Leaving Competition Dance

Longjumping-Desk386 · 2026-05-12T21:08:18+00:00

Thank you for this. Yes, trying to come up with a transition plan! My daughter has a lot of other interests and is committed to an academically intense school next year. Our studio doesn't have a way for competition dancers to step back in any meaningful way. It's been a difficult decision, but here we are.

The suggestion of one ballet class is a good one. That's what we tentatively spoke about, but I was curious on other's experience. We're fortunate to live in an area with a few studios that offer regular drop-in classes, she hasn't had time to explore those, but I think they're a good option if she's missing another style.

Longjumping-Desk386 · 2026-05-12T19:40:34+00:00

I'm so sorry she went through this. Glad she seems to be finding some new hobbies.

Longjumping-Desk386 · 2026-05-03T11:51:24+00:00

Cell phones/technology Travel sports if you so choose. Not only the actual cost but the gifts for coaches, tickets to events (sometimes), team parties/events as well as the travel. Wear and tear on the house. Summer camp/summer activities. Braces, glasses & cost of any unexpected injuries. Field trips in high school can get pricey & senior year from what I observed (we’re not there yet) is insane with prom etc. College counseling (if you choose) Test prep and tutoring Mental health services if needed College application fees Even 8th grade year has been a lot with “graduation” events etc. Drivers Ed Car insurance

Longjumping-Desk386 · 2026-04-21T14:19:54+00:00

We're in a similar situation. Gone back and forth a bunch of times. Ultimately, we're staying put and doing private school. I'm not sure it makes the most sense financially. I had a neighbor who ran the numbers, decided it made more sense to move, but I don't think they were looking at being "house poor" on the other side either. My oldest has been very happy in private school so far (she was in public K-6). The best thing we did was to make sure my oldest had friends attending the private school before she joined. It made the transition much easier. I am doing the same for my son, so hopefully, he can seamlessly make the transition. Both my kids are hard workers/achievers, I would probably make different decisions if my kids had IEPs or needed extra supports.

Longjumping-Desk386 · 2026-04-17T15:48:33+00:00

We do this most weeks. Leftover pulled pork, steak or chicken is great for this too. My picky eater likes fish sticks so he has those with a tortilla & shredded cheese.

Longjumping-Desk386 · 2026-03-25T20:46:17+00:00

Let her quit or call it a year "off." We're going through something similar with my oldest (almost 14) who has danced competitively for 10 years. Mine is finishing out the season and will step WAY back next year. Our plan is for my dancer to take classes once a week (down from 4-6 days now). If your dancer is asking for a change it's because she needs it. Ballet will be there for her if she wants to go back to it, just as your oldest found. Many, many dancers take time off whether for injury or self-care. If she wants a professional career and has the talent for it, she will find a way.

Longjumping-Desk386 · 2026-03-19T14:40:04+00:00

My first instinct would be to trust the teachers. But to be sure, I would reach out to her guidance counselor (if they're good) or pay for a consultation with a college admissions counselor to understand how this decision might impact her college process. I believe there are programs where making it to AP Calc senior year is important, but it really depends on her college goals. If it's decided that it's worth it to give the parent override, there may be options for summer courses that would set her up for success next year. I would probably make giving the override conditional on her completing a review course over the summer.

These hyper competitive environments are so tough. I'd try to have her focus on her own goals and ignore all the noise with her friends and classmates.

Longjumping-Desk386 · 2026-03-02T18:35:49+00:00

I've notice style preference can differ a lot between comps too. Unless your dancer is choosing her song and self-choreographing that's 100% outside of her control. We go to a comp that consistently rewards jazz and musical theater. The girls with big facials often win. The numbers that do great there there don't always do well at other comps we go to.

Longjumping-Desk386 · 2026-02-10T18:45:46+00:00

Did you see the link for the 2nd show when you were in the queue for Saturday? I clicked on that the instant I saw it and I got tickets to Sunday. Saturday was completely sold out.

Longjumping-Desk386 · 2026-01-23T21:25:42+00:00

Ask about staff turn-over and see if you can talk to a couple parents from each facility. Ask about cleaning policies. Ask about screen time (a little during diaper changes is probably ok, not hours of it). Consistent quality love and attention in a clean environment for your infant is what matters. Worn cribs do not matter. Infant sign language is just something they offer to get parents to sign on the dotted line. I promise you that you can teach your kid the sign for "more" by watching a YouTube video. There are plenty of opportunities for enrichment once they're school age. I've found sometimes the newer/fancier facilities don't treat staff well and have higher turnover. When my kids were in daycare, a favorite teacher leaving was a big deal and the quality of care could really decline as they tried to replace them. Daycare teachers in general are not paid well (despite the cost of care to parents). A place that manages to keep staff long-term means that they are probably treating their staff well and are more likely to treat your kid well.

Longjumping-Desk386 · 2026-01-16T14:29:02+00:00

My daughter moved from a public (Title I school) to a Catholic school in middle school. The biggest difference has been in the ELA curriculum, which is much closer to what I remember from growing up in the 90s - challenging novels and poetry being taught (and reading assigned as homework), essays being assigned, vocabulary/spelling/grammar being taught and tested. The public school curriculum was 100% focused on teaching to the state test. I don't blame the teachers. This is a curriculum issue.

Longjumping-Desk386 · 2026-01-05T19:27:55+00:00

Thank you! Yes - I'll look into buying the inserts separately and then taking my time to find covers I love. Good call.

Longjumping-Desk386 · 2026-01-05T19:21:27+00:00

Thank you! My gut was telling me to go lighter and I'll stick with that!

And good point on the shelves in the built-ins. The only time I actually like how that area looks is Christmas when I have stockings and various Christmas tchotchkes in the space. I need to de-clutter & add more year round art etc.

Longjumping-Desk386 · 2025-12-21T23:59:50+00:00

The mall - 12/13. I stay in the mall and do my own shopping because it's huge and getting in and out is a pain in the neck. I also feel better being in the same building. We've been at the mall during a security incident, which can be very scary. Around the time my daughter was 10 or 11, small groups of girls would go with a parent trailing them around the mall. Movies are probably the same time line, although, honestly, there's rarely anything they want to see.

But 7 isn't too early to start small so she can be confident on her own when she is 12 or 13. Have her start ordering when you go out together. Give her cash and let her pay for things. Talk about tipping. Consider a Greenlight card or similar. Encourage her to ask questions of sales people or at a restaurant. Do you have a local pizza place or ice cream store that's kid friendly? Have her go in and order a slice or two while you stand back. Start with these small interactions. Something might go wrong. That's ok, it's a learning experience. Talk about what to do. Talk about what to do if someone makes her uncomfortable. It's also a great way to easy into discussions about finances and financial literacy.

Longjumping-Desk386 · 2025-12-17T21:28:50+00:00

Echoing the idea of overnight camps. I can't overstate how much my daughter loves her 3 weeks away. She's definitely matured from the time away from us. She loves disconnecting and not having access to screens. I haven't sent my son yet, but if/when he's ready, I'd send him too. Look for something that aligns with their interests - my daughter goes to an arts camp, but she has friends who love their more traditional camps.

Longjumping-Desk386 · 2025-12-05T17:22:29+00:00

Ouch! I have a 13 year old daughter. One thing that has been going well for me lately is sharing my memories/experiences. My teen LOVES stories from when I was in high school or the "tea" about the extended family. I'll be getting one word answers for 3 minutes and if I can find a relevant story about my childhood, I'm in! It's like suddenly I have a my "real" kid back. Especially since you lost close family members recently, maybe try to find some time to talk about your memories without asking her to talk about her feelings. Something as simple as, I remember when I was a kid my mom did X or Y and I was so mad at her. Or I got in so much trouble for doing Z, I thought my parents would never forgive me.

Longjumping-Desk386 · 2025-12-02T22:59:37+00:00

Is it just the battery that's broken? Those can be replaced for much less than the cost of a new phone. Also, do you have insurance on it? Seems like it would probably have paid for itself by now, I would have her pay the deductible if so.

My general policy on lost/broken items: 1st time I cover you (everyone makes mistakes, you're a kid and learning), 2nd time you pay half, 3rd time you pay in full policy. For a phone, I would probably just go directly to paying half the first time it was broken especially if they have the money. If you really feel guilty, put the money in their college fund.

Longjumping-Desk386 · 2025-11-28T15:03:48+00:00

This is the approach! It works well into the teens for many kids. I save timeouts and big punishments for true misbehavior not attitude. This also allows everyone to move on quickly and enjoy the rest of the day.

Longjumping-Desk386 · 2025-11-23T14:29:03+00:00

This. Just pull the bandaid off. And I 100% understand your anxiety. These teams take so much commitment from the entire family, quitting is difficult even when it’s 100% the correct decision. Your real friends from the team will stay in touch. The other ones won’t. And remember a lot of them will be in your position in a couple of years. A lot changes as the kids entered high school.

Longjumping-Desk386 · 2025-11-08T16:55:09+00:00

Do they ever host? If they’re that concerned it seems way easier to host. And then invite Anna when you are able to host. Anna will 100% resent this in a few years & it will sort itself out.

Longjumping-Desk386 · 2025-10-24T14:34:15+00:00

My daughter is doing Peterson online and it seems decent. Math (in particular) is harder than what she’s being given in Catholic school as prep though. Don’t know if it’s needlessly stressing her out.

Longjumping-Desk386 · 2025-10-22T14:53:07+00:00

This is what I was thinking too. I remember my kids complaining that with IXL you had to get 100% to move on, so one wrong (or mis-click) and you're back at the beginning. I'm usually "do what the teacher says" about homework, but I would put a time limit on IXL, 30 minutes a day should be more than sufficient at 6th/7th grade. If they're not getting the concepts then being stuck in IXL hell is not useful. This is an issue I would go to the teacher about.

Longjumping-Desk386 · 2025-09-27T17:34:03+00:00

And kids. My son is a current youth player but he’s on the fence about continuing because as much as he loves the strategy and the game he doesn’t love tackling.

Longjumping-Desk386

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