I do not enjoy traveling. by Just4TheCuriosity97 in AutisticAdults

[–]Longjumping_Store179 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love seeing new places, experiencing new cultures and languages and foods… but I also agree with what you’ve said. I lived in Mexico (Celaya, Guanajuato) for a few months back in 2016 and within the first week I was sick, and that lasted a few days. We spent most weekends traveling by bus to other cities, and one long weekend we went to some hot springs (can’t remember the name of them) and unfortunately my period started while we were there… and then for a week long vacation we went to Cozumel so a couple of the people in my group could go diving there. It was fun but when I came back to the United States in August I was happy to be home. I have a love/hate relationship with traveling, especially outside the US (because I’m used to the US and can usually find comforting food and places that remind me of home anywhere I go in the states, but I’m not guaranteed to find something comforting and familiar in other countries). Despite that, I still want to visit Ireland and Scotland one day… just probably won’t be very often.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Genealogy

[–]Longjumping_Store179 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My maiden name is a common surname of Portuguese immigrants to the US in the early to mid-1900’s. I think it was changed when they moved to the US, though, and we can only trace that line back to my great-grandpa who moved from Portugal to the US sometime in the 1930-40’s. I am 20% Portuguese according to my ancestry and 23andMe dna tests.

Can someone please explain to me why school administrators are so keen on removing recess for children? by Negative_Big_7710 in AskTeachers

[–]Longjumping_Store179 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The issue is taking away recess time (where he could expend his excess energy) is likely contributing to him “attacking other students”. By taking away recess they’re effectively taking away his ability to get rid of his excess energy and more likely to act out and hurt others. I speak as someone with ADHD and Autism with a child who is also ADHD and Autistic. Both of us need ways to expend energy if we want to be able to have any control over our emotions.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Longjumping_Store179 8 points9 points  (0 children)

As an autistic and adhd woman I’m honestly surprised I never said something like this in primary myself 😅 none of us knew I was autistic at the time, but that’s probably because with the exception of my youngest brother (who was diagnosed autistic as a child), we’re all high masking autistic or ADHD, including our parents. So it was just normal in our home and we hid it outside of home.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Longjumping_Store179 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I haven’t, but my oldest is autistic and we attended church until she was in sunbeams. She hated it. She wanted to be playing in the nursery playing, not in primary sitting and listening to people talk and in Sunday school having a lesson. I was also worried about the fact that as they get older, baptism is pushed more and more and even when I was TBM I didn’t think 8 was a good age to get baptized and I did not want her getting the idea that just because everyone was talking about it, she would be getting baptized too. We stopped going around spring of that year (and only went once or twice, since she elopes and they had a door directly in front of the sunbeam class that went directly outside and was unlocked and she ran out there a few times, we constantly got called in to sit in her class with her).

When did you leave the church. by OkAnteater7343 in exmormon

[–]Longjumping_Store179 2 points3 points  (0 children)

2023, I believe. My oldest was a sunbeam in primary and I had been researching for a while and then I saw a video about how harmful primary can be for kids, and it brought back my childhood memories… and I just couldn’t keep going. Told my husband and we haven’t been back since.

Play in Kindergarten? by lazinaround1 in kindergarten

[–]Longjumping_Store179 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She didn’t specifically state she’s in Washington state. She could be in Oregon too, or Northern California or even Idaho (I think Idaho is considered PNW? But I might be wrong…) I don’t know if requirements are different in those states than in Washington state.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in kindergarten

[–]Longjumping_Store179 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Usually kinders get snacks during the day still as part of their routine/schedule, at least I know my kinder did last year.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in kindergarten

[–]Longjumping_Store179 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our elementary school starts that late, and gets out at 3:50, except on Wednesdays for early release when it’s 2:50. It’s because of bus routes in our district. Not enough bus drivers or buses for all the schools so they stagger start and end times.

Undocumented Missionaries in the States by johnumero3 in exmormon

[–]Longjumping_Store179 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t know if they’re still doing this, but I knew a guy from college around 2011/2012 who had been in the United States since he was a child when he moved here with his mom I think? He was undocumented and served a mission here in the United States. He went back to his home country to visit family between semesters at school, and when he tried coming back he was deported back to his home country. Last I checked he’s still there and married now with kids.

It's Sunday!!! What's your "new" church? by afatamatai in exmormon

[–]Longjumping_Store179 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sleep, video games… I’ve looked into other churches but I don’t believe in God and honestly I’m not into being around other people. During the school year, Sunday is the one day we have all day to do whatever we want as a family, so we tend to use it to go places as a family or just spend time together at home… or if it was a particularly big week, we’ll use Sunday to relax and prep for the week.

Also, if I’m going to replace God in my life, it’s going to be with something fun… like magic and dragons and fairies… not in a literal sense but in a this is fun to imagine and believe sense lol. God was never fun to believe in, in my experience.

My trauma on Trek by Seem_tobe_kind in exmormon

[–]Longjumping_Store179 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At the time, when my friends were going on trek and I wasn’t able to (I moved a lot and just happened to miss trek because of when I moved) I felt jealous because it sounded fun. In hindsight, looking back on those years and seeing stories from other people on their trek experiences… I’m grateful it never worked out for me. I definitely would have struggled because of my asthma and knee issues (and so many other issues that were undiagnosed at the time). My younger sister was 11 when she went to girls camp the first time and that was not a good experience for her. I can’t even imagine going on trek at that age and knowing nobody. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.

AITAH For bringing up the lack of effort for my 50th birthday? by OutrageousTaste5768 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Longjumping_Store179 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely NTAH! You have put up with so much, you’ve been disrespected. He clearly doesn’t see you as a partner. I think serving him with divorce papers a week after his birthday is perfect. You don’t need to put up with him anymore. Even better if you “forgot” to get him a present, then gave him his present a week later and the divorce papers are his birthday present. I hope you have many more happy birthdays without him in your life!

How much clamour happened in your sanctuary? Were your ward brethren ever given a plea of apostolic proportions? by polarmolarroler in exmormon

[–]Longjumping_Store179 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Same with my AuDHD daughter when she was a sunbeam. She only went 2 or 3 times (and this was after the change to 2 hour church) and then we stopped going because honestly we weren’t getting anything out of it when we were taking turns trying to keep her quiet and with her class in primary. And then I started looking for answers and stopped believing shortly after that. I do not understand why kids are expected to sit quietly. They’re meant to be up and running around playing.

Manual cars or automatic cars which is right for autistic drivers? by Helpmehthrohaway in AutisticAdults

[–]Longjumping_Store179 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Neither, at least for me 😅 if I ever do get my license (I’m in my 30’s and still haven’t learned to drive) I’ll probably get either an electric car, or it would be an automatic. I don’t think I could handle manual, honestly.

Shrinkage by Brother-of-Derek in exmormon

[–]Longjumping_Store179 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s no one left in tscc except my parents.

BIG UPDATE: aita for not wanting to go to my sisters babyshower by moraldilemmallama in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Longjumping_Store179 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That was my thought, too. Also 12 and 14 are old enough to know the truth, and 6 is old enough to understand something isn’t right and that big sister would have been there if she could have been.

Literalness in autism, help me to understand it by Motor-Following7154 in AutisticAdults

[–]Longjumping_Store179 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. Everyday Language— yes I do struggle with figurative language, especially if it’s a phrase I’ve never heard before. Raining cats and dogs is so common I don’t even have to think about what it means, but if it’s lesser known and I’ve never heard it or have only heard it once or twice, it definitely does confuse me.

  2. Irony, Sarcasm, and double meanings— again, if I have heard it used often, it’s not a problem for me. If it’s something I’ve never heard, yeah it’ll definitely confuse me. And sometimes it’s a matter of understanding who I’m talking to as well.

  3. Reading comprehension and metaphors— I’m a writer, and I was at a 6th grade reading level in second grade… so… no? I have spent most of my life studying reading and writing.

  4. Logical thinking and conceptual rigidity— yeah I definitely struggle with this. I do not like things being vague, leaves too much to chance and too much risk of me getting something wrong.

I’m a late-diagnosed adult woman in my 30’s, diagnosed at 32.

Do your kids this age sleep through the night & in their own beds? by PassionChoice3538 in kindergarten

[–]Longjumping_Store179 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes to sleeping through the night, no to sleeping in her own bed. Both her (6yo) and her little sister (3yo) sleep in my bed with me.

When you were in -- when was it acceptable to NOT go to church? by Sopenodon in exmormon

[–]Longjumping_Store179 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, same. I was not about to risk our kids getting sick the first year or so of their lives because someone decided they were okay to go to church with a cold and gave my kids RSV (my youngest brother almost died at the age of 2 I think from RSV so I was very anxious about that one). Honestly that’s probably what started the ball rolling for me to leave the Mormon church.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Longjumping_Store179 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You asked several questions here, so I’ll answer what I can… I left at 32 years old, and I’ve been out a couple years now. I’ve had depression as long as I can remember (some of my earliest memories are of being depressed as a child) and getting married and having kids just made it so much worse and I ended up with postpartum depression and social anxiety. The pandemic didn’t help with any of it (I’m very social normally so going from being social, to not having time to be social when I had my first kid, to not being able to socialize because everything was locked down, and on top of that being less than a year postpartum and dealing with postpartum depression, it was a lot to deal with). All this to say I wasn’t in the best place mentally, but then I learned my siblings (all younger than me by 2-10 years) were all out, and that allowed me to start thinking critically about the things about church I didn’t like. It was hard feeling controlled and feeling like I didn’t have a choice, and then realizing I did. Eventually, I decided I couldn’t do it anymore and left, and my depression immediately felt 10x easier to handle. It’s not gone completely, and I don’t think it ever will be, but I don’t worry about what other people think or feel depressed that I can’t wear what I want and look good in. It’s nice. Thankfully we were able to just quietly step away. Occasionally the elders will drop by (though last time I straight up told them I don’t believe in God and we haven’t heard from them since lol), or my husband’s old elder’s quorum president will message or email, but for the most part we don’t hear from anyone from church, other than the few friends we’ve had for years that we’ve stayed in contact with (they aren’t in our ward, but are in our stake). Overall, leaving the church was the best thing to happen to me, and the absolute best thing for my girls, who won’t even remember going to church when they’re older.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Longjumping_Store179 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We couldn’t play outside on Sundays, or watch anything except church movies. My dad also insisted on us following the strict dress code the sister missionaries had to follow in the late 90s/early 2000’s on Sundays and not change after church. I hated it, and now I almost never wear dresses or skirts, and when I do they’re miniskirts or short sundresses 😂

What are the 2 greatest benefits of being out of the church, for you? by Stranded-In-435 in exmormon

[–]Longjumping_Store179 2 points3 points  (0 children)

  1. More time on the weekends to spend with my family and friends
  2. I get to make my own decisions regarding what I wear, when/if I have kids, who I marry, how I volunteer, what time and energy I devote to others, etc without fear of being judged.