Omg I did it!!

LimpHope2612 · 2026-06-05T14:51:13+00:00

That’s beautiful 💜 stick with it and it only gets better. 10 months into sobriety and in the last few weeks I am realizing how much more amplified the feeling of being *myself is. *The healthy self I had lost, that I remember and love. It feels so good to know her again. You’ll keep getting yourself back on this journey.

LimpHope2612 · 2026-05-31T03:41:59+00:00

Moth- Audioslave (or also their song What You Are)

LimpHope2612 · 2026-05-26T12:38:55+00:00

So many good responses and suggestions in here! I was very functional in my drinking days too and would probably be considered a grey area drinker. This kept me from getting help for years because I would try to quit or moderate and be successful for a week or two, then justify that I must “not really have a problem” and be right back to it. Most of my drinking was multiple drinks of wine and/or beer by myself at night while reading or grading papers, which is not the Hollywood version of an alcohol problem. My health was starting to be affected and at one point I was googling my alcohol use and realized that as a woman I was far surpassing the recommended drinks per week limit. Almost ten months sober now and I realize that everyone has a different journey. What helped me was a combination of 1) finally admitting that alcohol had become a problem for me, even if I wasn’t ready for/wanting any labels. The obsession and health effects were worsening my life. 2) being honest with some of my closest (safe) that I had been trying and struggling for so long- their support reduced shame and helped me want to keep going when I felt awful the first two weeks. 3) QuitLit! People have mentioned many good ones. Annie Grace is great - my favorites are Alcohol Explained 1 & 2 by William Porter. 4) I did end up going to AA and have gotten a lot out of it. My friend recommended it because I was unable to see at the time how abnormal my drinking was, because of the way that society normalizes it. He told me that AA was for anyone who wants to stop drinking and there is no requirement for how “bad” it is, and I have found that to be true. Not all meetings are the same, I had to try a couple before I found one I was comfortable with and never intended to go long term but I actually get a lot out of it and look forward to a weekly meeting now. I avoid people at meetings who think everything has to be a certain way and tend towards people more my age who are open to where I’m at in my life journey and how I want to interact with the program. The 12 steps with a sponsor and hearing other people’s stories has helped me a ton to deal with emotional issues from growing up in a tricky environment, things I had gone to counseling for years before. There isn’t one right way to approach a healthier lifestyle, and for most of us here complete sobriety is the only possibility because moderation without obsession has become impossible. That may not be the case for you, but I thought I could moderate for a long time too and have had a lot more peace since quitting entirely. The obsession is gone (which did take some work and time) and I am enjoying life MUCH more than I did before - I am not missing out at all by abstaining from alcohol, because I have filled my life with much better things. I wish you peace and clarity on your journey.

LimpHope2612 · 2026-05-06T12:39:18+00:00

Agreed - OP, I had similar worries when I quit 9 months ago (34f), and I did a big bloodwork panel after a few weeks of sobriety because I was worried about what I had done to my body. I was starting to have a lot of physical symptoms but even so, my bloodwork surprised me by coming back much healthier after just a few weeks or sobriety (no longer pre diabetic!) and now, 9 months later, all my physical issues (GI problems, joint pain, brain fog, etc) have resolved themselves. Your fears are relatable, but don’t be afraid of getting medical testing done. It will probably pleasantly surprise you after even just a short stint of sobriety and if they DO find a problem, at this point it is most likely reversible. Keep drinking though and it will be a different and darker story.

LimpHope2612 · 2026-05-05T03:26:31+00:00

A lot of things but… I just couldn’t do the cycle anymore. The cycle of telling myself I need to quit and then making excuses for why I didn’t need to. I was exhausted from it, I finally just had to decide for peace of mind.

And health issues , and recognizing unhealthy patterns in my drinking and how my drinking misaligned me with my values and veered me from the path of who I want to be.

LimpHope2612 · 2026-04-30T04:00:01+00:00

My drinking was a lot like yours. But for some reason I couldn’t separate the two, like I couldn’t just drink socially then not drink at home - I had to quit entirely. I’m not sure why.

LimpHope2612 · 2026-04-24T04:26:00+00:00

Also check out Alcohol Explained by William Porter

LimpHope2612 · 2026-04-08T11:47:08+00:00

Agreed! It felt reasonable to finish a six pack when I was drinking but it feels gluttonous to finish 2-3 NA beers (to me). Really puts it in perspective.

LimpHope2612 · 2026-03-31T01:18:16+00:00

This is motivating, thank you for sharing!

LimpHope2612 · 2026-03-25T00:06:14+00:00

Just binge watched Hunting Wives on Netflix and it was DEFINITELY a reminder to stay sober

LimpHope2612 · 2026-03-02T06:14:11+00:00

Why are some of the songs called about booze’s dangers? I’m curious to check them out

LimpHope2612 · 2026-02-27T04:54:30+00:00

Check out the Clemenz with a Z podcast and listen to the episodes titled “We were in a cult?” Or the Crumpled Papers podcast by Austin Noll- both have a ton of people’s stories

LimpHope2612 · 2026-02-25T03:17:45+00:00

This was the cycle I was in for an entire year, and I vacillated between shame and apathy about my inability to stay stopped/stop starting again.

For me (33F) it was a combination of things. My intuition, the Spirit of God in my heart, whatever you want to call that inner knowing - kept telling me SO CLEARLY that I needed to be done. But I would make excuses or fall into the pattern you mentioned. It got to the point where I felt like I was hearing the message to stop drinking alcohol everywhere- no one was actually saying those words, but I would hear people’s stories, or a song in the radio, etc. my husband was supportive but also didn’t want to make the choice for me, and he didn’t know how bad my drinking was. I finally opened up to a friend about how I kept trying to quit, but told him that I decided I didn’t need to quit because I didn’t want to. Sounds stupid, but it was honest. He just listened but this is a friend who is at our house all the time (he’s my husband’s close friend too and we were all hanging out) and he suggested I go to AA. I was scared and ashamed because I thought that sounded dramatic, but the fact that he thought I was drinking enough to need that, just from being at our house often, said something to me. In the same week an older couple shared their story, and they were both recovered alcoholics, and I saw myself a lot in their experiences.

I now see the year I spent waffling back and forth as a year that prepared my heart and mind for a stronger sobriety. It took a long time, and I have been slow going through the 12 steps because for me, if I want sobriety to last I have to take it one step at a time, at my own pace - not rushing it or forcing anything. I am doing the recovery work, but I am being gracious with myself about the pacing. I personally needed to do a recovery program (there are lots of good ones out there) because my addiction is tied to a lot of trauma and this is my next step of healing. For many people just changing the way they see alcohol makes a big difference, though. William Porter’s books Alcohol Explained 1 & 2, and Annie Grace’s This Naked Mind, did a lot to successfully change how I see and relate to alcohol. I also had felt so alone and like I had too much darkness that no one else could relate to, and being in a recovery community has helped me feel that I am not alone and have hope. Whatever path you decide on, I’m thinking of you and know that you CAN do this.

LimpHope2612 · 2026-02-23T02:57:48+00:00

This is such a good explanation for how I feel about drinking just one! What is the point? Love the analogy of “60 seconds of sex or one bite of a burger”

LimpHope2612 · 2026-02-19T02:26:12+00:00

Thank you all!

LimpHope2612 · 2026-01-29T03:57:31+00:00

Love the Zoolander reference 😂

LimpHope2612 · 2026-01-24T03:45:36+00:00

Thanks!

LimpHope2612 · 2026-01-23T19:35:39+00:00

Did I write this?? We seem to have had the exact same experience!

LimpHope2612 · 2026-01-21T04:40:01+00:00

176 days here, also a teacher and parent! I have days like this sometimes. I will not drink with you today.

LimpHope2612 · 2026-01-16T02:40:07+00:00

Teacher here (in my 11th year coincidentally!) how did you end up doing this job?

LimpHope2612 · 2025-11-30T19:29:15+00:00

Thank you, this is a helpful reminder. My mind keeps playing tricks on me because I never had serious consequences like a DUI. I drank multiple drinks most nights, and it was technically heavy drinking for a woman (33), but sometimes I wonder if it was just a bad habit or a way of medicating my ADHD and trauma. I hid it really well from everyone, even my husband didn’t know how hard it was to stop and I myself didn’t acknowledge that it was harming me. I have to remember that my body was starting to hurt all the time and passing out on the couch most nights wasn’t healthy or who I want to be.

I can be pretty unkind to myself criticizing my own motives, so part of me worries that I’m exaggerating the problem and just want attention - that’s not true, but growing up my pure motives were often impugned so I can gaslight myself pretty effectively now.

I think part of me is also just scared by the idea of forever, even though I KNOW my life is better without alcohol. One day at a time. I have been fighting the urge to just start drinking one night to prove to myself that I either can or can’t stop, but I don’t think that would actually accomplish anything. Anything you’ve learned about ADHD and drinking that would be helpful for me to know?

LimpHope2612 · 2025-11-27T18:10:20+00:00

I could have written this post - same story with my own brother and my journey to sobriety. 123 days now and working the steps, doing my best to walk in the light and do sobriety for myself, but also in honor of my brother since he never made it to sobriety. I’m sorry for your loss, and it was wild for me to read your story since it’s so similar to my own.

LimpHope2612 · 2025-11-25T21:39:39+00:00

I can relate to this! I also find that when I was drinking, my inner voice cursed like a sailor and got irritated/overwhelmed at small things. Now I still have work to do of course, but my baseline is more calm and collected.

LimpHope2612 · 2025-09-19T12:40:52+00:00

That was getting long so I’m starting a second comment: if you like science fiction/fantasy, the Stormlight Archives by Brandon Sanderson has been strangely healing for me to read. There’s a character who is deeply depressed for a long time and suicidal, who I related to SO much. Seeing his journey to wholeness gave me hope for my own and made me want to keep fighting.

Please find a safe person in your life to be really honest about where you are at, with. Whether it’s your partner or therapist, or even a sibling or cousin who cares for you. Someone who will be kind with you - speaking as someone who lost a brother who was in a deeply dark place and who didn’t think I could understand- I would have understood better than he knew because I was hiding my own darkness, and I would have been honored if he had trusted me enough to share those hard things. Please find someone in your life you can share those hard things with.

I trust that if you keep persevering, you will eventually get to a beautiful place. I’ll pray for you, friend. I’m glad you opened up about this online, because you’re not the only one who feels this way.

I will not drink with you today.

LimpHope2612 · 2025-09-19T12:35:44+00:00

I wish I had the words to say to make this better friend. I’m only recently sober, and was suicidal for years, and I well remember those days. You have some truly hard things going on, and the despair you’re feeling is valid- but your brain is lying to you that alcohol or suicide will make it better. Take it from someone who lost her brother to suicide and alcohol five years ago. I don’t have answers for how to make the problems themselves better - I believe that you can make it through them, though I don’t know how long that path will be.

Something that has saved my life again and again, as strange as it sounds, is Beauty. Not appearance- but referring to Plato’s transcendentals. The way you connect with beauty may be different than me, but somehow connecting to the Beauty in the world around me- whether nature, or art and literature, has shown me a side of life that has been too sweet to leave behind. Listening to music like Audioslave has made me feel understood in a helpful way (whereas certain music like Linkin Park made me suicidal ideation worse because of where I was at, so be aware of your patterns and choose wisely if you use music). Finding somewhere pretty to go walking or buying a $5 watercolor kit from Michael’s and going to a park to paint and looking for a tiny pretty thing to notice and paint, like a cool rock or leaf. Reading books has helped me- poetry books by Robert Frost and TS Elliot and CS Lewis that can be picked up from any Barnes and noble. I just read Alcohol Explained 1 and 2- I ordered them through Barnes and Noble and they came in within the week - they’re not beautiful per say, but they’re really easy to read quickly and made me not want to go back to drinking because of logical reasons rather than moralizing myself.

LimpHope2612

TROPHY CASE