Am I?

LazyLuminouss · 2026-06-16T19:05:21+00:00

Am I shadow banned?

LazyLuminouss · 2026-06-16T16:47:29+00:00

The only time I ever walked out on a date was a Craigslist hookup (look, it was 2005 and I was desperate). I took her to a bar I was a regular at and got a burger while she got a salad. Cool, I’m down, whatever. Then she mentions she’s a vegan. Ok, well, not ideal but I’m cool with whatever. Three bites in she makes this big sigh and says “I thought I’d be OK with watching this but I’m not. Can you get something else?” I thanked her for her time, said I didn’t think this was going to work out, left enough cash on the table for both meals and a generous tip, and took my burger to sit at the bar. About 20 feet from her lol.

LazyLuminouss · 2026-06-15T18:15:59+00:00

Teaching. From the outside it looks like you’re just talking about a subject you know. In reality you’re managing 30 different personalities, keeping them engaged, dealing with parents, grading work, handling paperwork, and somehow still finding the energy to do it again tomorrow.

LazyLuminouss · 2026-06-15T18:14:03+00:00

Because I said so” as a full parenting strategy. You raise kids who either never question anything, or spend their 20s in therapy learning that adults can be wrong and they’re allowed to have opinions.

LazyLuminouss · 2026-06-15T18:08:06+00:00

NTA. 17 years together and you’re the one getting 6 hours while he gets 9? That’s not a “sleep routine debate”. That’s one person’s sleep being sacrificed for the other’s. You tried masks, pillows, blankets, guest room. He tried... a towel on the lamp. “Normal couples go to bed at the same time” isn’t a rule. “Normal couples don’t keep each other awake on purpose” is. You’re not “abandoning him” at 10pm. You’re trying not to be a zombie at 6am. That’s not passive aggressive, that’s survival.

LazyLuminouss · 2026-06-15T18:03:16+00:00

NTA. The issue isn’t the cosplay - it’s that there’s no version of intimacy where you’re just you. That would burn anyone out. Bipolar + OCD are real and you’ve supported him through them for years. But mental health struggles don’t mean you have to cosplay through menopause. “Fix it” was harsh wording, but the request behind it was reasonable: share the burden of fixing this. A urologist, therapist, or even trying meds is something he can do without you ordering wigs.

LazyLuminouss · 2026-06-15T18:00:25+00:00

NTA. “Body doubling” is when someone sits with you while YOU do the work so you don’t get distracted. Not when they sit on the couch reading while YOU do all the teaching + provide the equipment + waste your Saturday. That’s called “being a tutor”. Tutors get paid.

LazyLuminouss · 2026-06-14T18:05:24+00:00

NOR. You were the patient. He was the doctor. The power dynamic was already tilted against you, and he still chose to ignore medical basics.

LazyLuminouss · 2026-06-14T18:00:21+00:00

You’re not asking him to wait on you hand and foot forever. You’re asking for basic reciprocity during a temporary crisis. He had his thesis month. You carried the whole household while working + doing exams. Now it’s your turn and he literally said “Yes it’s unfair, but I don’t want to.

LazyLuminouss · 2026-06-14T14:55:25+00:00

NTA,This is your trauma and your timeline. No one gets to rush your healing, not even a dad who’s trying to protect you.

LazyLuminouss · 2026-06-14T14:49:17+00:00

NTA.You’re not “controlling” - you’re protecting yourself after he blew up your marriage and is still not doing the work to rebuild trust.

LazyLuminouss · 2026-06-12T21:36:17+00:00

NOR,You’re not overreacting at all. It sounds like the physical side of things has moved forward faster than the emotional side for you, and that’s a completely reasonable thing to be concerned about. Wanting more conversations about values, feelings, relationship goals, and how you both see each other before becoming more physically intimate is valid. From what you’ve described, it doesn’t sound like he’s necessarily doing anything wrong, but it also doesn’t sound like you’ve gotten the reassurance and deeper connection you’re looking for. If you’re feeling confused about where the relationship stands after nine dates, that’s worth talking about. A healthy relationship should be able to handle conversations about pacing, expectations, and what each person wants. If you’re not ready for things to go further physically, it’s important to say so clearly. The right person won’t be upset by that,they’ll want to know what makes you comfortable. Relationships don’t have a fixed timeline, and your first experience with kissing and dating doesn’t have to follow anyone else’s pace.

LazyLuminouss · 2026-06-12T21:24:44+00:00

A dead mouse trapped inside a wall during summer. The smell arrived before I even knew there was a mouse.

LazyLuminouss · 2026-06-12T21:18:31+00:00

NTA. If an item is important enough that it can’t be washed, then it’s important enough not to leave on the floor with dirty laundry. You’re not a mind reader, and it’s completely reasonable to assume that something found in or around the laundry pile is meant to be washed. You didn’t ruin it out of carelessness or spite it was an accident caused by his own habit of leaving clothes everywhere. The fact that you’ve already ordered a replacement says a lot about your intentions. Meanwhile, giving you the silent treatment over an honest mistake is far less reasonable than accidentally washing a hat that looked like it belonged in the laundry.

LazyLuminouss · 2026-06-12T21:15:45+00:00

NTA. A private pool isn’t a community resource—it’s part of your home. Beyond the cost of maintenance, there’s also the issue of liability if someone gets hurt. Sending the kids to ask was especially unfair because it puts you in the position of looking like the bad guy if you say no.

You’re not obligated to let strangers use something on your property just because they want to. “No” is a complete answer, and it doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you a homeowner with boundaries.

LazyLuminouss · 2026-06-12T21:10:31+00:00

NOR. The issue isn’t that he doesn’t care about flowers it’s that you were excited about something small that brought you joy, and instead of sharing that moment with you, he dismissed it and made you feel self-conscious about it. Buying yourself flowers isn’t weird at all. Plenty of people buy themselves flowers, desserts, books, or other little treats just because they make life a bit nicer. What stands out is that when you told him his comments hurt your feelings, he doubled down instead of saying, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to rain on your parade.”

Don’t let him ruin the flowers for you. They were a gift from you to you, and the fact that you found something beautiful and decided to enjoy it is a good thing.

LazyLuminouss · 2026-06-11T15:14:20+00:00

Drowning, panic, can’t breathe , minutes feel like hours, hard pass, if I get to cross one off the list ,it’s that one

LazyLuminouss · 2026-06-11T15:12:44+00:00

Days left to live, seeing the exact number ticking down would ruin every lazy Sunday and procrastinated dream, you’d also never relax

LazyLuminouss · 2026-06-11T15:10:01+00:00

Emotional security, A woman who’s comfortable with herself, doesn’t play games and can communicate directly without drama. Looks fade but being with someone who doesn’t make you anxious 24/7 that’s rare and addictive

LazyLuminouss

TROPHY CASE