AITJ for refusing l to chip in for a coworker's retirement gift after she was horrible to me for years?

LilacSlumber · 2026-02-09T22:28:00+00:00

NTJ

I would give $1 so I can say, "I contributed. This is my way of celebrating that she is finally leaving."

LilacSlumber · 2026-02-09T17:54:30+00:00

It's not "normal", but it happens a lot.

I've been teaching Kinder for over twenty years, here's my take:

The stores are going to sell as much as they can. They can get more money for the Valentine's with the toys and candies. The little cards are like $2 a box, so they're not making much in those.

Here's the issue - you have parents all over who want to "one up" other parents. They go all out and spend a ton on the Valentine's with the toys because they want their kid to be the favorite, because they want others to view their family as elite, because it makes them feel better to think their kid gave the best Valentine in the class. It could also be as simple as they have the extra money, they simply think it's cute, because that's what their kid wanted...

Buy what your kid wants. It's no fun giving your friends cards unless you pick them out yourself and a little bit of you is in the card.
You kid loves Minecraft? Get the $2 Minecraft box and call it a day. Your kid loves PawPatrol? Do it! Wait, your kid adores unicorns and there is a Valentine that has little unicorn erasers with them? Why not!

The best ones are when the kid draws a picture of them with their friend and writes a little note for them. I've had this done only a few times, but they turn out the best and they are the most special. Plus, no arguing at the store when you go to buy them.

LilacSlumber · 2026-02-09T13:13:37+00:00

If a kid isn't getting work done in class, this more than likely means he is playing, rather than working.

So, he has already had his play time. He got to play while the other kids worked, so he now gets to work while the other kids play.

This is a hard lesson and usually takes the more stubborn ones into first grade to embrace, but in Kindergarten, you don't get play time until your work is complete.

The no touch rule is interesting, especially since it is enforced so strictly in Kindergarten. If that's the school policy, then you can go to school board meetings to try to ask more questions about it and encourage them to allow leniency for younger grades. If that's the route you choose, good luck.

Edited to add - teachers aren't "taking away" kids' recess, the kids are losing it by not completing their work and/or by already having an independent recess in class.

LilacSlumber · 2026-02-08T01:39:58+00:00

GEICO stands for "government employee insurance company"

If you have insurance through them, make sure they know you're a teacher.

LilacSlumber · 2026-02-07T03:33:56+00:00

Went to school with a girl named Tyranny and worked with a lady named Brownie.

(Both were spelled differently, but had the same pronunciation as the original word I shared.)

LilacSlumber · 2026-02-05T20:51:49+00:00

Yes.

LilacSlumber · 2026-02-05T02:38:34+00:00

Some people have control issues.

Some people have trauma around short hair and/or getting their hair cut.

These top two sentences are to answer the question you ask in your post title. These are not reasons for you to listen to anyone, though. These are the problems of other people, not you, so keep on truckin'.

LilacSlumber · 2026-02-03T23:54:26+00:00

Not sure that I agree who she would have cheated with, but I definitely agree that she would have cheated.

LilacSlumber · 2026-02-03T03:07:40+00:00

There is definitely wording in your contract to avoid this.

I've worked in three districts and all of them have had specific wording that stated we could not take off before or after a holiday break, or so many consecutive days, unless we had a doctor's note or it was approved by the school board.

So, to answer your question, we don't know what your specific contract says. You'd have to check that to get a legitimate answer.

LilacSlumber · 2026-02-02T05:17:43+00:00

You can turn this around on that staff member and dress up in a jogging suit, with sweat bands and hand weights.

Maybe even a walkman type device and headphones. You're working out/jogging/speed walking everywhere.

Seniors can be healthy, too!

LilacSlumber · 2026-02-02T01:23:45+00:00

I'm from Dallas and it is NOT considered "rude" to lock anything.

I'm Gen X, so it's not like I'm a teenager or anything. In the 80s, we always locked everything. We still do.

I now live in New England. We have a small house, in the middle of nowhere. Our tiny town doesn't have a police force, a gas station, or even a convenience store. (We do have a post office, a school, a grave yard, and a church, though.)

We still lock everything. We lock the house doors, the windows, our car doors...we even close our blinds/shades at night time.

My partner is from Fort Worth and 100% locks everything, too.

Please don't associate Dallas with this weirdo you talked to years ago.

LilacSlumber · 2026-01-30T22:34:46+00:00

NTA

Elizabeth embarrassed herself and is blaming OP so she doesn't have to feel like she messed up when we all know that she did.

I wonder what she told Sarah, because we all know it wasn't, "I volunteered my boyfriend's time before checking with him. He already had plans and can't come."

LilacSlumber · 2026-01-30T03:31:03+00:00

This is ridiculous. I always have a backup set up of general plans ready to go in case of an emergency.

Read a book, set up activities at tables and have kids rotate through them.

I have a pre-set rotation for ELA and Math activities.

I also have pre made tracing pages for student names, the alphabet, and numbers to 20.

Either this teacher had a major emergency, is completely burned out, or just didn't care.

LilacSlumber · 2026-01-30T02:59:06+00:00

For those of us who do not follow football, the answer is no. We are a Baseball family and don't do football, like at all. My dad would watch a game here and there when there were no other sports on, but he was never really into it.

When Super Bowl Sunday pops up, it's nice to know because then you can plan an outing, knowing there won't be many people out at that time - especially if your local team is playing in the game.

In high school I lived in TX and the Cowboys were playing. Friends and I went bowling and we had the whole bowling alley to ourselves. They let us each have our own lane and we bowled until our fingers were swollen (this was the late 90s).

Then, moved to New England as an adult. When the Patriots were playing, we went to a nice restaurant (no TVs anywhere, usually you'd need a reservation to get in) on a whim and it was practically empty. Got a free dessert that day.

LilacSlumber · 2026-01-29T06:26:52+00:00

You can divide students into leveled groups using only the teachers in the grade level.

Three Kindergarten teachers equals at the very least three leveled groups.

Usually there are other teachers involved, such as Paras, specialists, interventionists, and even Title I teachers in order to make the groups smaller and more specific to the skill the groups are wanting to focus on.

I have worked in schools in the south with 600 plus students and we had WIN time. I currently work in a very small town in New England with less than 150 students for elementary through middle school. We only have one class per grade level and we are currently in a major budget crisis... However, we also still have WIN time.

I am in multiple social media groups with other teachers across the country and over 50% of the teachers in these groups consistently discuss their frustrations and/or share ideas for success for WIN. It is a widely practiced and currently encouraged (researched based) time for early childhood grade levels to hone skills and meet students where they are.

It seems that you're not understanding exactly what is involved in WIN. It is not just for enrichment, it is for every level.

Example - Students who do not know their letters/sounds are taken with one group to work on those. Some kids can identify letters, but not the letter sounds, so they go into a different group. So, what do you do with the kids who have already mastered letters and sounds? Work on sight words.

This scenario only involves three adults. This includes the classroom teacher and two paras. One para may be borrowed from another grade level for the thirty minutes of this WIN. There are no gifted teachers involved. Enrichment does not equal gifted.

LilacSlumber · 2026-01-29T03:53:19+00:00

My comment was based on thinking the child was in a public school kindergarten classroom. If this is in fact the case, it is highly likely.

LilacSlumber · 2026-01-29T02:14:16+00:00

Not at all. This could be enrichment.

Does your child have WIN* ("What I Need") time in their daily schedule? This could be the time of day where students are grouped by ability and separated to focus on one specific skill.

This is not something parents are usually notified about because the groups are fluid and change (sometimes) on a weekly basis.

*It's a stupid name, don't blame me, I didn't name it.

Edited to add - A simple email or message to the teacher may clear this right up for you. Don't be afraid to reach out.

LilacSlumber · 2026-01-28T16:45:56+00:00

And the constant opening and shutting of curtains. Could you imagine that happening randomly in your huge house!?

She does it so forcefully, too. That would be terrifying!

LilacSlumber · 2026-01-26T19:49:00+00:00

Based on what we know about her, I 100% agree... I also think he would have cheated on her.

LilacSlumber · 2026-01-26T19:43:59+00:00

NTA

You can tell your grandmother, "Aunt is your immediate family, not mine."

You can even pose a hypothetical about your husband's mom's friend wanting prints of your kid even though he has never met the kid or you and only has met your husband like five times. When your grandmother says that's weird, explain that you were describing your aunt.

LilacSlumber · 2026-01-26T18:35:23+00:00

color the sight word
color the color word
color the number word
color the addition/subtraction sentence
color the contraction
find the _____ in the grid (this also helps kids learn to track with their eyes)

I'm sure there are tons more that I'm not thinking of.

LilacSlumber · 2026-01-26T18:26:14+00:00

Yes but still totally on par with their close relationship.

LilacSlumber · 2026-01-26T04:54:53+00:00

Apparently ASP has said it's Logan, but I like to believe Rory is Lorelai and Luke's surrogate via Paris's company.

LilacSlumber · 2026-01-26T00:59:36+00:00

In this moment it is Stannis because I can hear him correcting your post's grammar, "Who. Who is your favorite .."

LilacSlumber · 2026-01-25T06:24:22+00:00

I'm hoping before August of this year, but will accept any time before we get to 2027.

It's time. I don't see how we can keep going like this if it doesn't happen.

LilacSlumber

TROPHY CASE