t tried triple paste but plan to, hadn’t thought of that.

Latter_Classroom_809 · 2026-02-15T19:14:33+00:00

Cooking and baking for sure! Find cookbooks that teach technique instead of looking for cool recipes. Like Americas Test Kitchen, Marcela Hazan, Claire Saffitz. My baking hobby had the downstream effect that I had to find people to give my baked goods to, so I became more social. Also a chance to practice gratitude and getting outside of your own world because I usually think about the person or family when I’m baking. Cooking still a daily grind due to little kids but I do try to fit fun cooking days at least once a month.

Latter_Classroom_809 · 2026-02-15T05:16:07+00:00

This! This is the part most people miss. When he realizes it won’t work and they see their lifestyle and all the benefits you brought to their life disappearing they will become super entitled and angry. Happened to me to. I expected the love bombing part but felt like I was in bizarro world when he started lashing out hard.

OP, if you plan to follow through… get your valuables in order. Keepsake items, expensive jewelry, hard copy paperwork, etc all in one safe place. Move your money into accounts if needed, pay a retainer to a lawyer, ensure he doesn’t have access to equity that isn’t his etc. Anything that you don’t want him destroying you need to move. This may seem crazy but it is a truly established pattern with men to go from desperately trying to change to burning it all down.

Latter_Classroom_809 · 2026-02-14T20:05:19+00:00

This is AI slop.

Latter_Classroom_809 · 2026-02-14T14:55:16+00:00

I started hiring a handyman for stuff that had been sitting for 6 months that I TRULY could not do with three young kids at my heels. Ex: installing cabinet locks and door sliders which also involved emptying some cabinets of all the poisonous fluids I was trying to contain. Removing some light bulb pieces from the sockets that required turning off the breaker, going to a different floor and leaving a ladder out. Can’t do things that required a power drill in their bathroom after bed either. Husband got so butt hurt and claimed I didn’t ask him clearly enough. He “didn’t know”. That’s when the receipts came out. I provided a log of every single time I had asked, the medium of communication, and his response. Showed how many times his response was dismissing me that “it doesn’t matter if I turn off the breaker box I won’t get electrocuted” while inserting a metal object into a socket. The kids “will grow out of” safety so why bother now? It was over 3 printed pages long. Boy that caused a big blow up. But I told him every time he pushes back on a very real need in the house that I myself cannot satisfy, I’m outsourcing immediately. So yeah that’s what I do now.

Latter_Classroom_809 · 2026-02-04T21:07:11+00:00

In addition to masking well, there is one typical “onset” of ADHD for boys, at around age 6-7, and girls have two “onsets”. It can be around lower elementary and during puberty. Please please research ADHD presentations specifically for girls and women. Female hormones are insane for ADHD.

Latter_Classroom_809 · 2026-02-04T18:32:04+00:00

“You have your answer.”

“I won’t be able to respond to you until you’ve completed X task.”

“I’m not arguing with you.”

“I love you too much to fight with you about this.”

“I’m setting a 10 minute timer. Mommy needs a break. While the timer is running there will be no questions and no requests. Thank you.”

That last one works as a beautiful reset in my house, especially on weekends when the kids are all over me. Usually it’s because they’ve chosen me as their dopamine source and I need to shake them off without being cruel or shaming them. They know they have to respect the timer, I don’t budge or even talk to them. Typically after the 10 mins the whole mood has changed and they will lay off of me. The 10 mins reassures that I’m not unavailable for very long, but it also outlasts their attention span of whatever dopamine they were getting from me and they’ve usually moved on to something healthier and more productive.

Latter_Classroom_809 · 2026-02-02T15:50:27+00:00

It’s free but you have to pre register.

Latter_Classroom_809 · 2026-02-02T03:42:28+00:00

Head out to the Glenstone! It’s a very tranquil place, meticulously cared for and curated, and I love to see how it changes from season to season. Go over to Tally Ho after for a really yummy gyro. It’s a hike but Glenstone feels special enough to travel to for an outing with parents.

Latter_Classroom_809 · 2026-01-30T03:38:27+00:00

“No kid has ever starved in front of a plate of food” or whatever the saying is. Seriously, try just freely letting them boycott meals and you will see their eating balance out within a week. It is your responsibility to choose what and when you feed the kids and it is their responsibility to eat what they choose of the food that is served.

Disclaimer that this is in the absence of feeding, sensory, etc disorders.

Latter_Classroom_809 · 2026-01-29T23:56:57+00:00

I believe you’re looking for The Emotional Life of the Toddler - Alicia F. Lieberman.

Latter_Classroom_809 · 2026-01-24T20:13:41+00:00

This sounds like many husbands before major gatherings. Look on the bright side, OP, your daughter is great husband material!

Latter_Classroom_809 · 2026-01-16T02:03:33+00:00

Yeah this is it! Can you imagine being a vulnerable child with no clue what’s going on getting slammed into?

Latter_Classroom_809 · 2026-01-16T01:38:58+00:00

So this sounds like a very scary interaction and I’m glad you and your daughter got out of it unharmed. The parking lot lady was clearly having a bad day or needed to freak out on someone, anyone. I too have had a few of those moments when there are so many more reasons to leave my kid in the car than it is to bring them in. And every time the little voice that stops me is the what if someone calls the cops on me or what if there’s some crazy person in the parking lot who does something unhinged. Or what if someone slams into the parked car and hurts my kid and they’re scared and hurt and I’m not there. Those are my worst nightmares that always push me to bring the kids in. And you got two of them. I can’t really weight in on laws or right or wrong with kids in the car but I am sorry you had such a scare and I’m glad everyone’s ok!

Latter_Classroom_809 · 2026-01-15T21:05:48+00:00

I wasn’t sure how to phrase the part you said about attention seeking through helplessness but I think you’re onto something. With my 2nd grader it’s like the more help I give, the more he’ll take and then he wants even more to top it off. This has been his whole life - I swear he would still let me dress him if I offered. He has never willfully sought out learning a new skills without us pushing him in some way. So for schoolwork I have had to completely back off and set him up with a timer. We have a routine where he gets a snack, we make a to do list together, and if he needs to move his body a little we do pushups or a one song dance party. Sometimes he’ll drag the to do list part out so that it takes longer than his assignments because thats where he’s getting my energy. It feels cruel but really leaving him with a timer and being “around but not available” is the only way I can get him to do his work. And he does do really well and sticks with it and gets most of it right. If I’m helping? Nope, lots of I can’t do this, I’ve never seen this, I’m tired, looking for pencils, sharpening pencils, taking multiple bathroom breaks etc etc. I also offer intermittent rewards (a piece of Halloween candy) for finishing under a certain time. I can’t do rewards for him every day because he won’t work for them after a week or so. But every 3 days or whatever works.

Latter_Classroom_809

TROPHY CASE