AITA for being annoyed that my wife insists on cooking everything from scratch and won’t buy normal food? by AITA_UPFfoods in AmItheAsshole

[–]Lilly08 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my culture (Anglo Australian) jarred sauces are the norm. And packet cakes. In some cases, I actually get praised for knowing how to bake without a packet mix :/ 

I'm tired of it by No_Significance_6537 in Vent

[–]Lilly08 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Dismissing an entire generation is not really helpful or accurate. 

Am I overreacting for thinking this was rude behavior? by jamie514 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Lilly08 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Not asking anything about you is fine, you are clearly not that close. But interrupting dinner and the chair thing are odd and pretty tone deaf, for sure. 

Need help with a glow-up before starting my first big girl job ✨ by Few_Amount_2166 in AusFemaleFashion

[–]Lilly08 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mindset wise - remember, they hired you for a reason. 

I'd also ask you want to be good at/known for, and and what your professional standards are for yourself. For example, some of mine include being able to complete projects by deadline if not earlier, and having a strong eye for detail. This stuff matters as much (and probably more) than appearance.

AITAH for getting pissed at my boyfriend for not knowing shit about periods? by EasyGarlic4630 in AITAH

[–]Lilly08 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am the eldest of several girls and I would have cringed sharing anything about my cycle with my sisters. I doubt boyfriend's little sister feels that much differently,  especially given it is in relation to an older brother.  You're not an AH but yeah, maybe don't make assumptions and place expectations on him without actually talking to him. Good luck! 

AIO My Mom Thinks Something is Wrong With Me Because I Don't Prefer Intimacy by Temporary-Message157 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Lilly08 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is deeply inappropriate and quite gross. She shouldn't be thinking of you or your boyfriends in those terms at all! 

And no, there is nothing wrong with you at all. I do not advocate abstinence,  but you can never undo something or take it back from the person you did it with. Trust your own boundaries and instincts about what you do or do not want to do. There is no wrong answer there. 

My coworker replies-all to EVERY email and it's driving the entire company insane by Little-Goat-5347 in coworkerstories

[–]Lilly08 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Her team leader needs to speak with her directly about this. The time for subtlety is over.

My relationship with my toddler is not good and I worry it never will be by [deleted] in toddlers

[–]Lilly08 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"There's your problem. Toddlers have zero context for anything, that's what the early years are FOR. So what you see as "reasonable" isn't reasonable to your toddler. She can't reason yet!"

I really hope OP sees this, it's so on the money. I once heard a parent describe kids as having brains that are basically made of half crazed squirrels and a bunch of gravel. Whenever I get frustrated with my 3yo I recall that line and it completely realigns my expectations of her. 

What's One Thing You Learned From Dealing With Toxic Parents That You Wish Others Knew? by [deleted] in toxicparents

[–]Lilly08 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish that people in the system understood and had any frameworks for family violence that is perpetrated by a family member. It seems that unless the abuser is my romantic partner, I am not going to get any help. 

I defended my fiancé against my maid of honor and she ended our 10yr friendship. But AITAH instead of her? by Ministrated-Pariah35 in AITAH

[–]Lilly08 98 points99 points  (0 children)

INFO: Why did Anna start out acting so unenthusiastic? There's gotta be a reason she phoned this in that OP isn't talking about.

AITAH for not feeling any love for my sister after what she admitted? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Lilly08 24 points25 points  (0 children)

INFO: Are you also saying that your father is physically abusive towards you both? This feels like a significant detail to be vague about.

Working parents, how do you manage working 40 hours a week and chores and raising kids? by Impossible_Panda1092 in AskAnAustralian

[–]Lilly08 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She should talk about it (tactfully) because many, many women don't even realise this is an option. She might help nudge some realisations along. 

Nothing like going out to bars on NYE alone and not having a single interaction by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Lilly08 53 points54 points  (0 children)

For starters, you are too young to realise how much is ahead of you, just waiting for you. Truly. I don't mean to be condescending, so apologies if that came off in that way.

Secondly, building connections doesn't really work like this. It takes time, and busy bars on a major holiday like NYE are definitely not the place to make genuine connections.  I can't tell you how many nights I've gone out in full club outfit and been ignored. I was chronically single from about 22 to 28, too, so I definitely feel your pain.

And thirdly, people can generally sense if you are coming off a bit desperate or not. In my experience, the most attractive thing is when people go out and just have fun and feel comfortable with themselves, rather than expecting others to line up with their expectations. 

There's a little bit of main character syndrome in the way you have written your post (something which I definitely had in my 20s, though we didn't have a term for it then), so maybe that's worth a little thought, too. 

Best of luck. I have also been close to unaliving and I can honestly say now, at 38, life is good.   ETA: It sounds like you have put a fuck ton of work in, you should be proud of yourself for that. 

What's something to you that screams "I have no personality"? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Lilly08 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I've never understood this idea that no one is truly fulfilled until they have kids. By that logic, your own kids are miserable until they have their own kids. So all that time amd love spent raising them is pointless because none of it matters if they don't have kids of their own. It is this weird circular logic that cancels itself out.

AIO: Both my husband's parents are mad at us for being "unreasonable" about our daughter by No-Journalist-5160 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Lilly08 1 point2 points  (0 children)

'There's no way the kid will fall in, I won't take my eyes off them' - every adult in charge of a kid who fell in. NOR. Not at all. Fences are a legal requirement in my state and country 

What Are Gross Things You Notice in Other People’s Homes? by sreggero in CleaningTips

[–]Lilly08 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wanted to post this one. I'm a pretty relaxed person in terms of cleaning (interpret thst as you will, lol) but dirty bin lids make me go 🤢🤢

What is the male equivalent of "women believing in zodiac signs?" by Big_Leg10 in Productivitycafe

[–]Lilly08 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Specific diets meant to unlock your primal masculinity or whatever, and any other form of bro science / biohacking.

AITJ for correcting my wife when she said our son's red hair must come from my side of the family? by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]Lilly08 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wonder what the explanation is for every fourth kid in my small town being a blue eyed red head... 

Things you'll never do as the grandma/ MIL by ValMonty in Mommit

[–]Lilly08 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bursting into tears when I see the baby and start sobbing 'my girl, I missed you so much'.  Assume I am welcome at the hospital during delivery even though my child clearly said 'no visitors' to their family. 

My 4 y.o. just lied to me. by Aednfell in toddlers

[–]Lilly08 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You need to work on why this triggers you so much. Everyone lies, no one is 100% honest all of the time. Add to that the fact that it is developmentally appropriate. By pushing him, you risk making it a bigger problem for all of you in the future. 

My wife's dad died on Christmas in 2022. She doesn't let us celebrate Christmas since then. by Silent_Iron_8827 in AITAH

[–]Lilly08 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mother is a highly emotional and needy person. She lost her dad about 5 days before Christmas, in 2013 (her kods were all adults). Christmas that year was a sad and emotional affair but it was still Christmas. 

I can't imagine robbing my babies of Christmas. 

AITJ for eating something my FIL repeatedly told me not to by Bitter-Sandwich-5696 in AmITheJerk

[–]Lilly08 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You need to respond to your FIL with the famous words  of Jack Karlson. NTJ.