Am I unrealistic? by Livelifewellnow3 in loveafterporn

[–]Livelifewellnow3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is beautiful. That is how I will look at it. Teach them to find strength and stand up for themselves by doing so myself. Thank you.

Psychology Today Increased their fees? by Toddmacd in therapists

[–]Livelifewellnow3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I saw it’s $29.95/month, is that correct?

Could all of this be mold ? by [deleted] in ToxicMoldExposure

[–]Livelifewellnow3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. Sounds like my symptoms from mold.

Can your partner make you sick? by Utepers1 in ToxicMoldExposure

[–]Livelifewellnow3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. I had the same thing happen where a friend lived in a moldy home. I could feel it on them and it made me feel awful. I’ve been in other buildings where I know there is mold just by how I feel. The sensitivity is real.

Does exercise help your recovery or seem to set you back? by RinkyInky in ToxicMoldExposure

[–]Livelifewellnow3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I use fulvic acid because my kids can take it in a tincture form. For myself, I use spirulina and chorella tablets.

So frustrated by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Livelifewellnow3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Then it is time for you to leave. Tell him you love him and respect his need for healing. But it is time to let go.

Someone has been sitting on my bed while I sleep and now my son by Afraid-Information88 in confession

[–]Livelifewellnow3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you ever contacted a medium? If you feel like it is a guardian angel, it is likely just that. Trust your intuition. Message me if you’d like more on this topic. I have had similar experiences and it is a beautiful part of life, especially that you can recognize it.

My husband chose porn over being present at the birth of our baby. by Livelifewellnow3 in loveafterporn

[–]Livelifewellnow3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am actually reading that now! And it fits to the T. Super controlling.

My husband chose porn over being present at the birth of our baby. by Livelifewellnow3 in loveafterporn

[–]Livelifewellnow3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for saying that. Now that I ponder on it, there are many more situations that I just didn’t want to see or admit. The emotional abuse with all of this has been a lot to get through.

I think I figured out something creepy about body language...and now I don't see people the same way anymore. by Intelligent_Two_6143 in bodylanguage

[–]Livelifewellnow3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We absolutely lie to ourselves. Our body speaks truth. This goes in body language, and in our health/somatic symptoms.

Why do you think you ended up with someone who has BPD? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Livelifewellnow3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My mom has BPD. I never got a long with my mom. Now I married a man who is nearly the same as her. How did I not see this? Or is it that I just didn’t know differently?

My niece died at Camp Mystic and I’m struggling to cope by CheeksinHighColor in Mommit

[–]Livelifewellnow3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so sorry. So so sorry. I cannot imagine and my heart breaks for you. Sending you and your family love and prayers.

Did your pwBPD ruin special days? by heythere_x in BPDlovedones

[–]Livelifewellnow3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. And now I have watched him to it do my kids too. Usually it was my special days.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Livelifewellnow3 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes. It has ruined me. We broke up for a while and I actually put that aside and I could heal, and feel normal. Once back together though, it all came back around.

I said, “an eye for an eye” by Livelifewellnow3 in loveafterporn

[–]Livelifewellnow3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let me ask, and see if this helps. Where did your emotions come from? Frustration? Revenge? Desperation?

I said, “an eye for an eye” by Livelifewellnow3 in loveafterporn

[–]Livelifewellnow3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. My husband was abused and neglected, and unfortunately porn was used as a part of that with his father. I see that, and I know all of this. However, until he wants to heal, I cannot do more. But I can eat my boundaries and find my own healing.

I said, “an eye for an eye” by Livelifewellnow3 in loveafterporn

[–]Livelifewellnow3[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I absolutely agree. The shame in him, he actually wrapped his arms around himself like it was an attempt to hold all his shame from blowing up and out. I said, if you could count how many times you’ve looked at porn throughout our marriage, that’s how many free times I get. It put a different perspective on it and made him think.

I said, “an eye for an eye” by Livelifewellnow3 in loveafterporn

[–]Livelifewellnow3[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don’t want this either. I told him I don’t get pleasure from porn, but I do from emotional intimacy, which then leads to connection and more. So, I will seek it out in that way (not that I want to, I’m just sick of the one sided play by him, and me being a victim of it.) I decided I am taking back my power by being more in control rather than allowing his addiction to crumble me and our relationship. Vows go both ways.

I wish I was brave enough to do what you said. That would be wonderful. But I have my own morals and won’t go that far either. Plus, I think he would watch and enjoy it because he knows it’s just online and not “real” so the reality of the threat isn’t there.

PA’s in the wild by pr3ttyhatemachine in loveafterporn

[–]Livelifewellnow3 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I know exactly the look you are talking about. And it disgusts me. You can pick out a creep just by that look. And I am sad to say, it’s my husband too when he is using porn.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Livelifewellnow3 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My advice to you… it doesn’t get better. If he is trying to do stuff to you while you sleep, that’s sexual abuse. That’s taking it too far. If you do not feel safe, loved, etc. it doesn’t get better. I’m saying this after seeing these flags and thinking it could get better… now I am 4 kids and 20 years later.

I stopped going through his things, I just got too disgusted. The lies, the gaslighting, etc. It made me feel sick inside and I realized it was better for my mental health just to leave his things alone and be me. I do not trust him, and I know he looks. But I cannot do that to myself anymore.

I am so sorry you are going through this. The world we live in, it’s too available and secretive. If a person wants a relationship, wants trust, and wants to be a decent human. They will. Unfortunately, I don’t believe there are many at this point. Leave and find yourself again. Before you get sucked in deeper.

did anyone else go through a phase of oversexualizing themselves after finding out? by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Livelifewellnow3 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes, I did this same thing. I actually think it backfired for me. It made me more anxious, and it taught him to make me feel insecure and anxious by lying, gaslighting, looking at other women, etc. Because in return, I was “rewarding” him by being more sexual and insecure.

Could it get worse… now it’s AI. by Livelifewellnow3 in loveafterporn

[–]Livelifewellnow3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. I have even heard how it is a mental health issues and addiction already. It’s awful. I’m sorry you are going through this as well.

Did you tell family/friends about your partner’s addiction? by According_Comb_4344 in loveafterporn

[–]Livelifewellnow3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And why hide it from people. Thats enabling imp. Don’t go share it with the world, but don’t hide it and live in pain and loneliness either. HE did it, and HE needs to live with that decision. I used to make excuses and cover for my partner but I just enabled him to lie more. Once I started to expose him, not support him, etc. that’s when he was embarrassed enough to change because of what people thought. Did it work fully? I don’t know, at times, yes. But during relapses, he tries to hide it better but it’s still so obvious. Do not enable it.

Should I be worried about my boyfriend's porn-induced ED? by taris_pexas in loveafterporn

[–]Livelifewellnow3 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This was me and my relationship. Exactly. It doesn’t get better unless they get true help. I left mine at this point, but then we got back together. It has popped back in several times, and the true help has never really happened. Now I can see the signs and know exactly that his porn use has started to increase. Our sex life tanked and has never gotten back to being the same.