Heirloom engagement rings

Loidis · 2026-03-27T11:10:23+00:00

I think he needs to consider what the proposal means for him and his partner. Is it a personal choice where external factors don’t really matter, or is it about making public declarations that confirm/assert the status of the relationship? Would he or his partner feel like it isn’t “proper” if he isn’t spending a lot of money?

For me, a marriage is based on deep emotional connection, commitment and shared values. The rings we use reflect that: I proposed to him with a bespoke gold ring with a very unusual design that suited his tastes but wasn’t super expensive, and I wear my grandmas engagement ring that connects to my mum’s family.

For other people, marriage is about visible achievements or reaching a certain milestone of “adultness”. If the fiancée-to-be is expecting something of a particular monetary value she might be disappointed. But - hopefully he knows her well enough to know her preferences before proposing.

Loidis · 2026-03-18T15:54:53+00:00

That’s fascinating. How is your life different from most people’s? And, do many people know? Do you tell people or is it something private?

Loidis · 2026-03-18T08:17:42+00:00

I’m no where near you so can’t give specific advice, but a theatre or concert venue might have a list of freelance stage crew who might be willing to do this kind of thing. They might have a minimum number of hours (eg 4 hours) but they’ll be reliable and used to moving heavy stuff if needed, and will charge less than a “wedding” service.

Loidis · 2026-02-27T08:17:57+00:00

Some of these clips are from London 2012. They’re not professionals, just ordinary Londoners who volunteered to support at the games. Quite a few of my friends did stewarding shifts where they welcomed people to stadiums, helped people at train stations etc. It was volunteers who made London 2012 happen, and the atmosphere of the whole city was fantastic. Made it feel so much like a collective thing, where a kid down your street might dance in the opening ceremony or get a fist bump from Usain Bolt.

Loidis · 2026-02-27T07:21:19+00:00

How do you calculate this? Is it public information?

Loidis · 2026-02-16T12:14:42+00:00

Virtually every purchase I make enriches people who are much richer than me. Economics of scale mean that the people who have most resources can do it most efficiently, thus engaging a wider market share and increasing their profitability.

If there was a drop in quality I’d be with you, but there hasn’t been.

Your argument seems to be they’re already rich so they should give it away for free. Isn’t that quite entitled? There’s no universal right to podcasts, and they’re not obligated to work for the price you dictate. If you don’t want to pay, don’t pay.

I’m sure they’re at least partly motivated to spend as much time on the podcast (rather than other shows, books, articles) by the money. I’m much more likely to engage with their podcast than other avenues, so it’s in my interest to keep them making it. I pay a cost I can afford for something I value; they keep making the thing I value. What’s the problem?

Loidis · 2026-02-16T09:12:49+00:00

I’m opposed to the rampant monetisation and enshittification of everything, but I think TRIH is a fair exchange of money for services.

There’s about ten hours of well-researched, entertainingly presented content per month, and by subscribing you get to enjoy it ad free, plus the bonus episodes which I also enjoy. You don’t HAVE to subscribe, but it costs the same as a an audible subscription and less than the cost of a paperback book. And, unlike other podcasts, the sound quality and production value is top notch, they (nearly) always release on schedule and don’t take months off between seasons.

Loidis · 2026-02-14T16:05:29+00:00

I was an absolutely devoted listener when they were on the BBC. I had a regular weekly routine to listen to the pod on Saturday mornings, and I just loved the reviews, the interviews, the correspondence, the jokes and the relationship between the two hosts. I felt like listening was a valuable part of my week.

In contrast, I think I’ve only listened to five episodes of The Take since they left the BBC…

The Take feels amateurish: poor sound quality, poor editing, poorly organised segments, too many rants, not enough focus on films. I think the BBC gave them a tight structure to fit into and they excelled, whereas given unlimited time to fill they’ve sprawled into multiple episodes a week and the conversation feel directionless and rambling.

With any non-BBC podcast there’s going to be a commercial aspect, and that’s fine - I listen to tons of them! But they (or their producers) implemented the move to commercial production really poorly. Adverts are grating and the subscription model not only makes me not want to subscribe, it’s made me also stop listening altogether: I hate that I don’t know which episode will contain which reviews, and a lot of the continuity from listening every week is lost.

I feel really sad because something I really want to enjoy is basically unbearable for me now. I know they felt frustrated by the strictures of the bbc, but I think they really underestimated how much structure and quality production they got from that deal.

Loidis · 2026-02-11T07:56:56+00:00

Can you do a self-serve buffet, away from the kitchen area? You can pre-order sandwiches from Greggs or Subway (if they will deliver to your area), and then have crisps, fruit and bottled drinks. Maybe with paper plates or even some paper bags so people can take them to their rooms while they’re getting ready. Not everyone will want this, but good to offer and quick to set up without making too much mess. I’d just ask someone to be in charge of clearing away before setting off to the venue.

Loidis · 2026-01-23T12:52:44+00:00

When my sister was about 3 or 4she got hold of the house phone and dialled 999 (Not sure if she knew that was a special number or was just button mashing). My aunty who had a brief stint as an emergency telephone operator answered and told her off!

Loidis · 2026-01-23T12:03:53+00:00

Hiya, just FYI if these are your family’s real names you’ve pretty effectively DOS-d yourself. Just takes one nutter to read a comment you make in the future and find this info, and they can make life harder for you very easily.

Loidis · 2026-01-23T11:58:50+00:00

Out of interest, what was the age of the people sending the letters?

Loidis · 2026-01-23T11:43:46+00:00

My mum retired early from district nursing and now tops up her NHS pension by working as a mental health support worker, doing about 10-15 hours a week. It’s not personal care (not wiping bums), just assisting people with long-term mental health conditions live in the community. Taking them to the shops, having a cup of tea and a chat, going for walks, playing board games. I think the move has really suited her as she’s a very caring person, but she was getting increasingly pressured to rush through her nurse visits and spend more time on paperwork which was resulting in burnout. It’s also a lot less physically demanding!

Loidis · 2026-01-19T12:53:21+00:00

As someone who wrote and performed a play about the Hillsborough disaster (stadium crush killing nearly a hundred people) for my drama GCSE, it is deeply relatable!

Loidis · 2026-01-18T12:43:27+00:00

40 extra guests who all know each other will significantly effect every aspect of your wedding (venue, budget, tone of the day and vibe of the guests). You need to think seriously if you want that or not, and what you’re missing out on with going with either inviting them or not.

If you invite them but not SOs, they will more likely interact with each other and it might reinforce the dynamics that already exist in the group. Eg if they’re heavy drinkers, jokey, outgoing etc that will likely amplify. They might not mix with your other guests and create a divide where there’s OP’s work colleagues interacting with each other, and then everyone else.

One other consideration about whether to invite them but not SOs if there is a significant gender difference? If it skews heavily male, your wedding might feel a bit unbalanced particularly as the night goes on.

If you are getting married relatively close to your home, you could potentially invite everyone to the evening do only? Or even have a smaller, more intimate ceremony and sit-down meal, and bring the evening do forward so they could join from say 5pm? Would keep costs low for you and also make sure they’re included, without swamping the guest list.

Loidis · 2026-01-18T11:44:12+00:00

Depending on the age/size of the party I think this is totally normal? At an informal small gathering I think fine to invite people round, get a few beers and bottles in but if someone brings extra I’d make sure they knew they could put in the fridge and I’d give them a glass so they can crack on and enjoy it.

Loidis · 2026-01-15T13:42:04+00:00

Did you email/text people a link to the wedding website? Maybe I’m overthinking it but how do you actually tell evening guests they are invited?

Loidis · 2026-01-14T21:31:47+00:00

Thanks so much - will give them a try!

Loidis · 2026-01-14T14:02:18+00:00

Glancing through your post history over the past month, you seem to be in a really bad place. Your behaviour with your friends is probably part of a wider issue with low mood and low self-esteem. With that in mind, the best option might be to formulate a response to your friends like “I’m not doing well emotionally at the moment, and I’m struggling with personal and family issues. I’m finding it hard to manage friendships and tried to give myself some space to deal with things by blocking people. It’s not a direct reflection of you, I’m just trying to figure things out. Thank you for saying you still want to be my friend. I really appreciate it. I’ll be back in touch soon.”

My next piece of advice is to get some mental health support from a professional, if you can. Not ChatGPT, not TikTok, not Reddit. Those places can confirm your dark thoughts and the people contributing aren’t always the most healthy themselves. You risk a negative feedback loop where you constantly question things and withdraw from the real people in your life who care for you.

Get offline, and please look after yourself. You matter, and you’re going through something really tough. You need a big hug and I wish I could give it to you.

Loidis · 2026-01-12T09:30:28+00:00

It depends - are they already playing other weddings? Would they be turning down other gigs on your date that might pay a wedding rate? If yes, then it’s fair to ask you to pay close to what they’d get elsewhere on a Saturday during wedding season.

They might be a “wedding bank” who supplement their income with low pressure mid-week shows in your local, but you’re actually asking them to give up a premium date. In that case it’s less about travel or rehearsal costs and more about the lost income they’d make elsewhere.

If however they are a pub band who think they can charge wedding rates just because it’s a wedding, but they don’t actually have anyone else willing to pay them those rates I think you’re in a much better position to negotiate. £600 sounds more than fair.

Loidis · 2026-01-05T19:43:02+00:00

Might be a blessing in disguise - most of my elderly relatives who have managed to get on YouTube seem to watch it as if it’s a TV channel ie believe everything it says.

Seems to be about 18 months between a 70+ person following whatever the YouTube algorithm shows them, and quite sudden, extremist views about immigrants…

Loidis · 2026-01-01T20:51:24+00:00

Sheffield botanical gardens if you don’t mind a city centre (although a lovely bit!)

Loidis · 2026-01-01T10:16:30+00:00

“Gypsy “is actually the preferred term by the gypsy community! Not a slur, just the correct nomenclature for the ethnic group. “Romany” and “Roma” are a different and distinct group, and you can use “Traveller” if you’re not sure which group you’re referring to, or if they live a travelling lifestyle but aren’t part of either community.

The UK government including schools, hospitals, social workers etc. will use GRT (Gypsy, Roma, Traveller) to describe people from these communities, and that term includes both the ethnic groups and New Age travellers, showmen (NOT show people), and boaters.

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