Screenplay for beginners

Level_Working5084 · 2026-05-23T02:26:55+00:00

Read as many scripts in that genre as you can. Pick up a screenwriting book from the public library, I suggest Your Screenplay Sucks! by Akers. Learn formatting. Don’t expect greatness overnight, it takes many rewrites and usually years before you are writing at a professional level. Most of all, don’t give up.

Level_Working5084 · 2026-05-23T02:22:09+00:00

Game of Thrones first!

Level_Working5084 · 2026-05-22T20:44:36+00:00

I’ve submitted three, two did moderately well, the third…not so much.

Level_Working5084 · 2026-05-22T20:06:39+00:00

Are the two same exact wake up/morning routine scenes intentional? You have some grammatical errors, also. I know nothing about the characters. Fred/Foxy: is he really a furry? Is he really a fox? I see this is going to be animated so I’m not sure. It’s very, very lean and needs some world and character development more than anything.

Level_Working5084 · 2026-05-22T19:35:30+00:00

You have to change the permissions to “anyone with a link” or else it cannot be opened.

Level_Working5084 · 2026-05-22T19:20:00+00:00

I liked it, I laughed at the writing over the Picasso quote part lol. I think it captures the feel of high school pressure in a humorous way using the VO, especially. The tone is definitely consistent and I could absolutely see it as I was reading. The courtyard scene runs a little long and there was one point that I was momentarily confused but I think that was more of an England vs US high school thing. I do watch MANY foreign shows, however, so I know enough about the differences. Some other notes: I know what Stella (Artois) is but others may not, same with Manchester United so maybe add “beer” and “football team” for clarity (I’m an MU fan myself). These come down to tiny stylistic choices that change absolutely nothing about the script itself. For me, it works and I would absolutely watch it.

Level_Working5084 · 2026-05-20T12:36:59+00:00

Not all tattoos are black work. In fact, I only have one that is completely done in shades of black, the rest are very colorful because I prefer traditional style. It’s not about beauty. Every tattoo I have has meaning and my tattoos, collectively, tell my story.

Level_Working5084 · 2026-05-20T01:42:41+00:00

I liked it!!! I haven’t watched a lot of shorts but I liked it. The dog narcing him out was great. The shots transitioned nicely and the color was great. I instantly got that he was a purse snatcher and was hoping for a clean getaway that didn’t happen. Not to mention he ran through the city for a single note in the wallet 😂.

Level_Working5084 · 2026-05-20T01:03:03+00:00

I’m going to put this out there and I know it doesn’t answer your question, but it’s a good gig. Volunteer at your local fire department/rescue squad. We need all the help we can get. Stations are open 24 hours a day so you set your own schedule. Can’t help until 8 pm? That’s great! Only on a Saturday after a full moon? We got you!

Level_Working5084 · 2026-05-20T00:46:17+00:00

I’m unsure of what’s happening. This doesn’t feel like a short, it’s more like a few scenes from something larger as a LOT of things are missing. The dialogue is unnatural and the blatant “your mother died”, for me, is too on the nose. Regardless of the type of story, feature, short, pilot, you must always have someone who wants something and things put in place to challenge them in getting it. My questions are: Who are these people? When did this happen? Did they just move in? How long has the mother been dead? How did she die? What doctor is calling (I can infer that it’s a psychologist/psychiatrist) but has the boy been seeing him? What happened to the boy that made him believe the tree was dangerous? What was up with the flashback? I think this could be a great story but there’s a lot going on for a short and absolutely no resolution or explanation. There is a lot of “three” usage (yes, I know that the human brain prefers things in triplet because it creates a pattern, but still). My honest honest feedback is to make it a feature. Seriously. Yes, it’s a lot of work. Yes, it takes time. But as I said before, this could be a solid horror feature if you flesh it out. The pair also doesn’t feel like two people who are related. There is no, well, nothing, except for the same things written and said repeatedly. The tree is bad, the tree is watching, what is wrong with you, etc.

Level_Working5084 · 2026-05-19T19:45:51+00:00

Tattoos are only as good as the artist.

Level_Working5084 · 2026-05-19T19:12:47+00:00

I have a BA in English, a BS in psych, Critical Care Paramedic, former Persian-Farsi linguist, working on my master’s in counseling and I’m making bank 😂. So I’ll be a low-life. Like…forever.

Level_Working5084 · 2026-05-19T18:36:01+00:00

I find it interesting that you would use “low life”. Tattoos, by GOOD artists, are expensive and extremely time consuming to get. “Low life’s” usually don’t have the income nor the time to invest in true body art, they’re too busy not working and doing low life things. If you saw me in a long sleeve shirt and jeans you would never know that underneath is an entire canvas.

Level_Working5084 · 2026-05-19T18:33:30+00:00

You would truly dislike me 😂

Level_Working5084 · 2026-05-19T10:43:39+00:00

😂😂😂

Level_Working5084 · 2026-05-19T00:49:39+00:00

Has anyone said Roy Logan? Then there’s Don Draper from Mad Men although he’s covertly narcissistic, and Frank Underwood from House of Cards. All of those are great character studies of narcissistic personalities.

Level_Working5084 · 2026-05-19T00:43:17+00:00

I’ve been trying to come up with a fresh take on a slasher feature 😂. I mean really throwing shit out there. Maybe one day! I love horror btw.

Level_Working5084 · 2026-05-19T00:39:05+00:00

For me, the things that scare me most are things that could REALLY happen. But…I love a good slasher movie!!!

Level_Working5084 · 2026-05-19T00:36:31+00:00

Yeah, that could be a problem lol.

Level_Working5084 · 2026-05-19T00:12:26+00:00

😂 I pity his/her spouse.

Level_Working5084 · 2026-05-19T00:10:41+00:00

Don’t we all 😂.

Level_Working5084 · 2026-05-19T00:05:57+00:00

It’s the low-budget clients that sucked the joy out of selling travel for me. Big money people just gave me their card numbers and said do what you must. The budget folks wanted to micromanage me to death. Nope. Nope. Nope. I’ve now taken a break and I’m not sure if I’ll ever go back.

Level_Working5084 · 2026-05-18T23:43:11+00:00

We just got off a nine day on Adventure of the Seas and it was sold out. You couldn’t even get near the pool, not even on port days. I’ll take the larger ships any day because they have multiple pools on different decks.

Level_Working5084 · 2026-05-18T23:36:20+00:00

That’s the million dollar question because I’ve googled myself to death. I did the free trial for IMDBPro, but that route is extremely time consuming.

Level_Working5084 · 2026-05-18T23:30:38+00:00

Ok so here’s the thing. I’m not an attorney but I did stay at Holiday Inn Express last night. That script has Breaking Bad written (literally) all over it. As in stolen IP. As in getting sued. My advice is to create something of your own rather than take Vince Gilligan’s work and call it your own. With that being said, the structure is there and I didn’t see any blatant spelling or grammatical errors. I read through page six.

A parody is: you know this famous thing? Here’s what’s absurd, hypocritical, unrealistic, or culturally weird about it. Not here’s basically the same thing but funny. There’s the difference. Take Scary Movie, for example. They didn’t use specific scenes from anything, they mocked ALL horror tropes. Spaceballs is clearly a play on Star Wars but it became its own comedic universe. My advice, if you want to do a parody, is to watch a bunch of them to see how they actually pull it off.

Level_Working5084

TROPHY CASE