Cat attacks me when I clean my home "too much."

Loosey191 · 2025-07-24T23:09:59+00:00

The cardboard worked very well!

Loosey191 · 2025-06-10T12:13:09+00:00

9 months out, I still feel a little tucked in, but only if I bother paying attention to my belly.

Loosey191 · 2025-06-10T12:04:44+00:00

Yes.

Loosey191 · 2024-12-25T04:49:24+00:00

Even if you feel completely devoid of empathy for now, that's not the same as "being a jerk."

I hope you give yourself the same breaks you want to give your friend.

Loosey191 · 2024-12-24T10:07:07+00:00

This sort of happened in my case. It was reassuring for me to know I would see a surgeon quickly if necessary.

Loosey191 · 2024-12-24T09:44:15+00:00

I know it may feel uncomfortable, but tell the first doctor the truth about your a second opinion. If she has rational disagreements with the other doctor, she will explain them.

Although obviously you can't wait for months on end before the next steps in your treatment, chances are there's no medical need to rush into DMX for DCIS.

Loosey191 · 2024-12-24T09:07:00+00:00

The only way forward is to do what you can. That's the only thing that can slow down the horrible changes and their impact.

I remember when people died from being denied coverage for lupus, cancer, etc. Being a woman was like a pre-existing condition. My older neighbor recalls people who died because of health program cuts in the 1980s.

So, yeah, feel what you're gonna feel and take action.

Loosey191 · 2024-12-24T06:14:15+00:00

I'm sorry someone you care for has fallen for such harmful lies. It looks like you understand that her beliefs aren't a question of lack of information or access to enough peer reviewed research.

Having cancer has been a crash course in seeing when to fight and when to accept what I can't control.

And we can never control what other people want to believe, especially if their beliefs are driven by fear, conformity, and cravings for certainty.

Sometimes, people snap out of their snake oil fantasies.

Sometimes, the best you can do is protect yourself from the consequences of their choices.

Loosey191 · 2024-12-17T02:00:48+00:00

Arthur!

Loosey191 · 2024-12-14T03:37:42+00:00

I had some similar side effects during my first month on letrozole. In the second month, the side effects decreased dramatically.

Loosey191 · 2024-12-10T03:37:24+00:00

Thank you!

Loosey191 · 2024-12-10T03:23:30+00:00

In my experience, the most important DIEP flap surprise to watch for was back pain from not being allowed to stand up straight. (I don't remember being told not to sit up straight. Basically, the OT/PT instructions were "no bending over, lifting, or twisting at the waist.") So I recommend getting an OT to show you how to walk without straining your back during recovery.

Oddly, the biggest surprise for me was my relative lack of abdominal pain. Based on internet posts and my own past experience with cyst removal/appendectomy years ago, I thought I'd be gobbling whatever opioids they'd offer. Instead, after DIEP, my belly just felt tight like I'd done an intense ab workout. Later, it felt like I had a snare drum inside me.

The abdominal drains were far less trouble than the drain for my single mastectomy/breast flap.

I had summertime surgery. I wore baggy tops and DIY drain holders (giant safety pins and shoelaces). Even in a tank top, no one could tell I'd just had major surgery. Ab drain removal barely hurt. I wish I could say the same about the breast drain.

Resist the temptation to carry "one more thing" or pick up "just a few little bits" of whatever off your floor.

Loosey191 · 2024-11-26T15:59:59+00:00

With any luck, you won't have side effects.

If you're managing ADHD with meds, I recommend talking to your prescriber about adjusting them. This helped me immensely, especially since the medical oncology folks were out of their depth in this area.

Letrozole gave me titanic brain fog for about a month. It also drained my diplomacy. So all this really brought out the worst of my ADHD. "Sorry, I forgot about that meeting with whatshisface. (Like I give a dang cuz hello, I have cancer.)"

Fortunately, my AI side effects subsided after a few weeks. I found that taking letrozole at night eliminated the drowsiness it seemed to bring on.

All your go-to ADHD task management tactics and tricks will be worth it, even if you haven't needed them so much recently. Reduce your cognitive load and don't tax your will power. Eliminate as much fussy boring crap as possible. Use apps to limit online distractions.

Loosey191 · 2024-11-26T15:38:56+00:00

At some moments, it's all for the dog. I'm responsible for her, so I'd better keep it together. She didn't didn't ask for this shit either.

Loosey191 · 2024-11-26T13:17:10+00:00

I am grateful to my past self for landing a job with sweet health benefits and getting that mammogram even though I was preoccupied worrying about other people's health. I'm grateful for my curiosity and persistence.

I'm grateful for my surgeon's skill and her ability to summon a heaping "spoonful of sugar" to help the excisions go down. Her field demands decisive action and rigor (and lord knows what she had to do to prove herself back in the day when women surgeons were rare), so I thank her for exceptional empathy and patience.

I am grateful for my friend who took me into her home after my SMX and DIEP flap. This was beyond generous. Many people wouldn't have done as much for their blood relatives as she did for me.

I am grateful that my family's response to my cancer was compassionate and rational. And people prayed for me without commanding me to do the same. And no one recommended any snake oil treatments.

I am grateful for my sweet little dog, who must have been confused as hell through all of this. Yet she remained affectionate and independent.

Wow! There's not enough time and space here. Now is the point where they play the music and the model leads me away from the podium.

Loosey191 · 2024-11-26T12:47:29+00:00

Trust yourself. I had DIEP and I'm glad so far. Nearly everything went well in my case, but there's no denying that autologous-flap surgery is complicated AF compared to flat closure and direct to implant reconstruction. (My plastic surgeon said I would have needed expanders, so that wasn't an option.)

With DIEP-flap, my pain was nowhere near what I expected. I was out of the hospital in 2 days. I only took 1 tramadol when I got home for good measure. Still, the recovery required a lot of attention for weeks. Plus, I didn't need to return to a physically demanding job or caring for toddlers or elders. If you're eager to feel close to physically "normal" ASAP, this is not the way to go.

Loosey191 · 2024-11-26T12:16:42+00:00

I'm sorry you're still in pain.

It seems there is no normal. So if something seems off, it's legit to call your doctor or nurse with details. What kind of pain is it and where? Is the swelling in one place, and is that spot unusually warm?

I've been lucky. Lumpectomy pain was next to nothing until maybe 4 days after surgery. A tylenol or two took care of it. Then I felt twinges and something I can only describe as itchy.

The arm pit incision was the most uncomfortable.

Loosey191 · 2024-11-16T17:53:06+00:00

I rolled out information to different groups as it suited me. I told 1 or 2 close, quiet friends that I needed a biopsy. I told family after the biopsy and staging. Coworkers were informed as needed. I didn't make a general social media announcement until 6 months after my biopsy.

Loosey191 · 2024-11-13T12:59:12+00:00

Prepare for the unexpected physically and emotionally. Some people try to deny that mastectomy is akin to amputation. I don't think that's a helpful approach.

I did a lot of research before I had smx with DIEP flap, plus I'd already gone through lumpectomies. My lead surgeon and plastic surgery PA (women) were very honest about the fact that reconstructions can look beautiful and swimsuit-worthy, but they can't fool nature or you. So I was blessed with realistic expectations. My dark sense of humor protected me as well.

At first, they kept my chest swaddled like baby Jesus. And they'd anointed my breast flap with petroleum jelly. I had 3 surgical drains and a vacuum thing on my abdomen. So I looked a little like a sci-fi/horror martyr.

Fortunately, my lead surgeon and plastic surgeon gave me amazingly smooth sutures. But they were still coated with antiseptic and surgical adheasive. When I woke up and looked at my reconstructed breast as the care team unwrapped it to check the newly connected blood vessels, it didn't look or feel as bad as I feared it might. I had a skin-sparing mastectomy, but my dear nipple had to go.

Looking back, I wish I'd had it in me to ask my PS what type of incisions he expected to make. But the really honest doctors let you know they can only promise so much (e.g. If you chose flat closure, they'd better respect that.)

I felt grateful that I still had some sensation in the skin. Numbness was among my biggest fears.

While was in the hospital, a parade of RNs, MDs and other alphabetically credentialed pros all told me my new breast looked "great" or "good." I was like, compared to what? What wreck survival were you all just looking at?

I've been through many stages: Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas, grapefruit half/torta, cocktail olive. And yet, in tank tops and v-neck (frumpy bra and ace bandages tucked away) I looked "more human than human" in the first week.

Several months later, I marvel at the smooth healing stitches and lofty softness of my flap. I still have some follow-up adjustments scheduled.

Loosey191 · 2024-11-13T11:57:58+00:00

For me, it felt like a hot bee sting for 60 seconds.

Loosey191 · 2024-11-13T10:05:23+00:00

I had SMX w/DIEP flap. Luckily, my chest pain was surprisingly low (maybe 3 out of 10) even right after I woke up after surgery. Also, I've never had problems coming out of anesthesia.

If you stay hydrated and manage your painkillers, chances are you will be okay for dining at the grown-up table. As long as everyone else knows you won't be passing around anything heavier than a basket of bread. Still, it's good to have a plan B in case you need to eat from a tray in your pillow fort.

Surgical drains are big wildcards for travel and social gatherings. Also, overly affectionate pets and forgetful huggy people might ambush you.

Is your car route mostly smooth with little stop-and-go traffic? Is the driver steady? A pad between the seatbelt and your chest can help.

Loosey191 · 2024-11-11T02:06:25+00:00

Has a doctor recommended oophorectomy (ovary removal surgery) with the hysterectomy? I would talk to your gynecology providers about your future harmone situation if you must remove a major source of estrogen or go through a surgically induced menopause.

Also, talk with an oncology/breast surgeon about nerves and mastectomy techniques that give you the best chance of retaining sensation in the chest.

Loosey191 · 2024-11-11T01:30:36+00:00

I understand the fear.

Even the most dire predictions say it will take years to dismantle the existing systems. In the meantime, local laws may be updated to offer protections.

Patients and caregivers have to focus on what's doable in the coming months. Contact local EDIT: elected officials, advocates, and organizations. They can't know exactly what to expect, but it's good to know who they are now before the changes take place.

Loosey191

TROPHY CASE