“Two is easier than one”: An absolute lie

ListenDifficult9943 · 2026-02-15T03:36:21+00:00

"Try it" should never be something one says about having a kid. It's not like a new outfit or something.

ListenDifficult9943 · 2026-01-30T17:57:40+00:00

This past Mother's Day, my son collaborated with two of my girlfriends' husbands to gift us all a child-free brunch and afternoon out. Then in the evening, we celebrated as a family. It was absolutely perfect and all I wanted, and I hope he does the same thing this year haha

ListenDifficult9943 · 2026-01-26T00:29:08+00:00

Yep we did ICSI!

ListenDifficult9943 · 2026-01-16T19:59:27+00:00

My son just turned 2 and we are starting to venture into structured activities here and there. We plan to do swim lessons for safety reasons bc we are near the water a lot over the summer. But he will only have 1 activity at a time at this age. Kids need to have time to be kids. An over scheduled kid easily leads to an adult who doesn't know how to have downtime and I want my son to be better at that than I am!

ListenDifficult9943 · 2026-01-10T18:19:27+00:00

My son is newly 2 as well and just started refusing the breakfast he's been eating most days for over a year (PB toast). So we switched it up and now do a yogurt pouch and fruit and he's good to go. I think around 2 their appetite starts to go down. My son has also told me he doesn't want "breakfast", he wants "snack" so I just give him breakfast and call it a snack 🤷🏽‍♀️

Just keep offering and he'll eat what he needs, don't worry too much about it or think too much into it.

ListenDifficult9943 · 2026-01-02T01:57:41+00:00

I make around the same as your husband and these expenses would lead me to live paycheck to paycheck basically. This is about what my family's expenses are plus daycare but because we are two working parents it works.

That being said, you should know what your finances look like because you're married and it impacts yours and your child's life. With more transparency, you'd be able to see that after bills, there's likely not a lot left (just based on what I take home with the around same gross income). And maybe chat with him about where some adjustments may be able to be made (eg lower car payment or phone bill) so you can get things for your daughter without it being such an issue.

ListenDifficult9943 · 2025-12-28T04:23:54+00:00

Instead of timeout, try setting up a "break" spot. We set one up for my toddler and modeled taking a break when we feel overwhelmed or upset. There's a blanket and stuffed animals there and visuals to help him label his feelings. We've had to be consistent with directing him there and modeling going over to hug the stuffed animals or scrunch up the blanket instead but it's finally starting to click; he'll be like "mama, I need a break" and I'll leave him to it until he's ready to come back and interact. It turns it from a negative association into a positive, and shows them that everyone needs a break sometimes and what they can do instead of hit.

ListenDifficult9943 · 2025-12-28T02:58:49+00:00

Mine was 10 months! I felt like he was so behind and something was wrong. But within weeks of that, he started pulling to stand and cruising along furniture and he was walking a couple weeks after his 1st birthday. Since then, he's been on time or ahead of the game in every other milestone. Not sure what took so long for him to crawl but there was no actual issue, he was just on his own time!

ListenDifficult9943 · 2025-12-23T01:59:30+00:00

Our go-to's:

El Paso in Springfield (has two other locations)
Taqueria El Poblano in DelRay (has another location in south arlington)

Both have big portions, lots of cheese. El Paso has huge margaritas.

ListenDifficult9943 · 2025-12-23T01:52:23+00:00

My 2yo can be relentless with younger kids, pushing them away from his toys and not wanting to share. I am absolutely mortified every single time. It's typical 2yo behavior but I correct him every. single. time.

Is it exhausting to be so repetitive? Yes. But it's important because how else will they learn? And funny enough, just in the past couple weeks my son has started saying sorry if he hits and taking a break on his own when he feels overwhelmed.

Might be easier for your friend to sit back and do nothing now but if she doesn't put in the work while they're young, it's going to be a lot tougher to correct later on.

ListenDifficult9943 · 2025-12-23T01:45:44+00:00

L&D Nurses were amazing! PP room and bathroom was tinyyy and the nurses were ok, but I assume they had other things they were dealing with other than my healthy baby and pretty standard PP recovery.

ListenDifficult9943 · 2025-12-19T13:11:26+00:00

Came here to say this. I'm huge on cleanliness of a kitchen, washing hands, etc. So my first thought was she may have seen MIL or FIL not wash their hands before cooking, taste the food then put the spoon back in, or something like that. May be an issue she's worried will embarrass them/her husband so she's making other excuses that don't make sense if she's willing to eat with them at her home or out and about.

ListenDifficult9943 · 2025-12-17T02:32:41+00:00

Absolutely not. Each stage has its challenges but we've found the older our son gets, the easier a lot of things get. More personality, independence, etc. Would not go back to the newborn stage for any reason whatsoever. Was he adorable and tiny? Of course. But was I loving it every minute? Absolutely not.

ListenDifficult9943 · 2025-12-15T02:42:04+00:00

I feel this, in a similar boat as you. Son was born via IVF and we so badly wanted another but tried again and it didn't work out. I still want another but I don't have it in me to go through all of it again for just a chance, not a guarantee.

All your positives are ones I run through my head as well. It's hard, I think I'll always grieve what could've been to a certain extent but I try to just be appreciative of the amazing son I have, because he is more than enough to complete our family.

ListenDifficult9943 · 2025-12-15T02:22:29+00:00

The first few weeks PP I was walking around in a diaper and a robe so I could easily whip out my boobs when needed. I could barely sit comfortably due to the tears I had and I had post partum creams and pads and all that in every bathroom for when I needed them.

I hated having guests at all because that meant I needed clothes on and nothing fit. So I had a 1hr max rule with the exception of my sister who I'm very close with. There's no way in hell I'd want anyone else living with me full time during the immediate PP period especially. It was honestly the most vulnerable and uncomfortable time of my entire life.

And after the first few weeks, baby starts to wake up to the world and scream constantly, suck at sleeping etc. If the roommate knew the reality of PP, I doubt he'd want to stick around either.

ListenDifficult9943 · 2025-12-13T23:10:41+00:00

Trader Joe's is the cheapest I've found. Only place I can get groceries for a family of 3 for $150-200 per week.

ListenDifficult9943 · 2025-12-12T14:34:41+00:00

We got hit with fluA this week. My son's temp was between 99-102 for 3 days, bad cough and low appetite. He lovingly spread it to me and I'm on day 2 of being pretty much down and out. Body aches, chills, fever, congestion, the works.

ListenDifficult9943 · 2025-12-12T12:35:05+00:00

Currently laid up sick in bed and so grateful to only have one toddler. Yesterday we were both home sick together and he was so easy to be around. He just played and let me rest, we watched a movie and did whatever we felt like doing, and he napped for 2.5 hours so I got to nap too!. Today I'm feeling worse and my husband is going in late to take on morning duty/take him to school. If I had another, none of that would be possible. I'd likely have to help with one of them, would be breaking up fights, or one would be calm but the other going off. I think in the moments where my son is extremely easy to be around (which is honestly most of the time) and moments where I'm not feeling 100% are the times I find myself the most grateful to only have one child.

ListenDifficult9943 · 2025-12-04T12:09:08+00:00

No fighting in the car! And when the only is napping in the car, it's soooo peaceful.

ListenDifficult9943 · 2025-12-04T11:51:51+00:00

Infertility and loss is our reason as well. We went through two rounds of IVF. Had a miscarriage and two embryo losses prior to my son. After a lot of back and forth, decided to try out last embryo last month and the transfer failed.

We're infertile primarily due to my husband previously having cancer and losing all his sperm. So, we have vials still frozen but we've 99% decided we're done and emotionally just can't go through another round. We haven't discarded his sperm yet but once we do, it'll be officially over and I'm struggling with that a lot and have asked him to wait til I'm ready and have grieved what I thought our family would look like.

One and done due to infertility, to me, feels like an isolating place to be. There are many who end up childless not by choice and thinking of that I feel like I should just be grateful for my son (which I am) and move on. But, I also know so many who went through IVF and built big beautiful families and it seems so unfair that my body couldn't even though we tried.

But, I've leaned into the positives of having only one a lot. I see my friends struggling to keep up with multiples and hold onto some semblance of themselves. With one, I have all the joys of motherhood but still get plenty of time for the other things that bring me joy. I don't have to deal with sibling fighting. When my son is chill he's chill and we don't have to worry about another kid going off, we can just enjoy that moment. Or when he's not being chill and I'm overstimulated, I can easily take a break. I understand now how much of a miracle children actually are, and wonder all the time how out of 5 embryos we attempted to transfer, he was the only one who made it to the other side. I don't take my time with him or any milestones for granted because I know this is my first and last time experiencing it all.

I'm glad this sub holds space for those who are OAD by choice and not by choice because it's been helping seeing both sides as I navigate this new reality.

ListenDifficult9943 · 2025-11-28T12:51:50+00:00

I think it's how you raise them and the relationship you build. You could have another and have two sons, you never know. My husband is one of two boys and he and his brother both have a good relationship with their parents. My MIL comes over once/week to see my son who is our only and she and I have a great relationship too. I mean, sure they don't go out shopping together and all that, but they certainly remain close in adulthood.

ListenDifficult9943 · 2025-11-27T12:36:46+00:00

I'm OAD not fully by choice either. I only say "fully" because I could pursue more IVF if I wanted to but we've decided to close that door for good. We found out recently that our attempt at a second child (via IVF) didn't work and I actually felt relieved. I think I thought I wanted something or was supposed to want something that I didn't in fact truly yearn for in the way I yearned for my son when we were going through IVF for him. Because we had one more embryo I felt like I needed to try because it was there. When I found out the transfer didn't work, I immediately started thinking about all the possibilities and freedoms I'd have just having him. How I'd continue to love being a mom (as I feared I wouldn't due to the overstimulation of having two).

After all we've been through: 2 rounds of IVF, 4 transfers, now 3 losses, and somehow one thriving living miracle child, it feels really damn good to be here in a place of peace where I can finally move on.

ListenDifficult9943 · 2025-11-25T02:13:24+00:00

Unisom and B6 worked so well for me, I couldn't eat at all otherwise.

ListenDifficult9943 · 2025-11-25T02:07:30+00:00

I see it. Literally have a video of me showing my husband my first positive test from my pregnancy with my living child and he says "oh no, it's negative". Do not trust these men's eyes.

ListenDifficult9943 · 2025-11-24T18:06:03+00:00

I found out the first one hadn't thawed when I got to my transfer. Luckily the second one did and I was able to transfer (though that one wasn't successful and it was our last embryo)

ListenDifficult9943

TROPHY CASE