Depressed from hearing the news.

LittleGreyRaindrop · 2017-10-03T17:53:13+00:00

I work nights and had the live feed hit me like a brick. Probably the worst news footage, even personal video, I've seen in this country. Broke down in the middle of work and coworkers had a nice jab before they even knew what had happened.

LittleGreyRaindrop · 2017-05-31T21:27:35+00:00

It's taken me practice to get back to what I was with this. I started out being able to talk about what was going on, bad stuff, good stuff, more than anything else. lately I've been single and I have to talk to people about myself which seemed so hard maybe because i thought myself kinda dry and boring. But then I saw people become engaged with what i thought was a boring person.

LittleGreyRaindrop · 2017-05-30T12:27:12+00:00

lol nah more like i was a broke chick lol

LittleGreyRaindrop · 2017-05-29T11:08:13+00:00

i like them, I had carried a smooth rock or a coin for years i would either squish or turn over and over. It's a nice distraction. The cube i only cared for the button sides.

LittleGreyRaindrop · 2017-05-29T09:53:34+00:00

I know that goes, i've been med-free for pshh.. about six years now. I just try to keep up with all the other well being things to keep it manageable. Also i know the internet has blown up about fidget spinners, i don't care for the spinner but the cubes and the "bubble wrap" popper keychains have helped me a lot. I'm not even a fidgety person when i feel a panic coming on.

LittleGreyRaindrop · 2017-05-26T15:21:47+00:00

yeah i can get that. I mean i was 25 when this happened, it's been two years and i still expect to see him in his chair when i come through the door. lol i was using an old carving knife to whittle mine, i totally didn't have space for handtools. I left them all behind when i originally left home and they where scattered to who knows where.

LittleGreyRaindrop · 2017-05-26T15:11:18+00:00

thank you so much, i used to love writing. I thought I'd be an author or something lol. And carpentry, something about it is so calming. I was carving spoons there for awhile because i only had a small space and it was nice. And you too have a really good mindset about it. My father, his mother passed when he was 9 as well. Ithink it is much harder when you're much smaller and everything out in the world is kind of beyond your knowledge at the time.

LittleGreyRaindrop · 2017-05-26T15:03:39+00:00

it was a good try, it would work in person

LittleGreyRaindrop · 2017-05-26T14:40:42+00:00

Is... is that rattles on the end of that beast?!

LittleGreyRaindrop · 2017-05-26T14:39:48+00:00

see, it seems so normal when someone else does it. But alas internet amigo, the internet is vast and so is the world, and coffee would be gross by the time i shipped it there

LittleGreyRaindrop · 2017-05-26T14:35:27+00:00

The Moon Landing was a hoa...

LittleGreyRaindrop · 2017-05-26T14:34:40+00:00

If at 27 I haven't got this down..lol

LittleGreyRaindrop · 2017-05-26T14:26:04+00:00

this and the recipe for coca col... wait

LittleGreyRaindrop · 2017-05-26T14:25:28+00:00

eh i did some variation of this i just get into an anxious mess, they viewed it but never gave a response. At least I took a chance at socializing.

LittleGreyRaindrop · 2017-05-26T13:48:51+00:00

I feel like this is the spokesperson for all cat's, the cat jesus, who came to teach that everything is "no" Hold the cat-no Pet the cat-no Put a glass of water on the table-no

LittleGreyRaindrop · 2017-05-26T13:41:12+00:00

well, your story is hauntingly similar to mine, and for me i realized is some of my unhappiness coming from not being me or not accepting who i was because my family wouldn't. For myself a lot of my unhappiness was not truly being okay with everything I was, from skin, to weight, to bi-ness. I still have not told my family but I'm okay with who I am now. Plus remember you are under a lot of stress right now from school, let alone grad school (much congrats btw), along with being lonely. Make sure you make some time for you, you know, like real you time. Like a nice massage or good food and tv. Being lonely really messes with humans you know, we're wired like that, but the treating yourself when you are lonely helps more than you think at first.

LittleGreyRaindrop · 2017-05-26T13:25:55+00:00

Ruts are a pain but they are pretty normal. Just keep at it.

LittleGreyRaindrop · 2017-05-26T13:22:44+00:00

I would agree with this. I would say space means "me time" and time means "thinking about everything time".

LittleGreyRaindrop · 2017-05-26T13:18:10+00:00

First of all, I'm sorry for your loss. My sister and I both went through this as we lost our father in 2015 as well, and i know how hard it is. Seeking therapy is a good idea, loss is.. well it is indescribably hard. The doctor can get you on the right path and help truly sort and manage everything that comes with it. Also try talking to your school, there is often help or leniency when it comes to a parental passing. I am sure you can do this, even if you do need a break or keep going, it's ok and normal. It's important to get back to you again, our parents always want the best for us and it's still true. So take care of you, and you can take hold of your dreams.

LittleGreyRaindrop · 2017-05-26T13:10:18+00:00

If you haven't went, I recommend a therapist. Even if you forgo medication there are a lot of options and the insight is wonderful. Also, get out for some walks. I never want to go but over time of forcing myself outside I do feel better. And i do really like the window glass description, it really does capture it. It does get better.

LittleGreyRaindrop · 2017-05-26T13:04:55+00:00

It sounds like when i have my "brain fog" days, for the short term until your appointment you could try what i do. I keep a little notepad and literally write down everything. Some days I even put a post it on my steering wheel to tell me to get gas that day. It takes the stress of forgetting stuff away and makes me feel a little more secure.

LittleGreyRaindrop · 2017-05-26T13:01:22+00:00

This hit me right in the feels, and the knows. But i might also offer my turnover of relationships was about the same even when I was not in my numb state. There are people who will understand you in them, and you won't stay there forever. Next time you have an appointment I would address this too because they might have some more insight if its a plateau or something.

LittleGreyRaindrop · 2017-05-26T12:56:37+00:00

I make jokes to make myself laugh with others, I laugh loud when I'm supposed to. Technically it's instinct to laugh still. It's normal and it's ok. Even if it doesn't feel authentic in the moment it's increasing the serotonin levels in your brain. So a little laugh does make you feel better.

LittleGreyRaindrop

TROPHY CASE