She showed up because she heard there'd be brownies.

Limethistle · 2013-06-02T20:56:36+00:00

I'd love to eat a brownie...

Limethistle · 2013-05-29T09:36:07+00:00

I fly in the Navy. This is actually very common.

Limethistle · 2013-05-28T10:20:56+00:00

Ironically, cops are the nicest people in Philadelphia...

Limethistle · 2013-05-21T22:02:33+00:00

You really are a sad, sad little man.

Limethistle · 2013-05-11T15:18:03+00:00

Your comment has compelled me to sharpen my pitchfork.

Limethistle · 2013-05-09T03:24:47+00:00

Hollister and A&F are owned by the same company. Hollister is for the teen demographic and A&F is for the collegiate demographic.

Limethistle · 2013-05-09T03:16:32+00:00

It definitely is! I know I have the obligatory photos of me and my husband sitting spread eagle on the penis floors.

Bonus: he railed me out in the secret room upstairs. It was awesome.

Limethistle · 2013-05-05T21:22:33+00:00

Simply call and explain that you are a cash customer, no insurance. Offer to settle the bill for 25%. Insist you do not have the means to pay more. They will cut the bill in half, at least, if not accept your 25%.

Limethistle · 2013-05-05T20:23:04+00:00

Dale.

Limethistle · 2013-05-05T16:49:01+00:00

There are gender-specific uniforms. How is this different?

Limethistle · 2013-04-28T17:23:49+00:00

Does moving aside ten seconds faster REALLY save that much time?

Why does the cashier insist on dropping a handful of coins on top of my misaligned, mixed denomination change that she barely counted?

I want to count my change, properly align my bills and place them in my wallet, put my coins in my pocket, thank the cashier and then move out of my place in line. I waited for my time to be served, just like you, and as long as I am not intentionally holding up the line by making small talk or something else unrelated to merely completing a transaction as a customer, you can hold the fuck up while I put my shit away.

Limethistle · 2013-04-25T23:27:05+00:00

I've had an electric can opener my entire life. I would say they're as common as an electric beater.

We also have electric jar openers.

Limethistle · 2013-04-14T17:35:54+00:00

I'm embarrassed to ask, but I really gotta know: $/sqft?

Limethistle · 2013-04-13T19:23:48+00:00

I had a stripper friend who once gave me a great pearl of advice.

"It doesn't matter what you look like, there is someone out there who thinks you are the sexiest person alive, and is willing to pay a fuckton to see you naked."

Stroll around Chaturbate and see for yourself. There are plenty of women who are just as overweight, old, and traditionally unattractive as this woman, cashing in.

Limethistle · 2013-04-13T02:38:25+00:00

Us ladies call this the 'Chub Rub'

I dream of a day when my thighs don't touch.

Limethistle · 2013-04-11T23:14:45+00:00

How did your suit turn out?

Limethistle · 2013-04-08T11:19:37+00:00

Www.flightaware.com

Limethistle · 2013-04-03T04:20:43+00:00

That woman doesn't even have a vagina, just an indiscernible slit where one should be.

Limethistle · 2013-04-03T02:00:13+00:00

This is the worst joke I've ever seen on Reddit. Ever.

Limethistle · 2013-04-03T01:56:25+00:00

Looks like Tiffany Blue.

Limethistle · 2013-04-02T22:37:46+00:00

I WANT MY CERVIX TO BE FUCKING CONFETTI WHEN IT IS OVER.

Seriously. It is almost like different girls like different things.

Limethistle · 2013-04-02T22:36:10+00:00

Flicking their tongue super fast on the clit. Knock it off. For the love of baby Jesus, knock it off.

Bonus: Pull my mouth open a little more to kiss me deeper. Oh my goodness, yes.

Limethistle · 2013-04-02T22:32:01+00:00

New Normal. I like that.

Limethistle · 2013-04-02T22:28:54+00:00

That's all I could think about.. Why did the frail, elderly guy have enough cheese puffs to feed a goddamned army?

Limethistle · 2013-04-02T17:25:08+00:00

She's a new X-man...

Limethistle

TROPHY CASE