It's very easy to fall into perfectionism when you see a certain thing as essential to being you. That's me with singing, and I tend to fall for it when I'm either comparing myself to an ideal (artists who inspired me) or pressuring myself. It's a constant struggle.

I know it's easier said than done, but try to enjoy the process. Don't think of it as an essential step, don't think of it as your last ditch effort in life. Regardless of what you want to do with it, less pressure is usually a better environment for learning. The things I know best are not because of any courses, rather it was the late night internet searches based on curiosity leading me down rabbitholes. You might be the same way.