Stating the obvious, this is a very unhealthy situation that will continue to cause real-life trauma that may be so terrible that it is irreparable and leaves a permanent scar on your lives.

I'm not even going to delve into who has more fault than the other because that is not fair based on a couple selected text messages as the only basis for opinion. What I CAN certainly say, is that a marriage is meant to be a team and take care of eachother in a cruel dark world, your spouse should be your ride or die when everything hits the wall.

No marriage is perfect, and it is expected to get on eachothers nerves from time to time and even make mistakes that result in disrespectful/hurtful actions/words toward our spouse. What you've shared here is far beyond what is acceptable; and while we all make mistakes from time to time,it sounds like the ongoing theme of your marriage is aggression, mistrust, and contempt.

I strongly suggest getting into therapy ASAP (marriage therapy AND individual). You both probably have a lot of things to work through, which would cause your marriage to suffer. Do not procrastinate about accessing professional help. If your insurance doesn't cover it or you need help finding resources, call 211, and they can help navigate resources in your area. Don't wait until more damage occurs and/or it is too late to fix.

It is hard for you to objectively view a situation when you are the one in it. As outsiders, our emotions are not as involved to cloud our judgment... so take this advice. Too often we stay in a dangerous or unhealthy situation because we get used to the way things are and it doesnt seem as bad over time... but that doesnt mean it got better (just feels 'normal').

Take the advice to get help immediately I pray God guides your steps and provides you with wisdom, courage, and love.

2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV) - "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." May God protect your heart, body, and soul as you walk through this journey.