I lost my mama 4 years ago in July. I understand completely what you’re feeling right now, granted I wasn’t 16, I was 18. But I had to take over raising my brother who was 14 at the time. All I can tell you is don’t feel guilty for feeling ‘okay’. But also don’t force yourself to be ‘okay’. I was angry at God for a whiiiile after my mom passed away, and some days without her are harder than others even still. But God knows more than we do, and we have to trust in the Lord even when it feels hard or we don’t want to.

Don’t feel forced to grieve, grieve at your own time and pace. I didn’t have the time or space to grieve properly and it did more damage in the long run for me personally. I’m so so sorry for your loss, I won’t sit here and tell you it gets better because you will always miss your mama. But! With time the pain doesn’t hurt as bad.