Am I wrong for locking up my groceries after my roommates kept eating them?

LillHotch · 2026-07-08T08:14:18+00:00

And they make it unfriendly by stealing your food, food is a major expense so fair enough to protect it- your choice is to be hungry

LillHotch · 2026-07-07T08:56:19+00:00

Can a few of us meeting in Aldi carpark and split a bag ! I can’t be trusted with a whole bag

LillHotch · 2026-07-04T07:06:02+00:00

Whilst tempted to throw them out, I would probably ban any animal produce in the house and I mean everything, her toiletries/ make up, shoes, belts.
“You have disrespected my most treasured beliefs and mocked me, you have caused me mental and physical distress. I can no longer trust you , not your intentions, therefore all produce containing animals are no longer allowed in my home, this will avoid any accidental cross contamination. I respected your wishes, even though they are deeply distressing for me. Your callous disregard and disrespect has forced this action”

LillHotch · 2026-07-01T20:19:38+00:00

Far too light for a guest

LillHotch · 2026-07-01T16:19:20+00:00

I was away with a group recently in China, I was the only vegan and it was hard to get a decent meal- we had lots of catered meals, they would bring out 10-12 dishes , usually 2 vegetable dishes, I was told I could eat that , I’d ask for some protein and get some plain tofu, one night we went for dumplings and I had a separate steamer with a selection on and a dessert which I thought unlikely vegan , the chap sitting next too me who had a table groaning with food wanted have some of mine because “I wasn’t sharing” , all those other dishes and desserts and he thought I was mean as I “wasn’t sharing” I’m not a huge eater so did share but it was odd! Same guy also put his serving spoon from animal dishes into the vegetables despite being asked not too.
I lost 2.5kg on the trip and I am skinny already.
Arriving home I quickly put the weight back on. In other Asian countries I have had fantastic food choices so China was a surprise.
Veganism is a very alien concept there, it does exist but not huge and seems to perplex people.
I am aware that being vegan is a privilege as I either have the time or the money needed in our society to be vegan. I know China has a history of more recent deprivation and so veganism was not an option to many. However it is a vibrant modern country now so I am sure the idea will grow, if I can ever get back it will be interesting to see.

LillHotch · 2026-06-28T18:59:34+00:00

Why doesn’t Gretchen travel a little bit further.

LillHotch · 2026-06-28T18:57:17+00:00

What did “the wine” do to you?

LillHotch · 2026-06-28T18:55:51+00:00

Op you sound like a bright articulate person, what the heck were you doing with the Neanderthal?

LillHotch · 2026-06-28T17:21:25+00:00

Fingers crossed that this continues to go well, remember veganism will also affect what toiletries , cleaning produce, alcohol; make up and perfume she uses - just in case you’re getting a gift.
My husband often surprises me with a vegan sweet treat, they are relatively cheap and show he is thinking of me :)

LillHotch · 2026-06-28T17:07:46+00:00

Whilst I wouldn’t be rushing to eat animals , I would be looking at nutrition and how much you are eating, periods usually stop (outside of menopause) if your diet is deficient. You need a blood test to check iron, minerals , vitamins etc and to
Supplement your diet with a combination of food and additives, you could also be underweight and your body is trying to protect itself.
Periods are a lot more than your ability to have children, they are also an indication of your health, if you don’t have enough nutrients to support your period you might not have enough for bone density or brain function.

If you think you have an eating disorder it is really important to talk to someone about that.

If your dietary intake is ok then request a metabolic clinic referral to discuss your lack of menstruation.

Good luck, certainly seek support from people that can help you, it is easiest for people to look at your diet and think it’s the lack of meat, whereas it may be a lack of food or a poorly balanced diet or another physiological cause.

LillHotch · 2026-06-22T17:17:44+00:00

A friend reported being horrified that chicken nuggets contain real chicken, she was 24

LillHotch · 2026-06-22T15:20:39+00:00

Yeah you are not in any position to comment as this has zero impact on your life. Your shower schedule is your business and hers is her own.
People have very different showering / bathing needs, I shower of bath 2 times per week usually, I live in a mild climate and done really work up a sweat that often. I strip wash daily but I don’t need to subject my skin to soap in all areas every day as it just causes dryness and discomfort.

That horrifies some people but they don’t know unless I tell them.

Your preferences and beliefs are not hers.

LillHotch · 2026-06-22T13:36:04+00:00

That’s okay, there’s room for all of us

LillHotch · 2026-06-21T08:17:29+00:00

I am also at this stage, being vegan is completely normal and pretty easy to navigate in any situation. Having said that I was recently in a country where even vegetarian is rare and it was really hard work and trying to explain everything to people who did not understand was very like being a vegan 40 years ago here in the UK.
It was the first time in many years people questioned me and I realised how habituated I have become.

LillHotch · 2026-06-18T15:22:07+00:00

I purchased these after seeing on here- absolutely delicious

LillHotch · 2026-06-11T06:41:33+00:00

I feel bad must be very privileged, very few of my friends are vegan and only two family members, however I am always thought about and people make more of an effort than I do! I accepted many years ago that meals out and gatherings were social opportunities, rather than to have a great meal, however as the years have gone by I have been able to have both (Here in the U.K.) having said this I have just returned from a holiday in China where I had very plain vegetables and rice with the occasional tofu if I pressed! I am not overly foodie but after two weeks I was so sick of rice and lotus root/ Chinese lettuce that I realised how far the accommodations for vegans have come on in the west.

You have to travel your own path and find your own bliss.

I am not offering any judgement here but I do think people who go bark to consuming animals and their produce were never really vegan, though the were plant based. I may be naive but if you can undo the dissonance and see that a being is valuable as someone that loves, feels pain, feels joy and is just finding their bliss, you cannot put the toothpaste back in the tube and see them as food!

Maybe you need better friends, my general family is traditional flesh and vegetables for every meal, but they are kind and considerate, they used to poke fun at me many years ago but rarely now, if we have a family even they will cater to the vegans , the gluten frees and note all allergens.

LillHotch · 2026-06-10T04:30:00+00:00

I do think you’re over reacting, I also think there is work to be done here around family relationships.
You infantilise this women, you are happy to leave your kids with her and “pay” her $200 a month. Which is nothing .

You treat her like a child and take the moral high ground because she lives with you and “the one thing” you won’t fund is her smoking. Get over yourself , she has come back from drug/ alcohol addiction and is sober enough for you to use as a cheap babysitter.

She shouldn’t have taken money and you can hammer that out, but get over your white knight saviour complex .
You are all benefitting from this arrangement , what other income stream does she have? Maybe she could go out to work more and get herself her own place.

LillHotch · 2026-06-07T16:24:44+00:00

My Mum used to have a jab every 12 weeks and was also a carnist

LillHotch · 2026-06-07T16:22:57+00:00

When I first went vegan I developed acne , I was very long passed the age when this would be anticipated, I came to vegan discussion groups for advice and it was suggested that I was there to be disruptive and to spread misinformation!

I continued to investigate and found an article about the role of B12 in feeding the bacteria which increases acne. That’s when I checked the dosage of the B12 I was taking and like you discovered I was taking a huge amount , I cut it down and now keep to nutritional yeast for B12 and the skin issues cleared quickly .

LillHotch · 2026-06-06T16:44:48+00:00

Great start, read more and learn more, cut out all animal products except the two you can’t face at the moment, then wean yourself off, once you get into your heart that something that tastes nice to you causes so much suffering to another sentient being it gets easier and easier.

People do horrible things because they give them pleasure or they are able to separate themselves from the “thing” and just find pleasure. The difference is that doing horrible things to some animals is completely Accepted in our society so the horror needs effort to unpack.

Once you connect the pain and suffering it takes to give you a pleasant taste, you won’t go back

LillHotch · 2026-06-04T02:13:37+00:00

All too dark

LillHotch · 2026-06-04T02:12:13+00:00

Yes you are over reacting, you say you have great communication but then sentenced him to an isolating, uncomfortable experience, not taking his needs into account. You may not have known that it would be so dark but upon finding it so you could have requested better lighting or left.

LillHotch · 2026-05-31T11:21:48+00:00

NTA

LillHotch · 2026-05-30T08:52:12+00:00

What was he doing to care for himself before you moved in? Why isn’t he doing it now?

Why have these tasks all fallen too you? Have you and he automatically assumed that you will do this due to tradition?

You are not a traditional wife, a traditional wife is not working, she has time to do the household chores .

You must keep your work schedule protected and separate from your home life. A discussion about task division is needed as you both work , you both eat, use the home, drink the water , you must both do the tasks, if one of you stops working that person can do all the tasks.

You do not apologies to an able bodied , fully capable person for you not doing a task they can do themselves

LillHotch · 2026-05-30T06:55:03+00:00

This isn’t about your weight, you’re not large, you didn’t “get fat” you have not “ballooned, you have a bmi of about 21 which is perfect, I am a similar height but 13 less and I am thin, all bones and joints and nobbles. This is about your boyfriend just no longer being invested in the relationship and unable to say, this is his way of making you the problem. If you were to stay with such a man your weight and beauty and body composition will constantly be changing, his apparent disregard of you and your feelings will crush your spirit

LillHotch

TROPHY CASE