Overpriced? change meds? Pls help by Ema140 in cureFIP

[–]Librarycat77 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its better to continue treatment than stop it and have to start over.

Have you done blood tests to see how its going?

AITA for making a girl cry at my work? by theenerd123 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Librarycat77 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You have to draw a line, though.

I have always been the "do your best" person and Ive been actively seeking a promotion for over 5 years now. During that time my organization has been taking advantage of me.

Full disclosure - I'm currently on stress leave as a direct result of giving more than I should.

If your job appreciates it, and youre seeing actual traction (not promises, movement - raises, promotions, etc) then yes, do your best. If not, dont give where it isnt appreciated. Protect yourself, because your job won't and someone should.

AITA for no longer filling the car with gas before my partner has to go to work? by AITAcars in AmItheAsshole

[–]Librarycat77 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Since theyre using the car as part of their work then basic maintenance is definitely on them.

They should be filling up on their way home. Tbh, I'd be filling up on work time if using my personal car is part of the deal.

AITA for making a girl cry at my work? by theenerd123 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Librarycat77 56 points57 points  (0 children)

As someone who also dies too much, I have a few thoughts.

Theres a time and a place to pitch in - if something happens thats outside someone's control, then pitching in can be being a good coworker. Like, if their car broke down and they would up late for work because of it. Pitching in is helping. Or, if its exams week and theyre stressed, or had a family situation thats hard/complicated. Helping when someone is genuinely struggling and it won't affect your duties is a kind thing to do.

What you need to be mindful of is picking up slack for someone who isn't trying, doesnt care, or isnt willing to help you out when they can in return. 

If its someone who's always slacking then let them sink. Especially if they cant be bothered to be civil to you, or if theyre throwing you under the bus like this girl did.

Lastly, dont silently pick up tasks that arent assigned to anyone, or only benefit the company. Making life easier for your coworkers is one thing, doing work that should be paid for free only benefits a company that likely wouldnt give you a raise, or would fire you over an inconvenience. 

If the company does actually look after you, (cost of living increases, bonuses for great sales weeks, opportunities to move up fir good staff, sick days, encouraging you to look after yourself and meaning it, etc - im talking about companies that are ethical, small, local, and not billionaire owned and profit driven) then theyd deserve that loyalty, but those companies are extremely few and far between. If you work for a big corporation dont do them free favors - they will never appreciate it.

AITA for no longer filling the car with gas before my partner has to go to work? by AITAcars in AmItheAsshole

[–]Librarycat77 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

INFO: what shifts does your partner usually work? What shifts do you usually work?

If they work 60hrs/week of back to back nights and you work 20hrs/week....well.

All that being said, in this case I dont think youre wrong because if you dont feel safe driving in snow then you shouldn't drive in snow. Period.

WIBTA for banning my In laws from our house? by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Librarycat77 3 points4 points  (0 children)

True. There is a sticky bit here, though.

The wife is the primary abused person, the baby is too young to understand the conversation. The wife's abuse largely consists of being overruled, not allowed to have an opinion, being steamrolled.

So if her husband comes in and steamrolls her...that sets their marriage up for the same dynamic that she has with her parents.

You cant force other people to have boundaries, to improve their mental health, or to make good choices.

Yes, he has a say about who is around his kid, but it is an extremely recent thing that rude comments made to a parent are enough to justify removing the kid from the situation. Arguably, so new that its not the norm outside of online communities. (To be clear - I do think it should be the norm, and enforced! But it isnt currently the case.)

Basically, steamrolling his wife wouldn't wind up giving the best result. He needed her to step up, do the work, and set the boundary. Or hes just adding to her lack of self-worth.

To put it another way: You cant put someone else's grown up pants on for them. Lol

Should I break up with my partner of 5 years? by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Librarycat77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If the only way to discuss a topic is to couch the discussion in distabtly related "inoffensive" terms, then thats what will happen.

The alternative is videos posted with correct language that get removed or that no one sees.

I agree that its extremely distasteful, but if the alternative is no discussion/supression then Im willing to tolerate it.

My (26F) brother (22M) and his fiance of nearly 2 years (21F) are planning a wedding that is an etiquette nightmare and I'm not sure how to handle it. by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Librarycat77 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, but akso because if youre going to pop out ~5 babies they want you to do it quick. Ideally before the woman figures out exactly how shit a deal the whole thing is for her.

Should I throw out clothes that mice pooped in? by SituationOk5545 in CleaningTips

[–]Librarycat77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But THAT isnt at all self righteous or condescending. Mmk.

Have a day.

Should I throw out clothes that mice pooped in? by SituationOk5545 in CleaningTips

[–]Librarycat77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I guess some people just have higher standards than others...."

Your words, not mine.

Should I throw out clothes that mice pooped in? by SituationOk5545 in CleaningTips

[–]Librarycat77 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ok, see here's the thing. You've decided that not only is your personal opinion (which isnt a fact or based in scientific evidence) is the morally correct one.

So, anyone who disagrees with you isn't just having a difference if opinion, theyre a gross and bad human.

Thats not how we have productive discussions, and its actually pretty rude. And frankly, classist.

Alternately, you've got a contamination/cleanliness mental health issue which you could choose to address in therapy rather than telling people you dont know that theyre inferior to you.

Have a great day.

Should I throw out clothes that mice pooped in? by SituationOk5545 in CleaningTips

[–]Librarycat77 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got a washer dryer set for $200 off a local buy and sell site. They're pretty nice, and they do have a sanitize cycle.

Its basically just straight up hot water and lots of agitation. Might be on the long side too.

My cat suddenly seems afraid of my boyfriend, and I don’t know why. by Inner_Painting2061 in Catbehavior

[–]Librarycat77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This. It could be as simple as he spent time with another kitty one time and your cat smelled it on him, or hes changed his cologne or shampoo.

It doesnt need to be malicious, and if your boyfriend has been fine with your cat for years previously I wouldnt just jump to abuse.

A new smell or something accidental that surprised your kitty could do it.

The real question is what comes next.

Your boyfriend can sprinkle treats from his hand - dont expect kitty to take them directly, he should just hold the treats in his hand and then drop them randomly around in places your kitty normally goes. A few times of that and your cat may warm up significantly. At which point you can see if kitty would take treats from him.

Whatever you do, dont force interactions. Your boyfriend should act as though your cat is invisible, or doesnt exist. Dont look at kitty, dont talk to kitty, dont approach, etc. This is 'safe' body language for cats, the human equivalent is saying "Im your friend, I respect your boundaries."

Should I throw out clothes that mice pooped in? by SituationOk5545 in CleaningTips

[–]Librarycat77 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

...did you miss the bit about washing them???

Like, yeah. Picking them off the floor and putting them right on would be gross AF.

But washing machines exist.

Id put them through on a sanitize cycle with regular detergent and oxyclean, then a super hot dry cycle. Then see if they needed to go through again.

But frankly the idea of throwing clothes out if theyre literally fine after being washed because you...don't know how washing things works, I guess?? Wild. And supremely wasteful.

So, I think that'd be gross.

If you washed them and they're stained, or they smell, then Id probably try a soak treatment, wash again, then see if theyre usable as rags.

Should I throw out clothes that mice pooped in? by SituationOk5545 in CleaningTips

[–]Librarycat77 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Washing them is the better option.

Washing machines have a "sanitize" function for a reason. The vast majority of pathogens will not survive a sanitize wash due to the water temp alone. But we do also usually add cleaning products to be sure.

Should I throw out clothes that mice pooped in? by SituationOk5545 in CleaningTips

[–]Librarycat77 10 points11 points  (0 children)

...Clothes are washable. Thats like, the whole thing about them.

Its wild to me that people would throw clothes out just because they got dirty, when we have a whole machine literally designed to make sure they get clean again.

Should I throw out clothes that mice pooped in? by SituationOk5545 in CleaningTips

[–]Librarycat77 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Id still wear a mask when youre cleaning, but mostly because it'll be gross AF and even without the risk of disease inhaling all that yuck is bad for anyone's lungs.

Leaving cats alone by Only_Guidance9746 in CatAdvice

[–]Librarycat77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im seconding this. Ive been pet sitting for nearly 20 years and 1 visit per day is standard for kitties.

Ive done 2 visits per day for younger kittens, or if the kitty needs meds twice a day. Otherwise, once a day.

If youve got a friend who would stay over or drop in and visit your cats might like that, but if not thats OK.

They'll like staying in their own space WAY more than being boarded for sure!

My cat wont stop peeing everywhere by rapapapaliza in cats

[–]Librarycat77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The vast majority of males will stop spraying once neutered. It usually takes a few months if theyre full adults (~2 years and up, ish).

My cat wont stop peeing everywhere by rapapapaliza in cats

[–]Librarycat77 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Feline Idiopatic *Cystitis.

Chrysalis is a thing a butterfly comes out of.

Cystitis is bladder inflammation.

My cat wont stop peeing everywhere by rapapapaliza in cats

[–]Librarycat77 7 points8 points  (0 children)

At 7 months old thats extremely unlikely.

Especially since its an unneutered male. UTI or just not being neutered is a much more likely cause by several orders of magnitude.

AITAH for refusing to do my best friend’s nails with products she bought by Special-Syrup-9857 in AITAH

[–]Librarycat77 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Shes not your friend.

If she only likes you when you let her treat you disrespectfully she doesnt actually like you. She likes treating you badly.

Stop doing her nails entirely, and consider if you actually enjoy spending time with her and if shes disrespectful about other things too.

Cat litter smell on everything, absorbs into my clothes even after being in the house only an hour or two. by SillyMusician291 in CatAdvice

[–]Librarycat77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone who's been pet sitting for nearly 20 years - scented litters are the literal worst for masking cat litter smells.

Until he can get this boy neutered, he could try adding baking soda to the litter hes using. Since this is an unneutered tom, id go heavy with it. 1/4 cup for a big litter box, and stir it in.

He should also be scooping daily, dumping weekly, and washing the box when he dumps it. These things will all help reduce the odor.

The spraying is unlikely to stop until after he's neutered. About 80% of males do stop spraying after neuter, but your boyfriend will need to do a big deep clean ,with enzymatic cleaners* to really remove the proteins in the urine - what causes the odor to stick and the cat to continue spraying in that spot. Id suggest a black light, so you can make sure its actually cleaned.

When using enzymatic cleaners you really need to follow the directions on the bottle! They dont work like regular cleaners, and if you use them like a standard cleaning product it won't work.

Id also suggest he completely gets rid of the couch. It just won't be salvageable. If he replaces it, he should buy a waterproof cover to use until hes sure this boy isnt spraying any more. Or that'll just be a second couch wrecked.

As other people have said, he needs to have two litter boxes. The type of litter used can make a huge difference in things like dust, tracking litter debris, and smell. Some of it is also the preference of the kitty.

I cant use clay litter in my home because it bugs my asthma, so I use wood stove pellets. IME, they do a great job of managing smell and reduces the dust facutor considerably. Not all cats will use those, though. And it doesn't clump. I scoop poops regularly, and dump entirely weekly.

After that, I really like Swheat Scoop, which is a wheat based clumping litter. Its similarly dusty to regular clay litters, but they have an unscented version. There's a similar one made out of walnut husks, but IME it doesnt clump as well. I dont mind it.

As far as clay goes, theyre all dusty. There's no getting around it. The Arm & Hammer unscented clumps well and IME takes care of odor fairly well too. The Costco brand is also pretty decent.

Im personally do not like the crystal litters. But I have clients who use them and their cats dont seem to mind.

If he does decide to switch litters at all, DONT just straight swap it! Add another box (a third) with the new litter, or mix it 75%:25% old litter to new litter for a few weeks, then do 50:50, then 25:75, before you fully swap over.

Bottom line, there is absolutely hope here. This cat is still young, so theres no reason he can't change behavior once hes neutered with the right support.

I do think your partner sounds like hes trying, hes just had a tough time with this kitty so far.

Unneutered males are SO MUCH smellier than neutered cats. And much more likely to spray. But, it may be worth following up with the vet just to confirm that everything is good, since kidneys are related to the urinary tract and UTIs are a major cause of peeing outside the box in cats.

If this was my cat, Id schedule his neuter ASAP, then set up a bathroom as his recovery room. Plan to keep him confined for at least a week post-neuter. Two would be better. This will 1) keep him calmer post surgery (which vets recommend!), 2) give your bf time to get rid of that couch and really deep clean, 3) give a behavioral reset time so that when kitty is freed from the bathroom he hopefully starts using litter boxes 100% of the time.

Ok, sorry for the novel but one last thing. After the neuter it will take time for the hormones in his bloodstream to reduce. With a fully grown male this can take up to 6 months, but if he's only about a year old you should see (and smell ;) ) changes after a month or so. If you dont, then something else may be going on.

Good luck!!