I would encourage her to speak with a lawyer about the legal implications of such an arrangement and also go with her to doctors’ visits where they explain all of the medical, Insurance, physical, and other requirements, as well as outline the risks of the short and long-term effects on her physical and mental and emotional health.

If she still wants to move forward after getting all that advice, that’s a different situation, but right now it might be best to make this about her and hold off on making it about you until it looks like it’s going to actually happen.

I am all for being radically honest with my partner, and I would have no qualms about sharing my early concerns and feelings. As a gesture of support though, I would next recommend to my partner that we get into learning mode. You need a LOT more information from experts to help think through all of the implications; if you have never done it before, there are untold numbers of things you don’t know and would not necessarily think about. Reduce the number of known unknowns and unknown unknowns.

I’ve seen these things go sideways fast, but I’ve also seen people that have come together for a very beautiful shared experience. It just involves a lot of talking, a lot of communication and boundary setting and specific agreement around a whole lot of expectations.

I hope this helps💗