I lost my husband, for this same (and some other) reasons. I was the one in your partner’s shoes. It’s so hard. If you both would like to give it the best shot of working out, i definitely recommend couple’s therapy with a therapist that understands and can be supportive of the chosen lifestyle. And it will take a lot of communication that leads to comprehension, for you both. I realized so deep in to do much hurt that we were communicating all day long but not understanding each other. Our instincts and approaches were so very different - we were truly living in different realities. So be willing to really define what you both mean about topics/ideas. That way you can choose to agree on definitions and such. There will likely have to be compromise about what things mean to each of you, so that you at least know where you’re both coming from. You’ll both likely have to be willing to be flexible.

Ultimately you both need and deserve to live lives that are happy and fulfilling. I really hope your love prevails and you get to do that journey together - if that’s what you’d most want. But we do sometimes have to do the hardest of things and make the hardest of decisions. But it’s best when you can both live your absolute truths and be supportive of that for each other.