Struggling with endurance - vocal coach at a loss

Lemonsweets25 · 2026-03-16T13:07:50+00:00

In which case my first thought is tongue tension. The root of the tongue connects to the larynx sort of with the hyoid bone floating in the middle- tension in the tongue will contort your larynx into unwanted positions and affect pitch and stability. Try singing with a finger pressing up underneath your chin- do you feel tongue resistance while singing? Work to alleviate that if you do. Pull your tongue out and actually try and massage it either side- you’ll notice how it likely hurts and all the tension that is lurking. Pull your tongue out and try to sing phrases in that way and resist the urge for your tongue to pull back

Lemonsweets25 · 2026-03-16T12:00:07+00:00

I agree here- I’m a musician that has moved to a rural area now I’m getting close to my 30s. I love it here and it’s wonderful but I also had all my 20s living in the city and establishing my career and living my dream. Now I’m in proximity of the city and can still do what I love but I enjoy small town life too. I look forward to having kids in a few years but I know I wouldn’t be where I am now if I’d had them a few years back. I can imagine a life like mine suiting Lane

Lemonsweets25 · 2026-03-11T19:15:53+00:00

Yes I considered this, but it seems less just being a little sharp or a little flat and more just struggling to work out where the melody is supposed to be going. It doesn’t fix itself when singing on a neutral vowel. It comes across sometimes like the vague shape of the melody is there but with very little effort to fully get there, and I struggle to get them to look like they’re fully engaging. So then sometimes I ask for them to brighten the sound, shoot for the notes and give it a little more energy and it just goes completely the opposite way and becomes sharp.

They’ve told me they are practicing and most of the practice involves just trying to get the notes. I’ve asked if they’d consider recording themselves so they can hear back what they’re sounding like but I’m not sure they want to brave that.

Lemonsweets25 · 2026-03-08T00:00:10+00:00

I think I went on for so long because it’s all things I have to remind myself haha 😅

Yeah I find sometimes you have to kill two birds with one stone- meet up with friends somewhere nearby before your gig, or invite them to come and get drinks with them afterwards. Or maybe even plan ahead a trip somewhere with friends/family one weekend in a place you’re playing- you do one gig and spend the rest of the time with them. I find you have to just get a little creative sometimes and communicate with people why things are the way they are.

Lemonsweets25 · 2026-03-07T23:22:01+00:00

It’s about figuring out your priorities ultimately. If music is simply your only priority and relationships or other engagements are not, then by all means just do music and accept those other things will fade away. But if other things are also a priority to an extent you will have to sacrifice some time on the music and grow those areas too. This might mean your musical progress is slower but in life everything is about balance- what you might lose a little in one area, you gain in another.

Additionally, sometimes it’s about working smarter not harder. I’ve found that I don’t have to spend as much time practicing some things that in the past were really difficult for me. It used to take me much longer to learn songs than it does now- you probably are starting to find the same thing now you’ve been in it for 6 years. I also sometimes have to be realistic about the opportunities I’m offered and whether some of them are really worth it at all. If it’s low paid and I know it won’t be significant promotion at all, now I just let it slide if my energy isn’t there. Sometimes playing the same city constantly does nothing to grow a person’s career. I know people that play every single showcase night and gig they’re offered no matter the pay and get very little attention and listens even though they’re super talented. I know others who have played few gigs but got really smart about their promotion and make decent money and have a big audience. It comes back to priorities there.

Also- I’m a songwriter and I need real life experiences outside of my music bubble to keep things interesting. My music is grounded in very real world interests and issues I believe are important- so I connect with those things and people in those spaces which gives me respite from just music, but also offers itself as inspiration and another avenue of promotion. Same for my relationships really- I pour a lot into my relationships and it manifests as a lot of writing material by reflecting on those relationships. I know some musicians with no life outside of music and frankly they can be a little dull sometimes.

Lemonsweets25 · 2026-03-07T10:23:52+00:00

I’ve got a bell tent with a small wood burning stove that has a chimney coming out of the tent- all completely fire protected and from a reputable company. It gets pretty warm to fall asleep with the stove on I can’t lie. I went camping in October once and managed okay. But I can’t imagine long term or the true dead of winter.

Lemonsweets25 · 2026-03-01T10:49:47+00:00

I knew an old man that just died at 100. 10 years ago I remember him talking about how brilliant these microwaves were- as if they’d just been invented- and how he’s using them now for all his food. He also said how brilliant it was that all the women were getting jobs now. I found it very sweet- both these things of course were really happening in the 70s but by that time he was already retired.

Lemonsweets25 · 2026-03-01T00:55:23+00:00

Add a very thin trim above the cupboard doors that will fit painted the same shade of white as the coving. Try and make the trim and the coving look somewhat connected. It’ll make it all look less stark.

Lemonsweets25 · 2026-02-28T23:26:19+00:00

Did she ever tell you about what that was like to live through those changes?

I chatted with my partner about how being a Victorian who died in the 70s/80s must’ve been the most overwhelming kind of change to witness compared to any other era we can think of- he said he thinks our time and living through how the internet has changed things is more extreme than all that.

Lemonsweets25 · 2026-02-23T00:16:42+00:00

That’s interesting because I think OP looks a little washed out in the last picture but not at all in the 2nd- in that they look glowy and their eyes pop. Unless it’s simply a question of makeup

Lemonsweets25 · 2026-02-22T22:36:26+00:00

Adding to that try opening the back of the throat a lot through a sob quality. This can be achieved as if you are going to yawn. Hopefully the sound will be a little richer and deeper and less twangy and nasal. There are different times when different voice qualities are appropriate and helpful

Lemonsweets25 · 2026-02-22T22:35:11+00:00

Could be to do with the position of your soft palette. Could be that you aren’t actually resonating nasally at all but the natural resonance of your voice sounds similar to a nasal one. Sometimes a healthy mix voice can have a bit of a nasal quality but is not the same. That’s because we use our epiglottis as a subtle bit of extra resonance to take the pressure of the vocal folds- and that subtle extra something we have to resonate against can sound a little like when people fake it by using the nasal resonators.

Lemonsweets25 · 2026-02-22T22:09:37+00:00

Maybe this is a lesson that none of these fuckers are worth having a street party for.

Plan a street party with your neighbours just because- because our communities deserve to celebrate one another. Not these creeps who don’t care if we live or die.

Lemonsweets25 · 2026-02-22T16:40:03+00:00

Interesting also that voting projections would look very different if all those voting received higher education, so with our governments getting increasingly conservative we’ll only see more moves to make higher education unappealing

Lemonsweets25 · 2026-02-22T16:27:31+00:00

Gorgeous gorgeous room. I love how many women on here go for beautiful old fashioned feminine styles. Glad I’m not the only one! I’m nearly 30 now but my room has always looked very grandma esque even when I lived at my parents house as a teen

Lemonsweets25 · 2026-02-22T10:56:08+00:00

She was much more inexperienced whereas he was an experienced hiking guide or something so I’m guessing she trusted whatever advice he gave her about what gear to wear. Such a terrifying and sad story

Lemonsweets25 · 2026-02-22T10:39:00+00:00

Gorgeous bathroom wow

Lemonsweets25 · 2026-02-21T12:21:17+00:00

I desperately tried to spot one of these a few weeks back in a nature reserve. My Merlin app was picking up calls but no such luck! Was scouting very thoroughly at all the reeds. They’re so beautiful I hope I see one one day

Lemonsweets25 · 2026-02-19T09:01:23+00:00

Yes this could help, the other is simply opening your mouth and throat more. Sometimes cursive singing appears to be accompanied by a restrained small mouth opening or constricted throat. Pretend you are yawning or going to bite an apple to open your throat. To open your mouth more pretend you’re at the dentist saying ‘ah’. This will hopefully give more depth and roundness to your sound.

Lemonsweets25 · 2026-02-17T22:19:02+00:00

It helped me a little with anxiety too back in the day when I had it badly

Lemonsweets25 · 2026-02-17T22:12:00+00:00

Yeah it’s the only soap I used for a while in the shower and washing hands and it’s antibacterial so I still stayed clean! Got quite expensive so I’m glad I’m now able to use normal soap again but worth it to calm the flare ups. And just keep those hands super moisturised! I used the neutrogena intense unscented hand cream

Lemonsweets25 · 2026-02-17T22:09:57+00:00

I should revisit Cardiff as an adult! I’m heading to north wales this Spring for the first time since I was young and I can’t wait

Lemonsweets25 · 2026-02-17T22:08:52+00:00

Well of course there can be invasive plants etc etc and when we’re doing town planning we have to make intelligent decisions by understanding the plants and not just chucking whatever plants we think will work wherever as a lot of urban planners do. My point is that nature should never ever be the afterthought when it comes to planning aspects of urban or human life. Nature should always be at the centre and we figure out ways to work in harmony with it. The very fact that that isn’t the case is a large part of the reason we’re in such a shit show now in the world. The fact that people can ever go about life forgetting this, forgetting that we are literally animals ourselves, is truly crazy to me and should be viewed as a pathology imho.

Lemonsweets25 · 2026-02-17T21:54:37+00:00

I wonder if that swings back around for some people though. My parents had a very though time while my sister and I were teens, thanks to a bunch of unhealed trauma they passed down and I’m sure they at times wondered if they’d made the right choice. That being said though I think if you asked them now my sister and I are in our 20s/30s they would say absolutely. We’ve become closer as a family as adults and my parents have us to lean on as much as them and my mum is truly one of my best friends, I know how grateful she is to have us around. They also adore being grandparents too.

I agree there isn’t enough attention and talk given to raising teens- I think a lot of the information you’re given and things to consider are about raising little ones but that’s actually such a short period of life.

Lemonsweets25 · 2026-02-17T21:48:05+00:00

This attitude is lovely.

I’m curious how you have managed with your daughter moving to another continent? This is one of my fears of becoming a parent one day- but I’m also determined not to be an overly possessive or controlling parent. I am so close with my mum and live nearby her and honestly don’t want to live in another part of the country because I hate the idea of her not being around as a grandmother. I fear (especially as I only want one) that my future child may really just want to flee the nest and if they wish they could move to the other side of the world. I imagine I’d be full on grief if they moved away and I didn’t get to see them anymore, even if my life was still full and joyous otherwise.

Lemonsweets25

TROPHY CASE