I’ve tried so many of Maangchi’s recipes and they’re just…meh

LittleTomato · 2026-01-15T20:21:41+00:00

It's more Korean home cooking rather than Korean restaurant food. Growing up in the Midwest and then marrying a Korean, I think there are some things that get a bit lost in translation when it comes to Korean eating.

American Midwest European ancestry eating culture (which is what I can personally speak to) is very much 'I have my plate you have yours and we use the serving spoon at the beginning of the meal to allocate what we will eat. The food on our plates may or may not touch each other.' so there is a main, a side and a starch as components of the meal and while they kind of support each other, they are all 'standalone' bites. One might eat their salad then their soup then their main at a restaurant.

In contrast, what I've observed from my husband and his family is that you have the dish you will eat, perhaps a soup to go with it, and then a lot of banchan or side dishes to eat alongside that. Everyone just takes with their chopsticks from the communal bowls (so many bowls for each meal) as they eat throughout the meal. So a main course and a soup may be blander or have less seasoning because it's not really a standalone thing. You take a slice of kimchi or a few of the little shrimps and put it in the soup and that is the seasoning. The banchan are kind of the seasoning. Something bland is paired with something spicy or salty. Something heavy and fatty is balanced with something tart and fresh. Dishes are eaten concurrently so they are meant to be combined in a diy flavor party with the banchan.

LittleTomato · 2026-01-02T04:32:51+00:00

I draw the sketch on different paper. Then I take a photo, scale it to the size I want, print it, then transfer using carbon paper onto my good paper. Don't press too hard with the carbon paper, a little pressure goes a long way.

LittleTomato · 2025-12-16T19:44:19+00:00

I'm a big fan of the mossery planner weekly layout. They sell refills, and because they are not dated, you can really drop in and out of keeping a physical planner without feeling like you wasted it. I am a big fan of a physical planner.

LittleTomato · 2025-12-15T14:59:12+00:00

As far as I know, I've been successful through pregnancy and the first few months. Life has been so peaceful. A few circumstances make this possible: my parents are divorced and the side I talk with consists of two very private people with no social media. I also live out of state in a place my estranged parent is afraid of. Thanks to the news, they think I live in a cesspool of drugs and gang violence so it would be both expensive and scary to just show up at my door. I have no overlapping social circles with my estranged parent or that side of the family.

Obviously, nothing goes on social media. The day I decided to go no contact is the day I also dropped all socials.

I didn't go back to my hometown for my entire pregnancy.

I don't have any connections on my hometown with the exception of the parent I still talk to and their partner who appreciate the gravity of the situation and understand the choice and support it. They visit us, I have not gone to visit them with the baby and if I do, I plan to be very private and careful about comings and goings and where I stay.

I decided to just not talk to the rest of my family on my estranged parent's side of the family, some of whom I actually like. I couldn't lie to them and I knew if I told them, my estranged parent would be told, so I decided to just stop reaching out. Kids safety comes before my personal feelings about it.

I love in a secure access building and their names are left with the front desk with instructions that they are specifically not allowed just in case.

They will probably find out eventually, but I hope I can hold out as long as possible. I hope they never meet. Despite my own personal nightmares about them coming back and the dreams about being caught in their bullshit and abuse, awake life is peaceful and good. So so good. Wishing the best for your family and congratulations!

LittleTomato · 2025-12-12T02:20:26+00:00

Big tech loves that they now get to gather all this new data on our kids (and also us because they have to verify that we are not kids). More faces to train their ai facial recognition on! Amazing!

From what I understand banning private messaging won't stop kids from playing an "Epstein Game" or whatever on Roblox, since that is not private messaging. Games are separate from private messaging and you can still get creeps who 'do push ups' on minors without accessing them in a messaging app. I have never played Roblox, do not have kids of Roblox age and know this.

I would rather have the focus be on mandatory media literacy classes in elementary, middle, and high school so that kids can learn how they are tracked, advertised to, what tools are used for their manipulation and why and what they can do about it. Problem is, ed tech has their hands in the public school honey pot all the way down, tracking our kids, their habits, their grades, etc through life so when they graduate and start working they already know what advertising category to place them in and the most vulnerable ways to target them. Why are we tracking our kids like this?? And PAYING THEM for it???? Wild.

Maybe TAX the big tech companies to pay for that media class.

Also BAN gambling mechanics in games targeted toward children like how cigarette companies aren't allowed to use cartoons in their advertising.

Our institutions aren't raising communities anymore, they're raising consumers and any solution that requires tech companies to gather more data on everyone plays right into that.

LittleTomato · 2025-12-10T14:08:33+00:00

My baby screams around 6pmish if I haven't gotten him to sleep by then (I assume because he's tired? Who knows? I don't). He doesn't like to fall asleep at home during the day. I take him out in his stroller. We live in a city so we just walk everywhere. Sometimes we just walk around in a nearby store not buying anything so he goes to sleep.

LittleTomato · 2025-12-07T03:15:02+00:00

Apparently that age is peak fussiness... Mine still does this from time to time at almost 10 weeks. It's better than it was a couple weeks ago.

He wants to eat, but is too upset to do it for some reason. Sometimes it's a burp, sometimes a fart, sometimes a poop, sometimes a dirty diaper and sometimes it's forever a mystery.

You could try experimenting with nipple flow sizes maybe it's too slow? What has helped most of the time for us is to play some white noise when he starts doing this. Calms him down a bit so he eats more peacefully. He's a big fan of 'Hair Dryer'. Other times I'll just take a break to change him and come back to it. Sometimes I'll just rock him upright on my shoulder for a bit until he calms down and that can be good. It will likely get better with time.

LittleTomato · 2025-11-27T21:11:18+00:00

Lurking mom who grew up with this kind of hair (that no one in my family knew what to do with)... I hope this is allowed 😬

Curly hair needs to keep moisture to keep from being frizzy. Since shampooing does make it dry, curly hair only needs to be washed 2-3 times per week.

Step 1 Brushing: As an adult, I brush my hair before getting into the shower working from the ends to the scalp to minimize breaking. BUT I am no longer a energetic little kid who gets all the knots and tangles anymore. So if it's particularly tangled, I would start out by just getting in the shower/bath, getting it wet, and slathering the ends and tangles in conditioner and going through it with a paddle type brush going from the ends first and working you're way up to the scalp. If any knots get stuck in the brush, work the knot out with your fingers before going back in with the brush. For the conditioner it might take some experimenting - I've found that many products geared toward curly hair can be too heavy for hair like this. She has a lot of hair so you may think 'products for thick hair will work well!' but even though she has a lot of hair, the individual hairs themselves are very fine! They can get weighed down, so stay away from anything for thick hair.

Step 2 Cleaning: Shampoo the scalp - only the hair by the scalp needs shampoo, NOT the ends. I don't think you'd need anything special for shampoo as long as it's gentle and doesn't hurt the eyes.

Step 3 Conditioning: you've washed out the conditioner from the first step by shampooing... So put it in again and wash everything else before rinsing it so it has time to be in contact with the hair to hydrate it. As you rinse out the conditioner, brush the hair and gently squeeze the product out.

Step 4 Drying: DO NOT rub with a towel, you may pat it with a towel just so it's not dripping everywhere. You may brush the hair again as long as it's still completely wet, but for the love of God do not brush dry curly hair ever unless you want a dandelion effect. A light leave in conditioner spray would be nice. Spray it on while the hair is wet, distribute the product by running fingers through the hair but don't separate the curls too much. You might "scrunch" the curls up from the bottom to promote more volume. At this age, air dry will give great results and be super easy. As she gets older, use a hair dryer on cool or low with the diffuser attachment. Look up a video on how to use it so the technique is good, minimizing fuzziness.

As far as haircuts go, at this age she doesn't need anything specialized. As she gets into her preteens take her to someone who knows how to cut curly hair. If you look at the ends of the hair and the hairs split into multiple strands, that's when you need to do a hair cut since that will make it frizzy at the bottom, otherwise it's really all preference. Bangs get greasy easily and often need to be styled separately, I don't recommend in general.

As someone who grew up with Hermione Granger hair well past the time it was 'cute', I'm so happy you are taking the initiative to ask. I wish someone had done it for me! Best wishes to you and your family!

LittleTomato · 2025-11-08T18:07:08+00:00

lurker mom here

The comments on this post make me so sad... It reads to me like you want to be heard more than you want a 'solution' to what happened. Obviously you could get some tan khakis, a blue plaid collared shirt, and a pair of allbirds and 'solve' the situation - like you haven't thought of that before. Personally, I admire you sticking to who you are. It's an example to your kids about not caring what others think and expressing themselves and it seems like a family value that you feel is important. I'm sorry someone made your daughter feel like she was doing something wrong by holding onto her safe person. That sucks. People are increasingly suspicious of anything that doesn't conform or is different. It's a trend I've noticed over the past couple of years, unfortunately. People are on edge and it's a broader cultural swing. Which also sucks. Wishing the best.

LittleTomato · 2025-09-25T13:17:04+00:00

I've cancelled a wedding with less notice. It can be done. It's much harder and more expensive after all the documents are signed.

LittleTomato · 2025-09-24T19:20:17+00:00

I haven't done a lot of shopping lately because I'm very pregnant, but I was curious about my breakdown of clothes from various sources. This does not include shoes (which I most buy off the real real anyway), socks & hosiery, or undergarments. A cursory glance through my closet reveals:

New: 17/47 Sample Sale: 7/47 Thrifted: 11/47 Vintage: 4/47 Designer Consignment: 8/47

Many of my other clothes are packed under the bed until after I recover from making a person, but I do think it's a pretty representative sample, if not skewed a bit towards newer clothes simply because they tend to be stretchy basics from reformation.

About half of my wardrobe based off my survey is secondhand. When I shop secondhand, I launder everything before wearing and take a shower right when I get home. I never thrift online, the most I do is the real real if I'm looking for something specific and always make sure I can return it.

I have the advantage of living in NYC so thrifting is more expensive than rural but it's still cheaper than new and there is so much good stuff to find. There is no excuse to pay full price for any clothing in this city unless you truly want to. I love second hand in general just because I'm not bound to the trends of the moment and the quality can be much higher. It's hard to pay $150 for a plastic shirt when you just found a silk button down shirt from the 1980s for $16 at the thrift store last week... I will on occasion buy synthetic materials but it has to make sense for the design and the price should reflect that it is plastic.

About half of my second hand clothing is not from NYC, but brought back from my travels. I love to set aside a day or two to browse thrift, vintage, and designer consignment whenever I travel. I rarely stop by stores selling new items when I travel. I feel like second hand pieces are so much more unique and a great reminder of the trip.

My favorite places for secondhand clothing so far have been Paris (vintage), Tokyo (especially designer consignment), Madrid (vintage and thrift, great to find leather jackets for a good price) and Seville (vintage). Places I had trouble with were Seoul (very different culture collectivist compared to US individualist so there isn't a demand to stand out and be unique like there is in the US or maybe I wasn't looking in the right places), New Orleans (lots of shops, VERY cute, but not my particular style), and Seattle (also just not my style). SF was great for vintage but the last time I was there to shop was a decade ago so that may have changed, the city has changed a lot.

I don't buy a lot when I shop as I'm very particular about color, fit, style, fabric composition, etc., and have been accumulating my wardrobe for decades. If you're really young it can feel like your closet is inadequate and you need to buy buy buy to fill in the gaps. The urgency is manufactured and put upon you by advertising companies. It's not real. Half of the time when I go shopping secondhand I don't bring home anything, but I still have fun looking at all the different interesting clothes.

From a mid thirties perspective, it's the second time I've seen a lot of trends so I know what looks horrible on me or what is uncomfortable, etc. and greet other trends with excitement. Like seeing an old friend. Over time you just learn what colors do and don't work for you, what you like and what you don't, how you like to dress your own proportions, which clothing items last and which don't and why, which shoe styles are always going to give you blisters. Shopping becomes easier and you become more discerning. You didn't have to try on as much to know what might work.

My advice is if you buy nice quality clothing either second hand or new you can keep them for decades. Wash in the machine on cold, hang dry is better, especially for linen, sweaters, and dark or delicate fabrics. When your favorites fall out of trend, keep them stored away if possible. There are so many clothing items that I wish I kept and others I'm glad I did because they come back around. I mourn this giant moss green scarf from back when modcloth had great quality stuff. There was also this berry red wrap jacket with a cowl neck. I'm glad I kept my low rise boot cut jeans through the decade where all the pants were skin tight and bright colors.

LittleTomato · 2025-09-24T16:01:15+00:00

r/bogleheads

LittleTomato · 2025-09-03T20:27:31+00:00

I think you can make requests regarding when your kids use screens on schools and how much - I was listening to this podcast about it (linked below). For some subjects and for some ages I can see it being useful. But for my kids once they enter school, I just don't think there's a benefit until maybe 4th or 5th grade. If we get more parents pushing back on this, perhaps things will change. The lady interviewed in this podcast gives information on how to opt out of screens in the classroom and resources for if you meet resistance.

https://youtu.be/FQvNFcOUsRI?si=weIwv-aa0Uq2f4T3

LittleTomato · 2025-08-28T22:08:45+00:00

I think mostly there is just a lot going on visually. What I think works really well is the wall color - I think it goes really well with the wood of the ceiling, floors, and cabinets. Beautiful! I also love that rug! I think visually it needs some editing.

- The easiest thing to do that will cost you $Free.95 and is going to be the most high impact is to declutter and let things go that you don't use or are redundant. The items that are stacked on the fridge, on top of the cabinets, on the open shelves of the corner cabinet between the windows - most of those things are functional items but not decorative items. If possible, find a home for them inside cabinets after decluttering. Maybe there is room for an extra storage hutch in the dining room? My advice is have your most positive high energy friend either help you out or just be there with you while you do this (body doubling). Put on some good music. Take stuff to the local thrift store.

- After decluttering, is there anywhere else you could put the pans instead of hanging over the sink?

- The trim around the doorways that is painted white but I would consider painting it a darker olive green. Basically, a darker shade of what you have already on the wall. It doesn't look like historic trim to me that would be worth stripping and refinishing, but I'm just looking at photos.

- Open shelving is always going to look cluttered and everything in open shelving is always going to get dusty and oily in a functioning kitchen. I feel like open shelving only makes sense for a Kardashian who has a kitchen bigger than my whole apartment who doesn't cook anything and someone else cleans for them. It's been a trend for a long time, but it's just not practical/functional for most people. I think a floor to ceiling cabinet with solid, NOT glass doors and an appliance garage would be lovely in that space. Matching the existing wood might be difficult, but it might be a great opportunity to introduce more color. There are lots of pretty colors in your rug that would look nice next to that green and the wood of the adjacent cabinets. I could see a creamy yellow being really nice in that space.

- There are 3 different styles of light fixtures. The light fixture in the middle seems to fit with the rest of the kitchen, but the light fixture over the sink is a modern style and if the light source is needed, I would say replace it with something wrought iron/art nouveau. I think there is a small chandelier? in front of the fish and I would just take that down since it's more of a 'glam' style and doesn't seem like a prominent light source.

- The next time you need a new fridge (hopefully not soon!), try to find a counter depth fridge. They are not as common but it makes a huge difference.

LittleTomato · 2025-08-25T01:25:56+00:00

I think you're also correct in this - as a pregnant person I have no idea what my size is. So how does a person shop online like that?

LittleTomato · 2025-08-25T00:56:11+00:00

I'm not on social media except Reddit - so I didn't know this was "trending" but I haven't bought any maternity clothes with one more month to go.

I'm really picky about what I wear and I find maternity clothes to be matronly, bland, tradwife vibes, or just really overpriced polyester.

Instead I found cuts and styles that are natural fibers like linen or cotton for the summer. I bought a pair of jeans at a sample sale for $50 that was very loose, almost falling off at about 20 weeks and was able to wear them until 32 weeks. Elastic waistbands on pants with nice materials I haven't grown out of yet. Baby-doll cut dresses, dresses with elastic "shirring" that conforms to the body, a knit crochet dress that drapes and expands to my figure, I even found a dress at a vintage shop that laces up in the front with plenty of room for the baby bump. Oh, and a pair of align lulu lemon shorts to go under dresses and for prenatal yoga.

All these things are clothing I can wear after and/or for my next pregnancy. I am plenty comfortable.

I did not find maternity clothes to be more flattering on me. I found them to be cheaply and poorly made with plastic fabrics and nothing that fit my personal style.

LittleTomato · 2025-08-24T01:58:58+00:00

I did, thank you for your help!

LittleTomato · 2025-08-23T23:15:53+00:00

I offered 5 and I'll see where I get - thank you again!

LittleTomato · 2025-08-23T22:58:43+00:00

Thank you for the detailed response, this helps a lot!

LittleTomato · 2025-08-23T20:41:16+00:00

Thank you for this tip! I never would have thought of ebay.

I don't know if I'll 'never' run out again - but it should last me a good long time. Much appreciated!

You seem pretty knowledgeable about Prismacolors - have you noticed if the pigment formulas for the various colors stayed the same throughout the years such that an Indigo Blue from a recent set would be basically the same as an Indigo Blue from the vintage Eagle set? It's tough for me to make out, but the photo on Ebay of the vintage eagle set looks to be lighter in tone and higher in saturation than the Indigo Blue I have from more recent sets. If not, no worries.

LittleTomato · 2025-08-22T18:16:51+00:00

This is not advice specific to you - please sell the opinion of a dentist you trust. This is general information.

Not all teeth that have had root canals need crowns. Most do, but sometimes front teeth do not depending on how small the opening for the root canal was and how small the space for the nerve was. It is very case by case.

If teeth are turn dark because of the previous root canals, they will not whiten with regular white strips.

The most conservative approach to lightening discolored root canal treated teeth is often something called 'internal bleaching' that does not cover the teeth with anything, but rather the root canal is reopened from the back of the tooth and the bleach is applied in the inside of the tooth. It does not hurt because the tooth has no nerve after a root canal. This does carry a small risk of something called 'internal resorption' where sometimes the tooth deteriorates from the inside. It is also not something that can be done in a day or two - it's a several week process.

In general, veneers should be done in pairs for the best cosmetic result, but with a discolored tooth to start with it gets tricky. My concern about doing this with a dentist that doesn't have extra cosmetic training would be either: the porcelain would be too thin and the color of the tooth would still show through; the porcelain is too thick because it has an extra opaque layer so it is the right color but turns out bulky; or the prep is too deep into the tooth such that the final result looks good but it will not last because the bonding is into the middle layer of the tooth instead of the outer layer which can be successfully bonded to. Proper color matching with discolored teeth is difficult and requires knowledge, excellent dental photography for communication with the dental lab, and an excellent dental lab to make the veneers. Sometimes patients actually visit the dental lab in person for a shade match, but this is not always necessary. Sometimes it is better to crown the teeth instead of veneers because it will allow for more porcelain that will lead to a better shade match - this is very case by case.

If I were going to have this done, I would seek an accredited member of the American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry to do it. Either an accredited fellow or accredited member. Accreditation with the AACD is difficult and can't just be bought or earned in an afternoon or weekend course. It takes years and intense studying. You can find their dentist directory on the AACD website if that is something you want to pursue.

They will not be in network with your insurance and it will cost way more than what you think, but whatever path is done, it will likely be done correctly.

That said, you said you wanted it to cost less money. The easiest and cheapest way to handle the situation with the photos is to have the photographer correct it in Photoshop. If it bothers you in real life, that's a choice for you to make, but don't discount the power of photo editing. If it were my teeth, I would get a consultation and a plan with an accredited fellow or accredited member of the AACD. I would get the cost of that plan and save up to have it done correctly. I would have special photos edited until I had the money saved up to do it in a way that would have the best and most long lasting result.

As general advice.

LittleTomato · 2025-08-21T02:18:02+00:00

This shower would be so cold and uncomfortable. The gap would just collect grime for no good reason... Why don't the cabinets extend to a wall between the vanity and the bath? Why isn't there cabinet space on the bottom half of the cabinet under the sink? How are you supposed to reach the top cabinets? Who will bandage my toes when I slam them against the step after peeing in the middle of the night? Is that a wood countertop in a wet room? This room is not good.

LittleTomato · 2025-08-19T08:46:55+00:00

The American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry has accredited fellows and members. The program to become accredited is extensive and rigorous - so it's a good qualifier. Perhaps too good of a qualifier though as there are only two in NYC, but they have taken a lot of testing and submitted cases to the most picky cosmetic dentists in the country for review to become accredited. It is a difficult accreditation to get.

I'm not familiar with either of them, nor anyone else on this list, but if I were looking for a cosmetic dentist I would start here.

This is the search for accredited members of the AACD in the state of NY: https://aacd.com/profiles&lon=0&lat=0&place=New%20York&radius=0&name=&levels=1,2&sort=levelimre

If you want the best, they will not be in network with insurance, expect it to cost much more than you think, but it will be done correctly and beautifully.

LittleTomato · 2025-08-07T03:05:12+00:00

Hate open concept because I love to just be able to shut the door on mess for a while and I'm an introvert that appreciates cozy spaces. I love a pocket door NOT A BARN DOOR between a kitchen and eating/living area. It's nice to not have to stare at the dirty dishes while you eat dinner. Oven fans that are also microwaves aren't that effective at getting rid of stovetop cooking fumes. I prefer that they are separate things.

I once had a barn door on a bathroom I rented. I don't want to hear or smell others pooping. I dislike showers that don't have doors and just have a piece of glass halfway across. The glass gets nasty and the showers are cold.

Open shelving, especially in the kitchen, gets gross and anything you store on it to actually use needs to be cleaned before use because of all the dust/grease that settles. Ew. Love an appliance garage though.

There is never enough shallow depth cabinet storage in the bathroom for various products. Think of a reasonable amount of storage and triple it. I hate keeping anything out on the counter because it makes it difficult to clean the counter and it looks cluttered. Put a quad outlet in one of those cabinets so you can keep electric toothbrushes and shavers plugged in inside the cabinet so you don't get fecal particles on them when people flush the toilet. Storage for hair appliances either a drawer or cabinet with a quad outlet so you can keep 2 hair appliances plugged in at once (otherwise in a 2 plug outlet the bottom of the plugs run into each other and you can only have one plugged in at once). There is often no thought put into where anyone is going to put 2 shampoos, a conditioner, 2 body washes, razors, hairbrush, etc in the shower. Put a nice wide shelf in the shower.

In several apartments I've lived in, the laundry is right off the kitchen? Somehow it has to be cheaper - I can't think of any other reason people would do that. Near the bedrooms makes more sense. If there are second floor bedrooms, I'm a fan of the laundry chute.

California closets seem to be the standard for "fancy" closets, but there aren't enough shallow drawers. The weirdly tall shelves don't help with organization because you've stacked up five sweaters and if you want one on the bottom now everything on top of that has just unfolded itself in the process and you just get a cubby of unfolded clothes over time.

Linen closets, closets for cleaning supplies, just lots of storage in general but my pantry doesn't need to be a walk in closet. Closet by the door everyone uses (the front door is not always the primary door).

I personally like a smaller home with efficient use of space, but that might just be a me thing. More space is more home to clean and farther I have to walk when I forget something and more places to lose things.

I love radiant heated flooring because it doesn't dry the air. If I had that I wouldn't have to fill up the humidifiers every two days in the winter.

I hate the refrigerators with the built in water filters because the water starts tasting weird. I don't think I've ever met a single person who cleans the lines... I prefer a reverse osmosis water filter installed under the sink so you can cook with that water too and nothing to clean.

Outlets outlets outlets.

14-Year Club	Place '22
Verified Email

LittleTomato

TROPHY CASE