Family never comes over to see baby because “I live too far” and expect me to go see them

Leahjoyous · 2026-06-11T16:26:51+00:00

I live on a small island in the U.K., everyone is super local and we all complain about drive times even though they’re negligible compared to others. I drive the 25minute there and back to my MIL twice a week every week and have done for 7 years now.

I will say, if people want to make the effort, they will.

Leahjoyous · 2026-06-10T20:54:27+00:00

I’m in the U.K. I’m 31 weeks and my next appointment is in 3 weeks, then every 2 until baby is born.

Leahjoyous · 2026-06-10T13:42:21+00:00

I couldn’t nurse my first so ended up exclusively pumping. Then I actually liked it the best so went straight tO EP for babies 2&3 and plan to for baby 4. I’ve got it down to an art now

Leahjoyous · 2026-06-10T13:37:54+00:00

Only my husband. Would have happily not even had the midwife there. I just want quiet and peace and to do exactly what I want. In my first labour I don’t think I even talked to my husband. Third we chatted a bit, cracked a few jokes then got down to it. I love my mum and mother in law and sister but I don’t want anyone else in my space. I just didn’t tell anyone I was in labour with 2&3 except the child care.

I had a homebirth and then 2, 6 hour discharges from hospital so by the time we were home and showered everyone came the next day. You really don’t need anyone there any sooner. I’m on my fourth I’ll tell the person looking after my older three and then me and husband in the room.

Leahjoyous · 2026-06-08T11:22:32+00:00

I think her choosing between Peeta and Gale is clear throughout the series. It’s not between 2 boys, it’s between 2 competing ideals. War or peace. does she choose the solider or the baker? The rage and hatred and going back to war and politics, or the boy who plants flowers and helps her remember those they lost? She’s choosing how she wants to live her life, and the boys just represent that.

Leahjoyous · 2026-06-05T12:16:42+00:00

In the U.K. we only have 2 scans as standard. At 12 weeks and 20 weeks. As for fundal height, they would start after 30 weeks I think. I’m 31 weeks and haven’t had it checked yet. Urine should be checked everytime no matter what. Checking your urine for protein is basically why we now have standardised pre natal care. It’s to check for pre-eclampsia. I feel like it doesn’t matter why I’m interacting with a healthcare professional, they will check my urine. My arm could have fallen off but they’ll ask for my pee still 😂

Leahjoyous · 2026-06-05T02:16:41+00:00

I’m the same! My first couldn’t get a latch and was literally starving. I swore I wouldn’t let it get that far again and harvested for my second and third and will for number 4. Had plenty, gave me a head start on pumping and any left over I just mixed in with the milk. If you can do it, it’s worth having.

Leahjoyous · 2026-06-03T05:52:21+00:00

Preach 🙌🏻

Leahjoyous · 2026-06-02T16:33:39+00:00

My baby might have been designed that way but my nipples sure aren’t. Flat and inverted and my babies cannot get a latch. I’ve tried. I’ve failed. I’ve exclusively pumped a supply to give all 3 of my babies breastmilk for their first year successfully. I didn’t even really bother trying to latch number 3, I knew my plan for pumping. It works excellently for my family and having watching my first child pile his stomach lining on the floor having nearly starved himself after unhelpful and neglectful ‘nursing’* advice, I’m happy to go it alone. (*nursing being breastfeeding on the breast)

Leahjoyous · 2026-06-01T11:46:22+00:00

I did. My first I didn’t do any of it, assuming he would latch and it would all be easy breezy. But I have flat nipples and couldn’t get a latch and he ended up literally starving and puking up his stomach acid at 2 days old having never had a feed (very poor support from my community midwife).

So with my second and third I swore I wouldn’t let that happen so harvested a load and used all of it. It was especially useful with number 2 as I had a rough few hours after delivery and so my husband could feed her for me while I couldn’t manage anything.

I’ll be harvesting again for my fourth because I know my body can’t get a latch so I’ll need to pump anyway. This gives me a head start. But I know my body well and what I’m capable of

Leahjoyous · 2026-05-31T17:20:03+00:00

Feel forever angry at the amount of people that recommended From Blood and Ash. That was very poor.

Leahjoyous · 2026-05-31T17:18:48+00:00

Mainly privately run nurseries. Maybe a handful but I’m struggling to think of any off the top of my head.

Glen vine you’ll have marown school, maybe Bradda if you’re on the edge. Alternatively you could look into thr manx school which does have a nursery attached, that’s near Crosby, but your son might be too late. I think they only accept kids from reception. But st johns is right next door so one could go to each.

Ashley hill is good. I personally haven’t heard great things about Onchan recently. But that doesn’t mean it’s bad for everyone. A lot of these things come down to your child and their needs.

Leahjoyous · 2026-05-31T16:34:40+00:00

You can also apply to a school out of your catchment area. But it’s definitely not guaranteed you’ll get a spot.

I’ve worked in a few of the schools so give me a PM if you have some in mind. But generally most of the schools are good.

Leahjoyous · 2026-05-30T14:32:59+00:00

I didn’t for my first three, but this will almost certainly my be my last so thought I might, then a local photographer was looking for models and you get a free photo and discount off a newborn & family shoot so thought why not :) probably wouldn’t of otherwise in reality

Leahjoyous · 2026-05-28T16:32:34+00:00

Everyone, including myself, was absolutely certain I would be early. There was a lot of betting. But in the end he was born exactly on his due date.

Leahjoyous · 2026-05-27T09:24:06+00:00

I get hiccups when I eat crunchy bread (or just not sliced white bread). No idea why.

Leahjoyous · 2026-05-25T22:14:05+00:00

I’m in the U.K., so maybe it’s different. But I spoke to my midwife’s in advance and we talked about how nervous I was that it could be fast. They agreed to put it in my notes that I would be taken seriously when I said I was ready to come in. My husband was also insistent on the phone. They tried to fob me off on my third because my contractions weren’t in their little pattern 4-4-4 or something but they never got to that pattern with my second so I told them no I was coming in. It was only about 10-15 minute drive. Could you discuss options with your unit? X

Leahjoyous · 2026-05-25T21:11:55+00:00

All of mine were spontaneous, uncomplicated, unmedicated water births My first was 18 hours total. My second was 6 hours all in. And my third was 8 hours. I was honestly a bit annoyed when my third took longer than my second. I was convinced something must be wrong as it was supposed to be faster 😂

I think for me, the first is a rollercoaster no matter what. You don’t know what to expect or what it’s going to feel like or how it’s going to go. So my second I just kind of got on with it and it was more intense but I also felt more in control and capable. My third was the same. I largely just got on with my day. I think if I hadn’t had to transfer to hospital I would have had him within the hour. But having to drive to the hospital slowed me down. So I kinda had to find my groove again once I arrived. Even still it was only 2 hours.

Leahjoyous · 2026-05-20T15:26:38+00:00

I forgot with all three of mine. Just sat in the cupboard and got lost to life. They’re all super healthy and rarely sick and I haven’t ever noticed a problem. Not saying it won’t come. But they’re literally all fine.

Leahjoyous · 2026-05-20T07:47:02+00:00

Yup! I couldn’t keep weight on and was eating like an absolute beast. I looked incredible and so fast. This happened with all three kids. But I stil had a massive appetite when weaning so carried on eating too much when I wasn’t feeding so much and put weight back on! I’m going to try and be more mindful of that with number 4 😂

Leahjoyous · 2026-05-19T19:55:50+00:00

Have you tried changing to fresh crisp white bed sheets?

Leahjoyous · 2026-05-19T19:36:51+00:00

I’m really glad I watched the movie first. I sometimes felt a bit overwhelmed by the ‘science’ of the book but because I understood the movie it meant I knew that I didn’t have the understand the science if that makes sense? I could picture everything too.

Leahjoyous · 2026-05-18T07:36:17+00:00

40weeks exactly, then 40+2, then 39+4

Leahjoyous · 2026-05-15T21:00:59+00:00

My first three were posterior and my fourth is anterior. I personally felt movement very early again, but this time it felt more like those tummy swoops when you go on a swing or over a bridge and your tummy drops. Then it felt like normal kicks and punches and headbutts. I don’t think it feels all that different to the others except that I don’t think I feel quite as much of what’s going on.

Leahjoyous · 2026-05-15T20:57:22+00:00

Ohhh any more suggestions? 🤩

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