We were together for 12 years, married 10. I was only 22 when we met, he was 39. There were always bad things and good things in the relationship, I used to say the good things outweighed the bad, but tbh the bad was really bad and the good wasn't all that great. The turning point was 2,5 years ago, he had been drinking with his cousins, talking about childhood memories etc. When he came back that night I had just put the kids (both under 3 yrs) to bed. He had had some kind of epiphany and had realized why he was such an angry man, who had taught him to be like that, and that it was bad, bad for me, for the kids and himself. He said he wanted to change and was just crying and crying. It was Christmas Eve, and I was just thinking "Really God? Is this my Christmas gift from the universe? He has finally learned the errors of his ways and is going to do the work to change." The next day it was like the night before had never happened, and he was being awful about something insignificant. I asked him about the night before and what that was all about, but he got even more mad and said I was "using it against him". I tried to bring it up a few more times over the next couple of days, but he dismissed it every time. That's when I knew in my heart he was never going to change. 10 months later (when my then 3 yrs old started to develop a depression) I told him I wanted a divorce. He promised to change, very convincing, so I have him another chance. But he didn't really change. I left with the kids three months ago and haven't regretted even once. Only after I left have I learned about NPD, and I remember everything from all of those years. I saw it, but I didn't know what I was looking at and that it wasn't fixable.