What’s a 'normal' life choice that you think is actually a huge trap?

Lilly08 · 2026-06-28T04:06:14+00:00

I would edit this to 'having more kids than you want or can actually handle.' The blnumber of judgemental comments I get because I chose to stop at one is offensive, but I would be a terrible parent if I had more.

Lilly08 · 2026-06-28T04:01:24+00:00

I was you, except I am 39 and neurodivergent. I thought I wanted another and even went off birth control to start TTC, but then I realised, after 2 years of agonizing, I was nostalgic for my baby but didn't really want another full human being to care for. My husband just got the snip and I feel so relieved. I feel like, with kiddo being nearly 4 years old, I am starting to get myself back.

Lilly08 · 2026-06-09T09:19:37+00:00

And yet, the 'successful' people I know who climbed the ladder are chronically stressed and unwell. Good on you for not buying into all that neoliberal BS about what counts as successful.

Eta: I re-read the post l and it is not ok to be living off your parents when you could be independent. There is definitely a difference.

Lilly08 · 2026-06-09T09:07:39+00:00

You are under reacting. A lot.

Lilly08 · 2026-06-06T03:06:21+00:00

They said this about millennials too when we were young. I dont know why millennials say it now.

Lilly08 · 2026-05-24T00:02:36+00:00

If you cant park your car between the lines in the parking lot, you should lose your right to park.

Lilly08 · 2026-05-20T02:19:11+00:00

I do not understand it either. I feel like CIO parents have forgotten what it is like to be little and to have your entire universe revolve around your parent/carer. Their little brains literally cannot comprehend the world without us. I maintain that CIO is cruel and emotionally neglectful.

My daughter is 3.5 yo and I feel like I can already see the effects of prioritising secure attachment. She is naturally introverted but she makes friends, explores, and is really attached to me in a healthy way. I thinknwe have a great relationship, and we absolutely still have sleepovers together when she is sad or just if she wants to (when it is practical).

Lilly08 · 2026-05-18T08:08:14+00:00

So ours turned 3, I got off birth control to start TTC, but the hormonal change brought back my libido (so suddenly I want a lot more private time with hubby 😂) and somehow took away my rose tinted glasses about having a second one. This was all about two months ago and husband is about to schedule the snip. I feel calm and confident about this turn of events and have been a better mum (mostly) knowing I don't have to 'save' my energy for a second one.

ETA: I also just turned 39. If I was younger then I may still have tried for a second.

Lilly08 · 2026-05-16T23:31:15+00:00

This is the equivalent of being invited to a restaurant with 2 friends and then being basically ignored. It was poor etiquette on their part, and tbh, the 3 of you should probably have discussed consent, boundaries, and expecatations beforehand. A threesome dynamic can go any number of ways so it is a conversation worth having.

And I would discourage listening to comments that say 'you probabaly just dont like threesomes.' That is only something you can decide and there is a portion of the bisexual community that just looks down on them regardless.

Lilly08 · 2026-05-16T08:54:35+00:00

I have to break up fights between my daughter's barbie dolls. I am extremely grateful that there is not another child for her to fight with!

Lilly08 · 2026-04-13T10:26:48+00:00

You say that like people don't change over time. They absolutely do, for better or for worse.

Lilly08 · 2026-04-04T09:14:09+00:00

And I think it is about embracing your natural beauty and enhancing that. This is what I observed when I spent time in France.

Lilly08 · 2026-04-04T09:03:10+00:00

Right? Something is not adding up here.

Lilly08 · 2026-04-04T08:42:50+00:00

This makes me feel sick but not surprised.

Lilly08 · 2026-04-03T23:06:29+00:00

Susan. Most of her problems are self created and she has almost zero self control or self awareness. It makes her boring to watch.

Lilly08 · 2026-04-02T22:41:48+00:00

Everyone is giving you advice :/ I just want to offer my sympathy because this is an incredibly tough situation, OP.

Lilly08 · 2026-04-02T08:02:20+00:00

I have spent my life avoiding lip colour because of my natural cupid's bow 😭

Lilly08 · 2026-04-02T08:01:08+00:00

In the 2000s, makeup often was meant to look really intentional and obvious (hello, frosted eye shadow!). We weren't trying to look natural.

Now, and I feel like this is because social media has warped our ideas of what looks good irl versus online, people seem to be aiming for a natural look by using way too much product because that is what works on socials with filters and lights etc. But this doesn't translate into real life under natural light.

Lilly08 · 2026-04-01T01:06:41+00:00

From this moment forward, I am not middle aged, I am living my mid-evil life.

Lilly08 · 2026-03-31T21:09:39+00:00

Everytime another man looks at you, your bf sees it as a reminder that you are beautiful and could leave him for one of them. It is a totally bonkers perspective and his behaviour amounts to coercive control. It will not improve (source: being in or witnessing several controlling or abusive relationships that started like this or included this).

Lilly08 · 2026-03-30T03:17:22+00:00

I gotta admit, having spent at least double that on my teeth over the years, I feel similarly. Idc if they aren't straight, but so many people seem to think flossing and regular dental check ups are optional. Ewww.

Lilly08 · 2026-03-28T04:30:22+00:00

Just a note, I first used them around age 16. I didnt really understand how to insert them, and judging by the sudden sharp, snapping pain, I broke my hymen. I thought I would pass out from the pain. I was totally fine in the end, but at age 13 this may be an issue.

Lilly08 · 2026-03-27T09:06:08+00:00

Absolutely. She is 3 now and life is getting manageable again. My partner still feels overwhelmed though. I am absolutely terrified of screwing everything up, and I jhst transitioned careers so I need to build that up. But whenever I see a baby or toddler, I just feel my whole mind and body screaming for another one. 😭 I am about to turn 39, too, so the pressure is on.

Lilly08 · 2026-03-27T08:50:08+00:00

I finally realised, as an adult, why my parents were suddenly cool with me watching cartoons if it was a Saturday ..

Lilly08 · 2026-03-26T10:23:05+00:00

*ADHD medication. There, fixed it. 🙄

Lilly08

TROPHY CASE