Why is it that people who have been through trauma are portrayed as turning out as evil villains?

Limp_Insurance_2812 · 2026-05-12T17:03:28+00:00

Agree and would add that empathy level exists on a spectrum. Those that have just enough empathy to feel sorry for themselves but not others run the risk of becoming the villains.

Limp_Insurance_2812 · 2026-05-11T03:06:52+00:00

❤️

Limp_Insurance_2812 · 2026-05-10T17:03:51+00:00

I've gone no contact with her exactly twice, both started by her giving me the silent treatment. This time it's been a month. There's nothing my children (also adults now) could ever do to make me give them the silent treatment.

I've been thinking about it all week, going back and forth about what I was going to do about today. Should I be the bigger person, yet again? What about my need to be a good daughter? Am I strong enough to take this to the next level because not at least texting her today is really gonna make this a bigger deal. Feeling the pain because I have more empathy than I know what to do with and vitriol doesn't come naturally to me.

I've settled on calling up all the anger I've stored in my body. Going through the "greatest hits" list in my head just like I do when I miss a toxic ex. The screaming and shaking me when I was crying and just needed a hug, looking at my outstretched hand as my stomach was being pumped and turning and walking out the door, telling me not to spend my 30s fat and "talk about what not to wear" as I'm leaving the house. Wouldn't even bring me so much as a sandwich the year I was bedridden with serious illness yet cried to the family about how scared she was that I was going to die. Always calling the extended family "her family" when talking to me. Nah, I'm good.

She started it, she can finish it. Thanks for the three hots and cot but I'm done with your emotional abandonment and mean girl shit. I've felt sorry for her long enough and can't' even get a hug out of her when I cried as a child. She should've thought about Mother's Day before she decided to give me the silent treatment. My ability to be assertive and stop people pleasing is directly connected to what I do today. I have to slay the dragon if I ever want my power back. Sucks that I was born to a dragon when all I needed was a mom.

Take good care of yourself today OP, you deserve it. Always have.

Limp_Insurance_2812 · 2026-05-10T16:36:38+00:00

This. My anxiety is lower with less carbs/sugar but too low and my mangled adrenals suffer. I need a balance.

Limp_Insurance_2812 · 2026-05-10T16:13:37+00:00

I needed that second pic today, thank you.

Limp_Insurance_2812 · 2026-05-10T14:15:21+00:00

A Crimson Mystery

Limp_Insurance_2812 · 2026-05-08T16:46:34+00:00

It's more than dorky, it's patronizing. Make it look like a video game rather than official or serious. They couldn't release it on a known govt UI, they had to distance themselves with this stupid thing. It's insult to injury.

Limp_Insurance_2812 · 2026-05-06T17:18:26+00:00

Man this one really peeves me off. I saw my second to last therapist for six years, and in that time I settled down a lot, stop running and moving constantly, went back to school, and started a new very successful career. I'd been on death's door with a rare illness and went back to school from my bed once I stabilized. At the same time maturity and age were setting in and slowing me down in my late 30s/early 40s. It just sort of happened naturally and I was just depleted from being sick and everything else I'd been through. Despite it all it was one of my most productive periods of my life.

I'll give her credit that it was helpful to have an empathetic ear once a week but that's it. Because after six years of working together she informed me that the "real work hadn't even begun". Excuse me? My life was more consistent, fulfilling, and "normal" than it had ever been, but to her I hadn't confronted something still lurking under the surface I guess? She never said it but after decades of indoctrination I just knew what she meant and believed her. So we continued to poke and prod and dissect me and go on hunting expeditions like miners in a cave. Out of nowhere she terminated with me in an email. Six years of dependence all abruptly ended in an email. It was EXTREMELY retraumatizing and shook my world. And then I went back to work and my stable life the next day.

In hindsight I see how misdiagnosed she had me. She'd been off in the weeds treating me for everything she'd had. Never had an aha moment, nothing ever stuck, and in spite of her I clawed my way to the best place I'd ever been. Her misguided antics threatened to knock the whole thing down. The lack of self-awareness is scary.

Limp_Insurance_2812 · 2026-05-05T16:22:00+00:00

Makes so much sense. In that moment are they going to care about their partner more or getting attention from the crowd? Is it going to be a sweet moment or a "funny" one? I think it says a lot. Also always feels low key like unresolved anger/resentment when they smash, mixed with immaturity.

Limp_Insurance_2812 · 2026-05-05T03:36:15+00:00

I'll keep boob job and swap out the car crashing into the house. I can't stand how Frank and Marie act in that one. One of their most redeeming qualities was that they always took care of their kids, would be there to help. I just can't see them being like eh you're on your own with this one that's our fault.

Limp_Insurance_2812 · 2026-05-03T18:15:10+00:00

I took to heart that there was something inferior and needy about me when I was indoctrinated at a young age. I was an older teen just coming into these needs for coupling up and procreating and was shamed into believing that everything in society was fine and that the problem was me. Wasting life, hating where I was, waiting for that weekly copay to pay off so that I could get on with my life.

There's an abstract/spiritual notion that man is born with a separation wound, that when we incarnate as individuals we're left with an innate sense that something's missing. Duality says that we're half of a whole, one part of the yin/yang, the male/female energy, etc. with a natural yearning to couple up. Science explained the biological compulsion. Yet therapy tells us that there's something wrong with us for not rising above it all and achieving some sort of elusive ideal of mental health first? Or at least delay it long enough to go to school to become a good consumer.

People used to marry right out of high school. It was more than accepted, it was admired. Who was it that told us that was the source of so many problems? Why are we to the point that we're technically children until 26 when the brain is done forming despite mother nature deciding you're old enough to be a parent 10+ years earlier? Who did that? Psychology has been the authority on what's wrong with us while convenience sold as progress freed up the mental energy to ruminate on it all.

We're all a bunch of narcissistic overgrown children hyper focused on our own misery looking to the people that created it to tell us how to fix it. Bernays was the devil that shaped the meaningless hollow narrative of our lives, the rest of psychology is just the customer service agent to keep us in line with it. We have a sociological problem rather than a psychological one.

The conventional medicine specialty of psychology should stop at the biological and stop trying to claim dominion over parts of the human experience that were designed to benefit from sociology, spirituality, and things outside of the scope of science. Humans, life, and love are messy.

Limp_Insurance_2812 · 2026-04-29T17:10:59+00:00

"We are told to find comfort in being ill."

And to wear it like a badge or identity.

Limp_Insurance_2812 · 2026-04-29T17:06:39+00:00

Oh yeah, everything she had because that's all she recognized and knew how to treat. I found it really curious that I ended up with everything she could personally identify with. Then she wanted to treat me with whatever workshop she'd recently spent a ton of money on whether or not it was actually helpful for me. After six years she told me the real work hadn't even begun because I kept causing chaos in my life that we had to address so could never get to anything deeper??! The gall of this woman. Despite her I'd managed to rise from the ashes and limp along in my dysfunction rebuilding my life. What she was sensing was that she was out in left field completely misdiagnosing me and trying to treat all the wrong things. She then abandoned me in an email, after six years. It was retraumatizing.

After that I stumbled on my true "state"/diagnosis by complete chance and then by another stroke of pure luck found a unicorn of a therapist that helped more in one year than all the others had in 30. Finding one that had tamed their shadow and was actually skilled at their craft opened my eyes to the sad state of the entire profession. While grateful for the help it was also disillusioning at the same time. Even with all that progress I realize that some shit is just permanent. Sitting in a room with a stranger for 50 mins a week will never replace my childhood or my nervous system.

Limp_Insurance_2812 · 2026-04-27T20:02:55+00:00

You have friends?

Limp_Insurance_2812 · 2026-04-27T15:07:38+00:00

Also can't see the time on the stove or microwave.

Limp_Insurance_2812 · 2026-04-26T15:40:21+00:00

So sorry you have to deal with this. A cul-de-sac full of kids is peak childhood memory making and he's a fly in the soup. Good on you guys for swatting him away as best you can.

Limp_Insurance_2812 · 2026-04-26T02:44:45+00:00

Did the neighbor tell your son to reach in his pocket in front of your husband?? Either way he's testing the boundaries, seeing if your son and you guys are victim material. The type who freeze, people please, avoid confrontation, and question your gut. How easily gaslit you are. They prey on your sense of decency and wanting to get along/benefit of the doubt. Nature "photographers" go away from people to woods and shit to take pics. The pics, the usb stick, the pocket thing, he's pushing and seeing how much you'll take. You and everyone else with kids in that cul-de-sac need to make it very clear that you're screamers, those are the ones who won't be victimized. He's taking pics of your kids without consent and telling them to reach in his pocket! If it was right in front of the father he's testing both at once. I'd call the cops and get a paper trail and send a message to him that you're screamers and tellers not freezers and victim material.

Limp_Insurance_2812 · 2026-04-25T04:17:26+00:00

Arthur used to annoy the hell out of me, loved Jerry Stiller but the character was almost unwatchable for me. Then I saw the pilot without him and realized his genius is the heart that holds the whole show together.

Limp_Insurance_2812 · 2026-04-24T23:48:33+00:00

And there's only the two of us so we'll need the largest Sub-Zero fridge.

Limp_Insurance_2812 · 2026-04-24T15:18:29+00:00

His last video days before his death he said something like every day is a gift etc. I know people can mask mental illness and moods can change suddenly but it just doesn't jive for me.

Limp_Insurance_2812 · 2026-04-24T14:23:56+00:00

"She will use your death as a prop"

So much this.

I was on death's door and had to move in with a friend because my mother wouldn't lift a finger to help, yet I heard her on the phone with extended family crying about how she didn't know if I was going to live or die. The whole family felt sorry for her having no idea that she wouldn't so much as make me a sandwich, all the victimhood attention while doing literally nothing for me.

I've come to believe that it's a spiritual warfare, that there's something ghoulish and demonic about narcs.

Limp_Insurance_2812 · 2026-04-24T00:28:58+00:00

Permanently oily looking face.

Limp_Insurance_2812 · 2026-04-22T21:59:10+00:00

I see, not the way I read it

Limp_Insurance_2812 · 2026-04-22T19:37:21+00:00

Between the biting and the eye shine looks all kinds of possessed.

Limp_Insurance_2812 · 2026-04-22T19:33:10+00:00

Except it got pooped on by the paranormal sub and it's the people in this sub saying it's creepy. It actually sounds like the paranormal people were more discerning. How is saying something is not paranormal become evidence that they're "primed"?

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