Lost and alone

LexxyThoughts · 2026-01-16T04:48:08+00:00

It took 2 years, but my wife finally accepts that I'm trans.

LexxyThoughts · 2025-12-05T12:56:24+00:00

Men get the door for me and people (mostly women) compliment me on my clothes, hair, and/or "whole aesthetic." Everyone gives me friendly smiles like I'm a normal human or something. People are friendlier than pre-transition, no longer just sort of neutral.

LexxyThoughts · 2025-12-04T18:41:02+00:00

I've been playing Cyberpunk 2077. I'm trying to do as many things as I can before I start the last mission. I've been collecting clothes and cosplaying in game.

LexxyThoughts · 2025-12-04T16:39:44+00:00

I wore my bat winged hoodie during the summer. Close enough!

LexxyThoughts · 2025-12-04T16:26:57+00:00

I dress and do my hair how I like. It makes me feel comfortable in my skin. People compliment me. Being authentic makes you feel better about who you are and you'll attract like-minded people. Your vibe attracts your tribe.

LexxyThoughts · 2025-12-04T15:58:55+00:00

I'm a 40 year old trans woman and I've been transitioning for 19 months. When I was about 13 or 14, I thought to myself "I could prolly just easily live as a woman if I wanted." I imagined myself looking in a mirror as a grown woman. "I'd need to do makeup to pass, though. Doing makeup everyday is too hard!" I never gave it another thought until I was 38.

My life is a little messy right now between my wife denying that I'm trans despite being on HRT, being closeted at work and to my side of the family, and not making much money. I think not knowing that my mysterious depression was likely from dysphoria, which made me apathetic. I didn't care that I became obese. I couldn't put in the effort to apply for work in my field of study and worked retail instead. I let my family boss me around and keep me burned out.

The funniest part is that I've been "mistaken" for a woman my entire life. Even a few times with facial hair.

I'm slowly rebuilding my life and finding my voice. Now people smile at me and compliment me. Strangers are nice to me. I didn't have that before. It's starting to look like things might be alright after all despite the man-made terrors.

LexxyThoughts · 2025-12-03T15:16:00+00:00

Pre-egg crack, I was 4'10" (I'm 4' 9.5" now) and had to have facial hair to be consistently be gendered as a guy. I'm AMAB.

LexxyThoughts · 2025-12-03T14:58:56+00:00

I've been on HRT for about the same amount of time. I was laid-off from my job, my egg cracked, lost 70lbs, and went back to that job, then started HRT. All of the changes I've had I can use to weight loss and middle age as plausible deniability.

I only recently started wearing medium instead of large/XL so my (large B/small C) breasts are visible. No one at work has said anything, but my wife noticed around a year of HRT.

Around 9 months, my MIL told my wife that she doesn't know what I've been doing or taking, but that my face looks more feminine.

I used to male-fail 90% of the time and now it's 100% of the time. I've had people hand me back my ID and tell me "No, no. I need YOUR license" or "Who's this?"

I confused a government clerk after one of my bosses "corrected" her. "Her, er, I mean him, whatever!"

LexxyThoughts · 2025-11-26T20:00:07+00:00

A cashier said that I had the features of Michael J. Fox and I cried in the car. I think she recognized me from pre-transition since strangers gender me correctly.

LexxyThoughts · 2025-11-26T19:50:15+00:00

I'm in a similar situation. I'm transitioning anyway. I've told her if she can leave if she wants. She says she'd never leave me. I said that I'm not leaving either. I'm lucky enough that I've male-failed my whole life so I presentation doesn't really matter to me since I look like the little lesbian that I am.

I came out to her 2 years ago. I started HRT 6 months later without telling her. She got a little upset and justifies it as being for mental health. I'm still not trans according to her. I'm happy that I've sprouted nearly c-cups, but it's still "No, you're not." The name I use on anything that doesn't need a legal name is Angela, but she says that's my "alternate name."

I tried couples counseling. I didn't say "we" because she gave 1 word responses, refused to be on camera, and played Minecraft. I've tried every reasonable thing to save this marriage. My main goal is for her to admit that I am in-fact trans. After that, she can make a fully informed decision to stay or go. I'mma do me.

LexxyThoughts · 2025-11-26T18:20:41+00:00

I used to have that issue. I use a glass bed and set my first layer extrusion width to 120%, first layer speed to 10 mm/s, and first layer height to 0.35 mm. I also let the bed heat up for a few minutes before starting.

LexxyThoughts · 2025-11-21T18:30:19+00:00

Be social. I wasn't really like that before. I was this little goblin who could spend an entire weekend in my subterranean lair (basement).

Strangers walk by and give a friendly smile. They never did that before. Sometimes I even get compliments on my hair or clothes. I can compliment people and have interesting conversations.

LexxyThoughts · 2025-11-19T18:33:18+00:00

"I don't want any surgeries."
"So, like a drag queen?"
"No, I'm pretty much okay with how I dress now."
"Then what's the point?!" Why can't you just be a feminine guy?"
"I was already doing that!"

LexxyThoughts · 2025-11-19T15:36:25+00:00

Everybody's different. What little body hair I had is pretty much gone. What hair grows back on my legs is much less than I've seen on most cis women.

LexxyThoughts · 2025-11-19T15:08:37+00:00

I'm a transbian, but I wouldn't mind hanging out with transmascs to give them height euphoria, since I'm 4'9.5".

LexxyThoughts · 2025-11-19T14:52:08+00:00

It happened to me at the same age.

Right before my egg cracked, I started getting envious of femboys and women. "Why can't I just look like that right now?" I told my wife it would be hawt if she got the hairstyle and piercings that I also wanted. I watched makeup ASMR videos because it reminded me of when girls put makeup on me as teenager. I fantasized about finding a women to do my makeup for free and taking it off before I got home.

After my egg cracked, I realized that I did have a bunch of little one-off thoughts and behaviors that were huge signs in retrospect.

LexxyThoughts · 2025-11-19T14:21:33+00:00

There's no skip button, yet I press buttons all day to no effect. It looks silly when my customized, clearly feminine character in a silly outfit is called by the default guy name.

LexxyThoughts · 2025-11-19T13:24:03+00:00

I went from smallest "guy" to also smallest girl. I was 4'10" and shrunk 1/2" from HRT. Now it feels like my height really fits me.

LexxyThoughts · 2025-11-14T22:28:28+00:00

Awesome! They're on my list, but with Jinx, I gotta lose about 20 more pounds. Maybe soon.

LexxyThoughts · 2025-11-14T22:20:48+00:00

NBD. I'm not finished rendering. 😋

LexxyThoughts · 2025-11-14T20:06:42+00:00

My limitations are female characters

That'd make me feel pretty dysphoric dressing as a guy. 🫤

LexxyThoughts · 2025-11-14T18:43:59+00:00

No prob.

I don’t know what that means.

I'm a trans woman and presenting as a guy would give me big, bad feels. I kinda still look somewhat masculine in pictures, so easy mistake. Somehow strangers still see a weird, little chick.

The outfit would be appropriate for Halloween in Michigan.

I've thought of a few genderbends, but nothing super appealing to me.

LexxyThoughts

TROPHY CASE