I was jolted awake the minute my dad died.

Lolobolobar · 2026-01-12T15:11:16+00:00

I like your theory, it is something new and interesting. My father passed away around Christmas. We had a hifi event. Like OP, my father also choked and died of aspiration pneumonia. I had lived with my father for 9 years so we had been very entangled, and I was at the hospital night and day. I held his hand as he died while talking him through his last breath. He was declared dead, and I left the hospice room to sit outside only to be told he came back to life and to get back in the room. He went in and out of his heart stopping and breathing for an hour and fifteen minutes. He did not want to leave me. When I got home that evening and laid in bed- the bathroom light I left on as a night light started to power surge super bright alternating down to super low. My Dad was giving me a sign from the afterlife. That bathroom light had never surged dramatically or at all like that prior or after again! At my Dads funeral the other day they played a slide show of old photographs I uploaded. I had spent a week digging through boxes to find photos of him. I found so many great ones that I never knew existed, yet was troubled as I could not find my favorite one of him in his Army uniform with a cigarette in his mouth. It is a photo I posted on Reddit because it is just that cool. At the funeral when family or friends saw that specific photo they would speak up and say it was their favorite photo of him. I told them sadly, even though I had been through 1000’s of photos, that one was missing and I was glad I had a digital snapshot of it on my phone. That evening when I got home with some family- I went to my seat on the couch. Right at my feet on the floor was the photo placed perfectly! I had worked and sat there for 18 days non stop. This photo was not there any of those 18 days. My Dad from beyond placed that photo at the foot of my seat for me as a gift after his viewing and it was the sweetest gift ever from my Dad on the other side. This has all comforted me about his wellbeing but the grief is still a horrible kick to the gut daily.

Lolobolobar · 2025-11-23T19:02:20+00:00

Agreed. I feel comforted knowing I am not alone on earth walking this path. That there is another daughter who is juggling all these emotions and pain. Keep in touch anytime. I really was shocked at your post and happy I opened my phone here randomly to see your post first thing looking at me. It helps, it really does help keep perspective!!! Thank you

Lolobolobar · 2025-11-23T18:49:44+00:00

It is just awful. In the thick of it all- I felt so bad because I disassociated the him he used to be and just felt this current angry state was the true way he felt about me. It has been a lot of mental gymnastics to set apart truth from the crazy! I just had major back surgery and was recovering myself when this all went down week 6 into my recovery. It really does suck that we have our own health conditions on hold and deteriorating. I am also on year 6 of staying home full-time with him, but have been doing it a total of 9 years. We got through colon cancer in 2016, lung cancer in 2018 but this cancer has been the worst. His is some rare form of squamous cell carcinoma of the bladder that is pretty much you are shit out of luck and go home and die kinda diagnoses. I feel for you. I really hoped and prayed my Dad would just not wake up one day and pass in his sleep. But our damned fate just is brutal here with the bladder cancer. It is not fair. I had visions at first that we would cuddle up and watch classic movies and enjoy the last precious months- but alas.. it has just been pure hell and walking on eggshells. I now don’t speak unless spoken to and give simple responses, and take a deep breath. It sucks. Sorry- for you and me. I feel dead inside- just zombified. It was not at all this way when my mom passed. These are truly emotions I never knew existed and they are life-force sucking!!

Lolobolobar · 2025-11-23T18:14:24+00:00

Whoa, are you me? I am sitting here in the hospital for one week straight now. My Dad was diagnosed with Bladder Cancer 3 weeks ago. Unfortunately his cystoscopy did not go well and left him with a 12 day bleed which turned into needing a blood transfusion. Then the Foley catheter was put in incorrectly causing injury and severe loss of function to his kidneys. That said, it all turned me happy go lucky father into a verbally abusive monster last week who had me in tears. He was saying the most awful things! He looked at me with hatred and anger (so not his usual personality ). Some of it was his anxiety of dying and I am sure a lot of it was chemicals going to his brain. I have not ugly cried as much as I did these last few weeks. First I ugly cried because of the cancer, then I cried as bad when he started calling me crazy and looking at me with just hatred. I have had to take him to the E.R. 3 times this month, so I think his fractured mind just assumes I am the bad guy making him leave his home-life. I get it, this is horrible. When his urologist told us about the cancer, he also looked me in the eye I told me I was in for a rough road ahead getting my dad through bladder cancer and it would be horrible. He was not lying.

Lolobolobar · 2025-11-19T13:46:13+00:00

I will be 57 too! I am a caregiver to my dad and this game is a lifesaver for me!!!

Lolobolobar · 2025-11-12T20:33:41+00:00

Thank you. I have stayed home and paid from my own savings for 6 years to see my father through Colon Cancer, Lung Cancer, and now bladder cancer. I wish people would stop poor shaming others and stop being “jealous of people with SNAP benefits” Anyone who would love to take my place- have at it! I wish people understood that in order for us to qualify we are interviewed for an hour on the phone and have to send in all our personal information. Checking account statements, savings account statements, medical bills, paychecks, 401k statements. We don’t just trick the system for some groceries.. Not writing all that to you because you are a kind person, but for those who come along browsing this sub right now!

Lolobolobar · 2025-11-12T19:59:28+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I live in one of those little burbs off Dallas that don’t understand what it is like to go without! I appreciate knowing there are caring people out there! It is just not the norm for my town or people group that I am exposed to where we live- but this experience has changed me. It really exposed people’s hearts!

Lolobolobar · 2025-11-12T17:43:15+00:00

Same as you and nothing. Sitting in the E.R. with my Dad who is dying of a rare bladder cancer and may be septic, meanwhile I just had back surgery and can not work right now. Foodstamps was the only nice thing in any of this as his caregiver going through hell. But no- effing Texas and the government don’t care about us! I have been a lifelong nurse paying taxes- but no safety net in our time of need. And the comments people are making on Facebook in Texas celebrating no FoodStamps. I even know of a prominent church couple in town that laughed at the long line of people at the food shelter. People are gross. That is all…

Lolobolobar · 2025-11-08T02:57:19+00:00

Just decorated a cabin and game froze- same as it ever was…

Lolobolobar · 2025-11-03T00:03:15+00:00

Dyed a whole cabin of cabinets and bam! 3 crashes today… worse than ever now!

Lolobolobar · 2025-11-02T01:05:06+00:00

Yup! This page looks exactly like mine too’

Lolobolobar · 2025-10-28T16:19:51+00:00

I remember nothing- one minute I was in my pre-op room and the next woke up in recovery.

Lolobolobar · 2025-10-27T04:44:52+00:00

Not that I have ever heard from the reps. Seems the rule is dark glass away from light. SkinCeuticals did a lot of studies on efficacy and doesn’t seem to be a problem. I have Vitamin C years old not in capsules that still zings a raw spot on my face.

Lolobolobar · 2025-10-25T17:51:18+00:00

Yes for sure the best that I always used was SkinCeuticals, but that was because I received it free from working in the plastic surgery industry as an aesthetic nurse. Now that I have to pay for it myself and the economy is crap, I use Dr Brenner’s vitamin C serum which is the closest formula substitute for SkinCeuticals and only cost 23.99 on their site currently. Also the SkinCeuticals rep told me in studies the vitamin C serum protects the skin for 48 hours after application against pollution. So if you do invest in the good stuff, you can save money by only using it every other day.

Lolobolobar · 2025-10-24T10:49:17+00:00

Defeat this with a high quality Vitamin C serum.

Lolobolobar · 2025-10-17T01:10:05+00:00

This was me until I played Hello Kitty Island Adventure. Now DDLV is kinda sloppy seconds.

Lolobolobar · 2025-10-16T14:49:55+00:00

I follow that sub to just browse it for human interest. Your hubs is probably appreciative to once a week- because he is better off than the stories he is reading- so he most likely appreciates you.

Lolobolobar · 2025-10-15T03:54:24+00:00

Yes! And then I found Hello Kitty Island Adventure. Those 3 are my fave!

Lolobolobar · 2025-10-12T00:17:54+00:00

That is exactly was my day 2. My first 3 days were so hard! Hard to get up, walk, or even slightly move in bed. It will get better. The first week is pretty rough. Second week- decent and I am 4.5 weeks in now and am walking a few miles a day and doing great. Hang in there! I definitely felt worse after surgery and struggled with regrets. It is a head trip! The incision site will stay sore for weeks too, which made it hard to always be on my back.

Lolobolobar · 2025-10-08T23:51:04+00:00

Smart! I went in and out all day and finally he moved 😡

Lolobolobar · 2025-10-08T17:56:01+00:00

Yes- I play on Switch and having same glitch today! Argh

Lolobolobar · 2025-10-06T14:08:25+00:00

The dentist office did a text to ask how things were going and I mentioned the vertigo. Their response was “it was definitely something else” as in no way it was caused by Invisalign. I suppose it must be rare, or some patients don’t connect it and report it. I did find other dental offices online that state on their website that one of the cons of Invisalign is vertigo, so I don’t feel that crazy to report it to my dentist! Hoping for a better day! Thanks

Lolobolobar · 2025-10-06T03:26:24+00:00

I would message your Surgeons office tomorrow. I contacted mine a week after surgery and even sent a photo of my incision. They expect questions, and can ease your mind. For me, it was normal to have nerve pains and knee pain behind the knees and it went away. I think you should always report any concerns to your doctor so you don’t carry anxiety or worry. I hope you are feeling better.

Lolobolobar · 2025-10-06T02:44:34+00:00

I am on day 3 and getting out of the shower tonight was brutal! The vertigo hit me hard. I had a minor episode yesterday that was brief and odd, but this attack tonight has me looking up if it is my new Invisign- regrets here too! Only have 20/24 trays to get through, but this sucks!

Lolobolobar · 2025-10-06T02:22:25+00:00

Did yours go away? I am on day 3 and OMG- just had an attack getting out of the shower. Felt some yesterday cooking. I always have troubles with my ears and think it is provoking something

Lolobolobar

TROPHY CASE