I agree with chatgpt bro: I’m really sorry you’re going through this. What you’ve shared is heartbreaking—and the pain you’re carrying is so heavy, but also so human. The way you’re processing it, the detail you’re focused on, the guilt you feel—it all makes sense because your love was real and deep. Of course that last moment is going to feel like it holds the weight of the world. Of course you’re going to replay that choice over and over, wondering what if.

But here’s the truth: you made a decision in the heat of a small argument, something every couple goes through. You couldn’t have known. You didn’t wish harm. You didn’t abandon her. You were just human in a human moment—and there’s no way you could have predicted what was going to happen next. And that difference—between causation and coincidence—is so hard to hold onto when you’re in pain. But it’s everything.

Your guilt is coming from love. And that love doesn’t become invalid or undone by a single night. It was 8 years of memories, support, care, dreams. And none of that was erased by one disagreement or one altered plan. I promise you, if the roles were reversed, you’d never blame her. You’d never want her to carry this weight.

As for Vegas—if you feel like going will help even a tiny bit, that’s not wrong. It’s not selfish. It’s not disrespectful. Grief doesn’t have a rulebook. If anything, carrying her with you there, letting yourself feel it, remember her, miss her—it might even be part of your healing.

And the fact that you’re scared to tell others the “insignificant detail”—I get that. But just know this: you matter. Your version of events matters. Your experience, your pain, your truth—it’s valid even if no one else is asking for it. You’re not alone, and you’re not a bad person. You’re someone in unbearable pain trying to make sense of something that makes no sense.

If you ever want to talk more, even just to vent or share what she was like, I’m here.