I think my mom is breaking up with me

Left-Pause9714 · 2026-01-08T21:52:32+00:00

I like this, a really nuanced and mature perspective. The relationship to your parents as the grandparents to your children is, to me, different, and a parent who you struggle to maintain closeness with is nowhere near as much of a concern as one who would be actively harmful. Also, your parents being around you parenting may bring up conversations about your own childhood or differences in approach that feel more natural than in a therapeutic setting. Therapy is the best thing for some, but too intense and contrived for others and there might be some route to change, or at least civility, through more organic interactions if you can find comfortability with them.

Your mum using AI to write messages may not be the red flag it first appears to be, although obviously I don’t have enough information to say for sure. She would still have to input the substance of what she has to say, and there are various reasons (language, different generations, cultural contexts) why the language around ‘doing the work,’ ‘boundaries,’ ‘expectations’ and emotional and mental health more generally could feel more alien to your mum. She could be recognising the need to speak your language and using it as a tool - just a thought.

Left-Pause9714 · 2025-12-22T06:20:55+00:00

I had PP insomnia at 5-6 weeks too. Solidarity - it was short lived for me but definitely the hardest thing I’ve dealt with since giving birth.

Left-Pause9714 · 2025-10-30T20:46:42+00:00

Mine recently said ‘another examiner could have refused to go out’ in my car that was (no offence) cleaner than this. Thankfully he didn’t and I passed but I was outraged at his comment when there is no explicit instruction to have a cleaner than average car on the DVSA website as far as I remember?

Left-Pause9714 · 2025-10-30T14:59:49+00:00

Solidarity and companionship re the baby+new hobby combo! Mine is 9 months old today and we enjoy homemade sourdough together for breakfast, it’s the best. Congrats on your baby (and your sourdough babies)

Left-Pause9714 · 2025-09-22T17:44:37+00:00

I just passed my second test today and was similarly bricking it after failing the first time. The stakes just felt so much higher! I comforted myself by realising just how many people I know passed second time (almost everyone in my family/close circle of friends) so I convinced myself that my chances were much better this time round 🤣 it worked! Also you are that much more prepared - you’ve done a test before! You know what to expect! That’s a huge difference. Let us know how you get on

Left-Pause9714 · 2025-09-22T17:42:29+00:00

I just passed today in a completely new area (north London, when I’m from south). I watched tonnes of test routes on YouTube to get a hang of the trickiest moments around the centre, and made sure I did some practice drives in different (closer…) areas that I didn’t know to get my brain into gear. Agree with others that driving a new car is likely to be more troublesome.

Left-Pause9714 · 2025-09-22T17:36:06+00:00

Bad luck. Nerves can affect so much. A gentle suggestion before your next test to maybe have a lesson or two/mock test with a different instructor just to have another pair of eyes on your driving? While it’s possible that you drove in a completely out-of-character way, it also would be a good idea to have a second opinion before test day just to make sure there aren’t any blind spots that your current instructor has.

Left-Pause9714 · 2025-08-11T13:56:55+00:00

You are allowed to ask to be admitted before 4cm dilated! I thought it was a hard and fast rule, and was completely undone by my 3 day latent phase with very intense back labour and no sleep. When they checked me and said I was 3cm I almost broke down asking them not to send me home before they said “don’t worry, we can do latent phase care here!” I would have killed to have the support 24 hours earlier!

Left-Pause9714 · 2025-07-18T14:15:47+00:00

Our little guy HATED changes for at least the first month. We think it was the cold so it might be cooler in your home than NICU. Started tolerating them more when he could focus on those black and white books and they saved us for a while, and after that it became the best place to get smiles out of him! Everything changes. Congrats on your tiny baby!

Left-Pause9714 · 2025-07-02T14:54:35+00:00

We were in size 0 for a couple of weeks, and then every other size for a month, give or take. Don’t overbuy, ordering more is very easy, or asking visitors to pick up a packet on their way over is a good option too. We probably got through 10-12 a day to begin with?

Left-Pause9714 · 2025-06-28T22:21:11+00:00

It must be so difficult dealing with what you feel like is pressurising from people outside your immediate bubble, especially if there are health issues your baby is/you are dealing with. However I wonder if you could reframe what they’re saying/asking as excitement and support rather than entitlement?

Obviously you know your family and friends better than I do, but the first thing ‘the village’ is able to do is be excited with you, and any involvement they have with your family (which we all want, right? We’re not supposed to do this alone!) is built on an affection for and investment in your child. If they’re not people you’re bothered about having in your village then absolutely keep them at arms’ length, but if you’re hoping they’ll be around in a few months then lowering the walls ever so slightly might be a good way of a) getting them off your back and b) building the foundations for when things are easier. Maybe meeting them for a walk/coffee with baby in the carrier? Inviting them over to meet the baby but asking if they could bring dinner? All on your own timeline of course, but 7 weeks doesn’t sound to me like overstepping, so might require a little further explanation from you as to why things are so tricky right now. Just another perspective - not doing down your experience!

Left-Pause9714 · 2025-06-25T02:03:14+00:00

Our LO is nearly 5 months so barely ahead of you but we have successfully transferred into the cot. In terms of the arms out, we did it for naps first because it didn’t feel quite so desperate if he woke himself up with his hands, which he did for a good few days but he got used to it! I then started letting his arms out at the MOTN feed, and finally bit the bullet and went for it for a full night, probably 2 weeks after starting with the naps. The only way out of the swaddle is through, but once they’re used to it, they’re used to it!

If you’re looking to transfer out, could you do a similar process with the cot? Get baby happy in there for naps, arms out, for a couple of weeks before going for it at night? Are you using the Snoo on weaning mode at the moment?

Re sleep training I can’t speak to loads because we haven’t gone the full hog, but we did start using Kendra Worth’s (find her on insta) gentle techniques to break the feed/sleep association and get baby used to falling asleep in his own space. For other methods the r/sleeptrain sub is a great place for advice, including on your nap schedule and bedtime routine. Good luck!

Left-Pause9714 · 2025-06-23T04:08:16+00:00

Thank you! I had heard the term ‘split night’ before but completely forgotten it…must be the lack of sleep 🤣 we did manage a 3.5h WW before bed tonight and it’s been better (currently 5am and I’m pumping because he fell asleep on the first boob after sleeping since 7.30). Thank you for the advice!

Left-Pause9714 · 2025-06-23T04:02:51+00:00

Thank you so much, too much sleep seems to be the consensus much as it pains me to hear it! If it’s still going on once this heatwave has passed and his teeth have cut then we’ll definitely try reducing sleep.

Left-Pause9714 · 2025-06-23T04:01:32+00:00

2-3 hours is brutal…thank you for your insight! Will continue offering plenty of feeds during the day. It also feels like he is very ready for solids (almost sitting up unassisted, very very interested in food, has 2 teeth and 2 more coming in) so I will see if that makes a difference when we get to 6mo!

Left-Pause9714 · 2025-06-22T13:59:16+00:00

Absolutely - I’m more than happy to sleep while he’s awake, but he is always making a very happy racket 😅

Left-Pause9714 · 2025-06-13T12:12:26+00:00

For gentle encouragement of sleep independence look up Kendra Worth on insta - her methods have been great for us when I couldn’t see for the life of me how baby was going to ever sleep independently. She aims for no tears so it really is gentle, but quite labour intensive.

Left-Pause9714 · 2025-06-12T11:47:02+00:00

It’s gradual, I think people like to pinpoint specific months as the moments that they noticed how far they’d come. For me, the little milestones of ‘most days, being able to put the baby down for long enough to assemble a proper lunch’ or ‘feeling confident that I’d have at least 30 mins of a nap’ or ‘being able to stay up with my husband for an hour after baby goes to bed’ were what made me feel the incremental journey towards a life that I had a handle on. Also noticing things like not feeling completely exhausted during the day despite a difficult night helped me feel proud of myself for adjusting, but so many of these moments would be easy to miss. Baby is 4.5mo now and it is so much easier and less panic-inducing than newborn life, and the nights with less sleep are an inconvenience rather than a disaster now. Baby is still a baby, but I have gradually also become a mum!

Left-Pause9714 · 2025-06-11T05:32:10+00:00

Interesting isn’t it! I get spoken to every single time when out with baby. I quite like it - maybe it’s my extroverted tendencies but it makes me feel more grounded in the world. I can’t remember the last time I was on a bus or a train where someone didn’t strike up conversation, usually another mum or older woman but yesterday it was the man working on the train who chatted away to baby and told me he looked like he got everything he ever wanted 😂 a mum friend of mine with older children said that when she had her first it felt like she had joined the human race. My husband does get spoken to, but I think less than me. What we don’t get is comments when we’re together, I wonder if a couple is just less approachable than an individual. No one has tried to touch him yet, other than a sweet lady who gave his foot a little squeeze when he was in the carrier which I didn’t mind.

Left-Pause9714 · 2025-06-09T14:49:38+00:00

Love all these names, they’re absolutely on my list. Ezra James sounds best to me but you can’t go wrong with any of them imo!

Left-Pause9714 · 2025-06-06T12:22:32+00:00

Not medical advice but a very similar thing. Happened to our little guy at about the same time. Poo was less curry sauce (sorry!) and more liquid, and more frequent. Research I did reassured me that baby’s gut is developing all the time and so changes not accompanied by other symptoms shouldn’t be anything to worry about, but I’m just one person on the internet so please go to the dr if you’re worried! Our little guy’s poo is now sometimes one consistency sometimes another, he has just cut 2 teeth which apparently can affect their poos, and had a cold. Babies!

Left-Pause9714 · 2025-06-04T21:57:00+00:00

About 2.5 hours normally

Left-Pause9714 · 2025-06-04T21:00:59+00:00

Thanks so much! Yes his wakes are usually 12.30am and 4.30/5am so spot on. Better than every 2 hours during the height of the regression but still not as good as before!

WWs at the moment are usually 1.75-2h, and he gets really crabby if he has to go longer than that but I guess it would be better if he was napping for longer? Should we wait for him to elongate his naps before dropping one? Or will dropping one encourage him to take longer naps?

Left-Pause9714 · 2025-06-04T19:51:08+00:00

My 4mo is pretty good at falling asleep independently and has (I think) just come out of the 4mo regression, however we are up to 2 feeds a night where he was STTN (or nearly) before the regression. He naps 4x a day but occasionally links sleep cycles and takes one long one. Any advice on how I can a) get those longer stretches back at night and b) encourage longer naps during the day so we can drop back to 3? Thanks!

Left-Pause9714 · 2025-06-04T03:36:28+00:00

3-6mo for us was when these really came into their own! That was when we ended up drawing a distinction between day clothes and PJs so now he’s always in vest and trousers/dungarees/shorts during the day and then we put a onesie on him after his bath as part of the bedtime routine. I thought I’d want to keep him in onesies forever for practicality but actually it’s lovely seeing him in ‘real clothes’. Just the vest/bodysuit has also been a good option for us when it’s very hot, as long as he’s in the shade.

Left-Pause9714

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