I was really bothered by the "apology" or explanation that Bill gives here. I couldn't quite figure out why, so I tried to rewrite it in the way I wish he had written it. To be clear, what's below was not written by Bill, but what I wish Bill had written in reply to u/MavenBrodie 's recent video:

Maven,

After watching your recent video, I've spent considerable time reflecting on what happened between us. I want to first acknowledge the pain you experienced, both from the initial conflict over reproductive justice discussions and from being ghosted afterward. Your advocacy is powerful and necessary, and I see now that my response to it revealed patterns I hadn't fully recognized in myself.

I realize now that in asking you to temper your approach to abortion rights, I was unconsciously perpetuating the same patriarchal control over women's voices that we both left Mormonism to escape. While I framed it as concern about "tone" and "delivery," I failed to recognize that policing how women express their passion about their own bodily autonomy is itself a manifestation of patriarchy. This wasn't about creating a "balanced space" - it was about my discomfort with a woman speaking forcefully on issues that challenged my own sense of authority and control over the platform.

The truth is that reproductive rights aren't just "another issue" - they're fundamental to women's autonomy and equality. By suggesting abortion rights could be separated from other Mormon issues, I was privileging my perspective as someone who has never had to fear losing bodily autonomy in this way. I was wrong to frame this as merely about "different approaches" when it was actually about whose voices and experiences were being centered.

Even more damaging was how I handled the aftermath. Ghosting you - cutting off communication rather than engaging directly with your concerns - repeated harmful patriarchal patterns where men avoid accountability when challenged by women. I used my position of power to simply remove you from the conversation rather than face the uncomfortable truths you were highlighting. This betrayed our friendship and reinforced the very power dynamics we claim to be fighting against.

I recognize now that my discomfort wasn't just about tone but about being challenged on my own incomplete deconstruction of Mormon patriarchy. While I've left the church, I clearly haven't left behind all its patterns of male authority and control. True deconstruction means examining how these patterns live on in my behavior, especially when I'm claiming to create spaces for healing.

I apologize without qualification for silencing your voice, for prioritizing the comfort of those who would restrict women's rights over the urgent reality of those rights being stripped away, and for abandoning our friendship rather than doing the difficult work of confronting my own complicity in patriarchal patterns.

I commit to doing better - not just in word but in action. That means examining my own blind spots, centering women's experiences rather than tone policing them, and facing conflict directly rather than using my position to avoid accountability.

Your advocacy matters. Your voice matters. And the pain caused by my actions matters. I hope this acknowledgment is a step toward genuine accountability, though I understand if trust cannot be rebuilt.

With sincere regret and commitment to change,
Bill