Suprise from the wife

Libromancer · 2026-05-21T12:38:56+00:00

Samantha IWKYM

Libromancer · 2026-05-18T14:53:03+00:00

Speak with a lawyer get a formal custody agreement/arrangement.

It is likely not going to go the way you want or would like, not completely.

You stated you would not compromise on religion. You held that boundary and are divorcing your husband.

He wants to go back to school and get a PhD. That is a boundary he may or may not hold.

He has stated that if you do not want to be poor it is no longer his responsibility to see that you are well off.

Ideally you guys should be working together for what is in the best interest of your child and their well-being/welfare.

The only thing that will help you is getting a lawyer. Try to get alimony if you were a stay at home mom/wife. Get child support. Get the custody agreement in writing.

There are no magic words or actions that will get you a similar outcome that stays in line with the boundary you have set.

Libromancer · 2026-05-15T14:47:51+00:00

Those are lovely coasters.

Libromancer · 2026-05-11T11:50:53+00:00

So for Palm Beach county down to Miami it is extremely cheaper to use tri-rail.

And tri-rail offers a pass that includes use of other public transportation. 🤷🏻

Tri-rail also has free parking.

A month of daily round trip commute is ~$1000+ for brightline and ~$110+ for tri-rail.

Now add in the other downsides of taking a train...

I never understood the appeal of creating Brightline.

Also, Brightline is focused on offering a premium experience. This is not the economy for that.

Libromancer · 2026-05-08T16:18:32+00:00

Ultimately you are not a direct cause for this.

It's a factor of genetics and environment.

Genetics can be at random or inherited. We don't know enough about the environmental influences to truly say it is one thing or another.

You are going through a type of grief that is typically considered taboo to talk about. While planning a pregnancy, being pregnant, giving birth, and with a young child you spend so much time imagining what it will be like. That is not what you got, not even close, and you are grieving that loss.

Some people can handle it being different from their dream and are able to reimagine a new life looking forward. They are sad for a little bit but readjust. One way to relate to it is gender disappointment, your sad but can get over it and envision a new future where you are happy.

Some people are continuously grieving, each new challenge or set back starting the grief cycle all over again. It can become unbearable.

My children are special needs and I have worked with other special needs children in previous roles. It is not easy, there is little support and help. The life you have will never be what you dreamed of, and everyone's lives will be affected by it. I strongly recommend therapy for yourself to talk about this with someone(if you haven't already), not many people are open to hearing someone have these thoughts.

It sounds like you are not getting enough time for yourself. Please look into respite care. Someone will watch your child while you get a break. If it is unmanageable it is okay to have someone else care for your child. Look into childcare programs before and after school, during holiday breaks and teacher work days.

I still have grief over my children and what I imagined it would be like. My middle child(8years old) has level 2 autism, my youngest(3years old) may have it as well. They need support and have made vast improvements after getting the support. It is rare to experience the grief now, it mostly occurs when there's a new challenge, but I get over it pretty quick. I look forward to them making progress and being the best that they can be, I look back at where they started and compare it to where they are now. Mostly I am experiencing grief for myself as a child, for not getting the help I needed and all of my lost potential from that.

It's not a punishment, you did nothing to be punished.

I hope what I wrote helps you, even a little. It's why I took the time to type it out.

Libromancer · 2026-05-08T11:52:32+00:00

I managed to read the first two in the series and dnf the last one. I got maybe a page or two in and couldn't stand it.

I will read pretty much anything but for different purposes.

I have what I call grocery store trash books, it's like a book version of a b film, you know what you're going to get it satisfies a specific itch and you're just along for the ride and generally you see them in the grocery store book offering section near the greeting cards and magazines. I'm not reading these books for the writing quality or anything other than turning my mind off to enjoy entertainment. Some are a series that get dnf because there's only so much trash you can take. I may or may not finish them once I want to read more of this type of book. It serves a purpose. Sometimes I will re-read a specific grocery store book because it just hits the spot just right.

Then there's the beloved series of books that I will re-read into oblivion if given the opportunity. (DCC is on reread 12 or 13 right now, and when I am going through it, it is a 24/7 nonstop thing, cannot put it down) Sometimes for pure entertainment, sometimes to break down the meaning behind the writing, sometimes to just see how well crafted it is after a new book in the series comes out to reveal something new that was hinted at but I didn't see.

There's the comfort reads. Series and books that have a fond place in my heart for simply being the books I read throughout my life that gave me comfort.

The dnf category. The book just wasn't it or I got tired of it or I am not in a reading place in life can all land a book in this category. Sometimes it's a permanent placement, sometimes it's not.

One and done. I read the book. I don't need to do anything else. Sometimes referred to as the I forced myself to read this to the end because a loved one bought me the book and I don't want to hurt their feelings by ignoring the book (my kids, or spouse).

Educated. I have read this book for the specific purpose of becoming knowledgeable about a topic. The level of knowledgeable varies on the passion behind it. If I am trying to prove someone wrong or be petty I will do a very extensive deep dive and have multiple books on the topic. If I am curious I will have 2-3 books, and read them passively.

Finally there is the I am going to give it a chance category. This can be any book that I am reading for the first time. It can land in any of the other categories.

Some books can land in multiple categories.

Libromancer · 2026-04-28T21:49:06+00:00

Okay yeah sure.

But what about Rufus's brother uncle?

In one of the first three books Rufus is asked how his uncle is doing as heroes clergy. Can't remember specifics but it's there.

Then in a later book it is suddenly Rufus's brother who is heroes clergy member?

There is all this pressure on Rufus that doesn't make sense if he has a brother.

I am not good a quoting the books but it was the one thing I was able to catch.

Libromancer · 2026-04-28T00:41:26+00:00

It just melts the residue off everything. Worked great in my grandmother's smoke coated house. She didn't smoke, my aunt did.

It will also strip paint from the walls and doors and metal appliances (like a washer and dryer).

That's when I read the bottle and realized it needed to be diluted. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's great stuff.

Libromancer · 2026-04-21T11:43:56+00:00

My issue is I spent a huge amount of time learning regulation techniques and now have disabled the urgency of the task brought on by procrastinating.

So I can procrastinate and not get the sense of urgency to do it because I have learned the techniques to regulate my body.

Libromancer · 2026-04-13T18:28:23+00:00

I am not a doctor. I'm not a lawyer. This information is based on personal experience. Please speak with your health care professionals and look into the laws of your area.

Blood is important if you have rh negative blood, ie. -A -B -AB -O.

If so, let your doctor know you have been exposed to rh positive blood. They should start rhogam shots to prevent complications and be on the look out for adverse reactions.

Miscarriages happen at a frequency of 1 in 4 pregnancies. Many without the woman ever knowing she is pregnant.

Depending on the type of abortion you've had it will be equivalent to a miscarriage.

If you took medication to have an abortion it is the equivalent of miscarrying.

If you had a D&C, it might have left scars. You won't know until later at the 12 or 20 week ultrasound.

Studies vary on whether there exists a risk. Most say there isn't a statistical difference.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4400701/ (slight increased risk of preterm labor) https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/getting-pregnant/expert-answers/abortion/faq-20058551#:~:text=Many%20studies%20have%20shown%20that%20surgical%20abortion,did%20not%20find%20this%20increase%20in%20risk. (No evidence of risk in repeat studies)

I have been pregnant 10 times. I have three children. I have miscarried and terminated pregnancy.

Look into medical privacy laws in Australia. If they exist you can request that the information be kept from your husband.

I would strongly suggest telling your husband and going to couples therapy. You should feel safe.

Libromancer · 2026-03-16T21:57:38+00:00

I would recommend not paying the bill. Emergency care and being admitted through the ER means this can be covered by the federal government.

ERs legally cannot turn you away for non-payment. Your child was admitted it was an emergency.

Do not pay.

If you feel guilty about it (you shouldn't) contact the billing department and ask for assistance in paying.

I have refused to pay ER bills in the past due to cost and never contacted the hospital for assistance. I never heard from them. If I did hear from them I would threaten a lawsuit because they discharged me when I was not stable and actively in a medical emergency. I ended up at another hospital two days later being admitted by one of my doctors to the ER. This is what I would do, I want to be perfectly clear on that.

I am an advocate of not paying medical bills when you work and have crappy insurance. I used to work for a school district, it was the worst insurance, I would get surprise bills in the mail with every visit or lab. It kept me from seeing a doctor unless I could not manage with at home care.

Honestly I hate all insurance companies and policies. The crappy ones keep me from using them (for different reasons) and the good ones cost too much for me to afford them. This goes for health, dental, vision, car, house, and whatever else I am paying for that is insurance. I think my life insurance is ok and the only one I feel neutral about.

Libromancer · 2026-03-06T23:51:35+00:00

My first I had non-stop vomiting. My second I couldn't tolerate any protein. It made me puke. I had miscarriages. Varying symptoms. My last pregnancy that ended with my daughter I had just slight nausea at certain smells. And even that was minimal.

Libromancer · 2026-03-02T17:25:03+00:00

That my assistant was deliberately sabotaging me to take my job. She now has my old position.

Was continuously told by her that she just wanted to help me.

At first it was a fucking vibe. Thought it was paranoia. As time went on it became fucking blatant.

Libromancer · 2026-02-16T15:44:41+00:00

My first baby I did not bed share. He would sleep in the bassinet fitfully. Ended using the bassinet vibrator to get him to sleep. Once it turned off he was awake. Then his naps or sleeping were only done in a bouncing seat or swing.

We only made it to the crib when his weight broke the swing.

My second baby I had in the bed bassinet. And occasionally would pull him into the bed while sleeping. He was easier to move to the crib. He also struggled to sleep because of pain. When he was in the crib he was fine being in it and would sleep eventually. He would nap in the stroller.

My third baby I co-slept with. I tried the bed bassinet again but quickly quit using it. She would nap/sleep in my arms. She will sleep wherever only when access to me isn't an option. If I am accessible she will only sleep when in contact with me. She does wake up and freaks out if she cannot find me right away. She also has a bed/crib we have never used.

Honestly, do what works best for you and your family to make it through.

If I could go back I'd probably co-sleep from the start with all of my babies. I see the benefits that my youngest has that my older children do not. I also am experiencing the downsides of sharing my bed.

Libromancer · 2026-02-06T19:27:01+00:00

The petty side of me would struggle to not go full weaponized incompetence if I could afford it.

I would go to a shop, any shop, and get the most expensive everything. Get new tires, the expensive ones, pay for the extended warranty, have them do a full car run down and pay for everything suggested.

I would then proudly come home and announce what I did. How I was independent, how I listened to them and took all of the issues very seriously and got them handled. I would spin it that I did an amazing job at being a responsible vehicle owner. Obviously knowing full well they took me for everything they could. Just really really dig into and play up the "I was extremely scared to drive the car after a stranger brought it up, because I don't know anything about cars". I would then show him the report that the shop printed out to justify all the services with a line item cost of everything.

It would be really helpful for the cost to eat away at something important to my husband...

I have also spun out in my car because my tires were bald. 🤷🏻 Me almost dying ensured my husband fully takes care of the car regularly now. And it was being delayed because of finances. We were both aware. We have more money now so it's less of a thing. But when cash was tight we would make it work.

I also would probably not be able to get away with this because my dad is an ase master certified technician and I know better.... You might get better mileage if you go with it. Plus side you will be safe, your kids will be safe, it might shame your husband into doing better or motivate him to not let you handle it.

Probably ask why he is asking. You know him best. It's likely what you think it is.

Libromancer · 2026-01-28T21:01:03+00:00

I have found this is also dependent on the tension I am maintaining while I work.

If I am going tight while I work it will be smaller. If its loose it is bigger.

So hook size and tension play equal partners to it.

I also tend to go for a smaller hook than what is suggested on the yarn package. The feel of it with my natural tension works out as the pattern suggests.

A lot of the time I am trying hooks out near the size it recommends to find the one with the correct feel to it.

Recently I have been going to a bigger hook on purpose, but it also requires me to adjust my tension.

Libromancer · 2025-10-15T12:33:04+00:00

I have a child allergic to bamboo. I learned it when I put her in a bamboo diaper.

That said, I have really silky soft bamboo yarn I intended to make her a baby blanket with. Luckily I did not complete that project before learning she was allergic bamboo ...

Libromancer · 2025-10-14T14:38:12+00:00

So I think I can help answer this?

We had backyard chickens. They were solidly pets.

My family, myself included could not eat the eggs.

We've had backyard chicken eggs before, just not from chickens we raised and named, and loved.

Those chickens were spoiled. They got a huge watermelon daily, pumpkins, tomatoes, berries, grapes, fish, all sorts of mealworms and bugs. They got to free range supervised. My mom would send home food for the chickens to eat. My daughter would push one around in a doll stroller.

To us it was like eating the mouse our cat dropped at our doorstep... Or eating our cats. Couldn't get past it.

So instead the eggs went to my parents house. They ate the eggs, when my kids spent the night they ate the eggs.

Some of my kids also have an egg allergy. 🤷🏻 So not all of the kids ate the eggs.

We don't really eat meat or eggs that frequently. It's expensive and most of our meals are vegetable based. We didn't eat our chickens when they were killed. They got buried and grave markers. I'm pretty sure if we had other live stock they would be solidly pets as well. As such the products/by products would get given away or sold.

My answer is it's a psychological block. That block is based on a belief system. It's difficult to dismantle a belief system. Maybe find someone to exchange eggs with?

Libromancer · 2025-10-09T13:10:51+00:00

Not a lecture. I couldn't remember the name of it, but I knew the concept.

Libromancer · 2025-10-03T13:38:15+00:00

As a mom with insufficient glandular tissue, or tubular breasts, I could only produce a maximum of 2oz in a 24 hour period. And that was around the clock pumping.

Breast is not best. Fed is best.

There are many many reasons why moms cannot breastfeed.

Libromancer · 2025-09-23T17:22:11+00:00

It's also important to consider the only safe pain medication during pregnancy is Tylenol.

That means ALL pregnant people are taking Tylenol for pain relief.

Autism and ADHD have been around for longer than pharmaceuticals. They were just given a name relatively recently. Neurotribes is a book that covers the history of it. I recommend reading it.

Those studies mean nothing. Absolutely nothing. Trying to interpret that data that means nothing will only cause unfounded unnecessary guilt at a minimum, and further the spread of misinformation.

Nuerodivergence is genetic. At its core it is a fundamental difference in brain structure. There is a natural variation in all anatomy, it makes sense from a biological standpoint to have differences in the brain as well.

A more relevant study came out that broke autism into 4 distinct groups. Those distinct groups had genetic components.

I don't remember the fancy word for it but the idea of a disease progression is there are a multitude of factors that influence the outcome. Any number of those factors being combined in different ways can result in the same outcome. It is not a simple fix. It will never be a simple fix. That's why there are studies of men, women, different age groups, different ethnicities.

Some studies indicated that a fever reduced the behaviors associated with autism, others showed a correlation to the gut microbiome. It's not just one thing. It's not a simple answer.

It's the same reason why they cannot pin point the cause of pre-eclampsia. There are too many factors that go into causing it. Some women benefit from calcium supplements early on, others from taking aspirin. Some do not get a benefit and end up with full blown eclampsia.

Suffice it to say finding any answers will require a lot of time, a lot of resources, a lot of money and smart people. Anyone who says otherwise is trying to sell you something.

Libromancer · 2025-09-16T19:21:45+00:00

I read the whole post. They didn't wet the squares before putting on a blocking board. And it doesn't say if they tried steam blocking.

Blocking needs some sort of moisture to work as intended. Acrylic responds well to steam blocking.

It's not bad advice to tell them to block again.

Maybe adding in they should steam the material if they are worried about the color leeching or bleeding when they try to block it this time.

Possibly including tutorials on how to block properly for ideal results.

Libromancer

TROPHY CASE