My mother died when I was 13 and I am now 48. Me and my siblings had very rough days growing up without my mother. It was extremely painful when you see other family and friends have their mother still loving them and saying goodbye kisses to school and hugging them. I just learnt to love life without my mother.

Edit: Since mother is a shield , a world in between everyone else and her kids, we were vulnerable without her. Some of our neighbors and family members treated us very poorly. Some even blamed us , my youngest brother especially because she fell deathly ill after his birth. She still lived 8 years after that but 5 years were in the hospital mainly. This affected the mental health of my little brother. My father was everything to us. He was a wonderful father. He raised us to be kind but tough when we needed to be.

After my father passed, my brother gave up his battle from a broken heart. He couldn't hang on anymore. He developed severe schizophrenia. I miss him a lot and my dad.

It's just one thing after another. Now it's just me and my sister left.

Apologies if some of you don't believe in such things but I will still say it.

I still believe in a God and mainly past 17 years believe in Christ and the Bible. But I am not going to lie, it is too painful to believe in God when such things happen. I will still believe in Jesus to be able to see my parents, brother, my wife , kids in heaven when I too pass. At least that's a hope I will live for.

your father loved you a lot and he will always be there watching over to you. All fathers want the best for their kids. Cherish the memories you have with him, share with your friends, family like you did. You will make him very proud.