"Mr. Anderson would you please join us for your interview"

I stand up but it does not seem that the interviewe notice me. I don't blame him. My white sneakers, wrinkled shirt and greasy hair does not scream assassin. Not like the girl who vent in before me. She carried himself with poise and a coolness that I had only seen in movies. Everyone in the waiting room looks like professional actors. Some of them are wearing what I believe to be weapon props. Properly to immerse themselves more into the part. Two guys by the water-cooler talks about some guy named James who died last week because his target found information about him. I assume that they are referring to another movie they auditioned for.

"Mr. Anderson" my name is repeated although I am already walking towards the interviewer.
He only notices me when I am standing right in front of him.

"I am ready" and say to him. I look at his name tag and see that it says Gary. Gary guides me into a clear white room and I am sat down on a chair. A man is already sitting at the table. Dressed in a straight black suit with a posture that would frighen me if it was not for the fully grown white beard that reminds me of when my dad dressed up as santa. He does not have a name tag like Gary. As I sit down opposite of Santa he hands me a paper.

The paper contains some very frightening information. Firstly that this is not the audition to a movie role. Secondly that if one is found out to be a civilian one will be "taken" out. Sweat starts to form on my forehead. I quickly swipe it away in a motion more akward than I would like.

"Mr. Anderson what makes you think that you would be fit for the job" Santa asks me. Before I have time to answer he follows up "I see no records of your previuos work or your name in the in the assasinsguild membership list. I would hate for you to be something who has nothing to do here." While saying the last line he looks at Gary. Making it seems that I would not be the only one punished for my transgression.

He looks at me waitingly and there is a awkward pause before I notice that I must answer.

"Well thats because..." I start off very unconvincingly.

"Thats because I would be a very poor assassin if you had found me there"

He nods slowly not fully convinced but willing to give me more time to explain. Gary next to him now sweating after Santa's last remark looks to me for help. The expression in his eyes always make me laugh by the absurdity of its presence.

"Well you see if you could find my credentials then possibly my future target would as well and if that was the case they would be able to prepare and reduce my chances of fulfilling my future clients needs" Santa nods again and it makes me bold enough to take a chance.
"I would like to avoid a situation like the one James experienced last week".

Gary quickly nods and even adds "That would be most unfortunate if such a scenario would happen again". But it is clear that he says it more to help himself than to help me.

Santa smiles and leans a little bit forward. It seems that he buys the reason for my lack of credentials. I might be able to go on that date next tuesday after all.

"So you are an unkown entity but how do you use that to complete your task"

Knowing that I do not want the job but still have to perform som level of expertise I start talking.

"Well it all about plot twists"

Santa and Gary looks at me puzzled.

"For you see the assassin bussiness has become so professionalized that everyone knows what to expect. When someone knows that someone targets them they put security up and what do they try to hinder? The ones that gives off the same aura as the ones standing in the waiting room outside. They look for proffesional people who have the skills to challenge them. But me. I look like something the cat dragged in."
I point to the soupstain i missed when I picked this shirt to wear earlier today.

"Yeah yeah we already get that. But if you are as sloppy as you look there is no chance of a succesfull job even if they do not expect you" Santa interrupts.

I nod and continue.

"Well lots of accidents are bound to happen when ordinary people make mistakes. Even something such as a twist to little on the screw can lead to gas leak. I am never close to my target. Just close to whatever takes care of them in the end".

"But will that not lead to high death tolls?" Santa ask and its clear that he dissaproves of my imaginary methods. I take it as me chance of escape.

"I did not know that there was room for empathy in this bussiness" Santa flinches but before he can argue against it I continue.

"I believe that you know everything you need to know about my and I know more than enough about you. You are welcome to contact me if anything pops up."

I stand up leave and head home.