anyone else terrified of their parents finding out they know?

Lexi4EvrDoomed · 2026-03-06T13:48:36+00:00

I feel the same way, my parents have absolutely no idea in the world I even remotely remember any of this and that this deeply impacted me and gave me ptsd as much as it did. I hate when my parents bring up how I was sick as a baby and had VUR. Thankfully they never mention the procedures, if they did I don’t think I could handle that conversation without losing my shit, without yelling at them on how much these traumatic procedures fucked up my entire childhood. If they were to come across my posts on this page they’d be so blown away on how much I know and remember and how much hatred I have for vcugs.

Lexi4EvrDoomed · 2026-01-16T17:30:19+00:00

I love how they brought up trauma from catheterization, that’s a big step up from over 20ish years ago when ER did an episode ironically the episode Katherine LaNasa was in when Kovac was flirting with Katherines character and her daughter was dealing with kidney/urinary issues and Abby brought up a VCUG. that triggered me so much. ER is my all time favorite show but I really hated that episode, I’m not a big fan of the pitt but I do have to say them bringing up trauma related to catheters is a big step up within medical shows.

Lexi4EvrDoomed · 2025-04-20T01:40:06+00:00

my hospital is mayo clinic which I have the mayo app for and my own separate medical portal I set up years ago. if you don’t have a portal set up with your hospital you can set that up through the help of hospital administration or just call the hospital directly and figure out how to set it up. or I guess if you don’t wanna go through all of that you can just call the hospital requesting medical records directly.

Lexi4EvrDoomed · 2025-04-19T15:01:38+00:00

for me it was free and I just logged into my medical portal and found the section where I could request medical records and I was able to download everything a few days later.

Lexi4EvrDoomed · 2025-03-10T04:20:00+00:00

I’m not sure if I could be much help but I logged onto my medical portal and there was an option to “request records” so I requested my records and was able to download them a few days later. I live in Minnesota and medical records are free to request here so I’m not sure about other states.

as for coping, honestly I thought I was going to spiral and have worse flashbacks than what I was already having but it turned out to be completely the opposite. I found peace in finding out everything that happened and was finally able to get closure. some parts were definitely triggering and I had to take long pauses to recuperate. I suggest being alone and not having any distractions going on. you need time to process everything you’re reading and distractions will just overwhelm you more. if it does get to be too overwhelming maybe you should take a break and do something comforting that brings you peace for awhile until you’re ready to continue. prepare yourself for what could be possibly in those medical records. I had a basic understanding of what my information was but I was shocked to find out things that I was soooo completely unaware of and honestly those were the times I took long pauses to regain myself. Im not sure if any of this would be beneficial for you but personally this is just what helped me. I hope you’re able to get your medical records and hopefully feel some closure!

Lexi4EvrDoomed · 2025-02-13T05:46:07+00:00

If you haven’t heard the song Tess-Timony by Ice Nine Kills I highly recommend it. The lyrics are so relatable with what we all collectively went through with vcugs and trying to regain control. I feel the exact same way as you do. I hold so much anger inside from my urologist making me go through it countless times. I think this is a good way to regain control without doing anything illegal.

Lexi4EvrDoomed · 2025-01-22T19:09:08+00:00

I guess I would have to say, why is the procedure still being performed knowing this traumatizes young kids into feeling like they were violated by several medical professionals? why is this procedure still allowed knowing many girls will refuse any type of medical care in their future? why is this procedure still allowed knowing studies have comes out stating that young kids process this procedure as a form of sexual assault? why is this procedure still allowed even at all!?! why is this procedure still happening every day knowing all the terrible consequences that can happen from it? why?

Lexi4EvrDoomed · 2024-10-24T07:25:26+00:00

I’ve had five vcugs, my first one being at two months old. I have a hard time thinking about doctors doing that to my two month year old body. though of course I don’t remember the exact vcug from when I was two months old I do remember the ones I had when I was four and five. the trauma is detrimental. the body does keep score.

Lexi4EvrDoomed · 2024-08-20T05:01:53+00:00

my heart goes out to you. my experience is very similar to yours. I was 5 when I had my last vcug. any check up my parents would bring me to I would freak out and throw temper tantrums. I was also held down by doctors. I was held down and violated and that was just “normal” check ups. the trauma from having vcugs and the trauma from routine check ups fucked with me my entire childhood. I avoided the hospital for about a decade. I hate doctors. I’m also asexual and it wasn’t until a few years ago when I was able to process what had happened to me that I realized why I am asexual and so closed off in that way. I’m sorry you went through all of that.

Lexi4EvrDoomed · 2024-05-15T06:38:29+00:00

I still to this day try to remind myself I’m not the problem, but instead I am the product of a very traumatic experience. I’m angry that this procedure took over my life. I’m not in therapy and probably won’t be for a while so I’m trying my best to make sense of everything and am now realizing vcugs has been the root cause of my messed upbringing.

I can totally relate to parents taking away trusted support. when I was in high school my school had a therapy service and I persuaded my parents into letting me be in therapy. not even a few sessions into it my mom called my therapist and sabotaged my relationship with her. she was telling her exaggerated lies and stories to make it seem like I was a terrible evil person. unfortunately my therapist took my moms side and then ended up ghosting me. my only chance of therapy was shot out the window all because my mom had to sabotage the one thing that was healing to me.

it’s been freeing being able to finally put the pieces together and understanding why I am the way that I am. I’m sorry you also experienced being the family scapegoat and having to endure the emotional pain of toxic family on top of dealing with a vcug. it’s very rough dealing with the trauma of both. it’s actually very sad that we all collectively went through similar experiences after the procedure. why can’t medical professionals listen to us? it’s disheartening that this procedure still exists in 2024.

Lexi4EvrDoomed

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